Birthday and grandparents

We are having a birthday party thing for Daniels 1st. We are having it at my mummas house because she has loads of space which is good since its coming up to winter and will probably be a crappy day..

We aren't inviting loads of people because it just becomes more and more expensive with food and I can't be bothered with a massive thing so we are only having immediate family and a couple of friends.

So then I have a phone call with my mum that went like this:

Mum: Is grandma invited?
Me: No
Mum: Why not? What am I meant to tell her?
Me: Nothing, why does she need to know its on and if she asks you can tell her that Rich's grandparents aren't invited, nana and grandad (mums parents) aren't coming either so why should she be the only one to come?
Mum: You know she's going to make a song and dance over it
Me: Then let her

See, I don't have a fabulous relationship with my Grandma. Since I moved out of home (at 17 - 6 years ago) the only time I have seen her is on my wedding day and when mum bought her over to meet Daniel. She apparently moans that I never go see her. She didn't care less if she saw me before Daniel arrived so I don't see why I suddenly have to make a big effort to go see her when she is perfectly capable of driving herself and when she doesn't want to see me at all, she just wants to see Daniel - which does piss me off. Like before our wedding I hadn't seen or heard from her in 3 yrs even though she's not far away (20 mins). She also compares me to my cousin who was born a few days after me and everything I do is never as good as my cousins and she lets me know about it constantly.

I also want his birthday to be a fun ocassion and with her around she would just irritate the heck out of me.

My mum now thinks that I should be inviting grandma if she kicks up a stink about it.

I'm sticking to my guns on this.. but do you think I'm being a big fat meanie for saying no she can't come?

I really don't see why I should be inviting her over the other grandparents. But if I invite the others then my aunts/uncles et will all expect to come and this party is suddenly a huge affair!

Edited by kebakat

My DH would rather she wasn't there lol

My Dad doesn't care if shes not invited and she's his mother!

If she had actually made some sort of effort over the last decade to talk to me then I'd probably feel differently but since she has made none I don't feel that I should HAVE to include her in everything especially since the others aren't going to be there.

As a side note, the only reason she came to our wedding was that my uncle (her son) basically forced her to.

If having her there is only going to annoy you then don't invite her.
Kids birthday parties stressful enough, and you don't need anything added to it.

Say its a kids only party or something and you want to keep it small.

If she had any sense, she'd respond well to "I just want to keep it small". Geez, we didn't even invite our own parents to any birthdays so far

I would just say that it would its a first birthday party , and she might find it overwhelming, all those kids running around (even if there isnt a lot of kids, just say there are :-P )

at the end of the day , your son is only ever going to turn one once, you have raised him and bought him to this milestone, therefore its yours and your DH day as much as Daniels, and so YOU deserve to have it the way you want it-if your even questioning whether or not you should have granny there, then theres your answer, so don't .
And if your mum decides to make a song and dance about it , let her , thats her problem

kebakat wrote: If she had actually made some sort of effort over the last decade to talk to me then I'd probably feel differently but since she has made none I don't feel that I should HAVE to include her in everything especially since the others aren't going to be there. .

i wouldn't invite her and if she kicks up a stink....tell her exactly the above

lol my mummas house is soooooo easy to find. I think you can cope with 1 turn cos thats all it is off the main road I'm going to print out a map for those who don't know where it is so don't worry becks

busymum wrote: oo some digging going on there Becks

No not at all, Josh has been invited to Daniel's party as he is a friend of Daniel's. They are close in age and see each other often. Daniel was invited to Josh's party, but he was sick so Stacey and Rich came along by themselves.

I uderstand where you are coming from Stacey. I never invited my nana (my mums mum) I never see her, she never makes an effort and wouldnt even know my sons name. infact she has only been to one birthday out of all my 3 kