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Dani08 
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 Topic: Are you an only child?
Posted: 02 May 2010 at 10:22pm |
I would love to hear about your experiences of being an only child - good or bad. We have a beautiful 18 month old girl who wasn't actually planned, but is now the most loved little girl on the planet. When I was younger I always thought IF I ever had a child, it wouldn't be an only child, since I grew up with a sibling. But now, even though I'm clucky for another, we are a little concerned about my age (39), health, family overseas, etc. to try for another, but feel guilty about not giving our little girl a sibling at the same time, so it would be nice to hear of some first hand experiences... 
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BugTeeny
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Location: Sunny Tauranga
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:18am |
I'm not an only child, but DH is.
He has the "double-whammy" effect of being born on Christmas Day 
However, from what I've heard from his childhood he didn't feel like he was missing out at all.
He had/has loving parents and has grown up with his best friend (who was our best man, and I consider a brother, also).
I'm sure there were times he thought he'd like a sibling, but he didn't really know any different, if that makes sense?
I don't think he's any worse off, at all.
He's independent, easy-going and makes (and keeps) friends easily. Has a great relationship with his parents (and my family, subsequently) and doesn't even give the fact he's an only child a second thought.
Bit of a novel. Hope that makes sense
*edited for to add another point.
Edited by MamaPickle
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fattykat
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:38am |
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*puts hand up*
I'm an only child.....don't 'think' it affected me lol.
Growing up it never worried me being a only child. I LOVED my childhood. Until reading this I don't think I had really given it any thought.
I don't have much of a extended family but there are close family friends who were always there for me and still are.
Like Mama Pickle said....I guess I don't know any different either.
My Mum and birth father seperated when I was a baby but my step father (Dad) has been in my life since I was two. I do have half sisters on my birth fathers side but they don't count as I have never meet them and don't intend to (I'm 31 and they are in their mid 20's I think) so consider myself the only one.
Edited by FattyKat
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julz85
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:39am |
does your daughter have any cousins around her age ? Im not an only child ( i have one sister) but i was bought up living very close to my cousin ( whos 9months younger than me ) and we are probably more like sisters than me and my natural sister .
i dont think it makes a huge difference as to weather your wee girl has any siblings or not, she will have all the love and attention she need from her mum and dad and will make friends in life that are like brothers/sisters to her .
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palomino
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:44am |
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Im an only child, i dont think it affected me in a bad way as such. I grew up on a farm so always had pets to play with and i have a heap of cousins who were always around so dont feel like i missed out on that front.
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Smelly_Kelly
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 10:07am |
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I was an only child, had the best childhood ever, and i dont think i missed out on anything :)
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MindyW
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 10:26am |
I was an only child too and must admit that I was pretty spoilt- The only prob was that if something got broken I had noone to blame it on
I lived with just my mum as my parents split up when I was a baby. While there was absolutely nothing wrong with my childhood, I did get lonely but was fortunate to have a lot of cousins. I personally want my bub to have siblings but wouldnt be devastated if I just had this little baby.... hope that made sense 
Love and affection counts waay more than other siblings- friends, sports teams etc can fill the gaps (if any) of having no siblings
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HuntersMama
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 10:58am |
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Im not an only child but one of my best friends is, and she is the loveliest person you will ever meet! She wasnt spoilt, and grew up with lots of cousins around. We have talked about it and she didnt feel like she missed out on anything, and is very independent.
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Dani08
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 11:03am |
Lol MindiW at having no one to blame for broken things - it never occured to me - so that would be one bonus for us as parents, hehe...
Julz, DD has 5 cousins here, but they are a bit older (ranging from ages 9 to 13) - the oldest is very keen to be her babysitter when she's old enough - another bonus
Thanks, it's nice to hear so much positive feedback though, makes me feel a little better about it
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caliandjack
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 11:53am |
I'm not an only child but Dh is he has a great relationship with his parents, and didn't miss not having a sibling as he didn't know any difference.
The only negatives with DH is he lacks patience as of course he never had to wait his turn when he was younger and he doesn't like it when he doesn't get enough attention. He was indulged in someways - he won't eat chops - as his mum only had one child to please.
On the other hand I have 1 older brother who I don't get on with at all, which has made me question the pros and cons of having two. I'll be 37 having my first so any subsquent children I'll be getting close to 39-40.
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jaz
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 12:39pm |
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I am not an only child but the youngest of four with an 8 year gap between me and the next one up, so at times felt like an only child. From about 8 years onwards my siblings weren't along for family holidays or around home much so it did get pretty lonely. Fortunately I have a lot of cousins my own age and although they lived about 3 hours away we did get together a lot growing up.
I always would have prefered to have siblings closer to my age growing up and now find I have a really close relationship with them. I have found my siblings to be a huge source of practical help and support over the years but because I have them probably don't rely on friends as much.
I am pleased I have siblings and wouldn't want my children to be an only but for me I had siblings around a lot in my early years then a big gap with not so much contact and I think I missed it because I'd lost it. I may have felt quite differently if I'd been an only child from day one.
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lilfatty
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 2:30pm |
My first husband was an only child .. and the only "flaw" he seemed to have is that he wasnt great at sharing as he never had too.
However, my daughter isnt that into sharing either .. and she isnt an only child 
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hannibal
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 3:04pm |
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I wasn't an only child but my brother was killed recently in an accident and I hate the thought now being the only one if that makes sense.
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emz
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 3:22pm |
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I'm not but I do have some friends who are. One is a very well rounded person, the other is a spoilt brat (still!). I think it comes down to parenting, not number of siblings.
One thing a lady at work said to me the other day stuck though - she, at 40, had her 2nd child and the deciding factor for her (she was about 50/50) was wanting the family to continue when she was gone. She said as an only child herself, she felt incredibly lonely when both her parents died and she had no siblings or other close family to turn to.
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High9
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 5:40pm |
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Me!
I always longed for a sibling, just someone to play with or boss around, sure I had friends over 24/7 and sometimes to stay the night but it was never the same because they always went home.
Holidays were often a bit boring and never anything like Splash Planet or Rainbows End...
I would have loved a sibling to have when on the long car trips too!
But being an only child and grandchild meant I was really spoiled with toys, clothes etc, never went without anything... When I got sick of my friends I could just send them home...
HTH... lol
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Whateversville
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:35pm |
 nkap9 wrote:
Me!
I always longed for a sibling, just someone to play with or boss around, sure I had friends over 24/7 and sometimes to stay the night but it was never the same because they always went home.
Holidays were often a bit boring and never anything like Splash Planet or Rainbows End...
I would have loved a sibling to have when on the long car trips too!
But being an only child and grandchild meant I was really spoiled with toys, clothes etc, never went without anything... When I got sick of my friends I could just send them home...
HTH... lol |
EXACTLY what I would have said!!
Holidays and long car rides were boring but I had lots of friends that lived on my street so I was okay
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jaz
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:43pm |
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I think the key is to be very child focused when it comes to holidays, weekends etc. If your only is busy with extra curricula activities, has the opportunity to go on camps with cubs, brownies etc and outings are child focused such as visits to the playground, camping holidays at the beach etc then its all good. Kids will make friends with other kids at pools, playgrounds etc, but the later childhood and early teen years get difficult, that is when family holidays with two parents doing their own thing and a bored lonely teen tagging along doesn't go so well.
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High9
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:45pm |
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Oh and sharing, I hate sharing lol
ETA like the above poster said child friendly activities, brownies, cubs etc, My mum had no idea so I missed out on that too!!
Like Julz said cousins, I had my cousins live with us for about 4 months when they first moved to NZ and it was really great! But also nice when they left as I didn't have to share lol
Aaand... Sorry you've really got me thinking!! My parents separated when I was a baby too, I do have half siblings but they're 10+ years older than me so never would have been good play mates and even now we have nothing in common!
Edited by nkap9
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Whateversville
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 7:44pm |
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I was into dancing at 3yrs then gave up at 10yrs and took up marching til i was 19yrs so I made loads of friends and travelled lots.
I also played netball at school..
I don't care about sharing now but when I was a kid I hated sharing my barbies coz I always had the good ones and didn't want other people playing with them lol
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High9
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Posted: 03 May 2010 at 8:08pm |
TrudzMum2B wrote:
I don't care about sharing now but when I was a kid I hated sharing my barbies coz I always had the good ones and didn't want other people playing with them lol |
Argh same about the Barbies!!
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Are you an only child?
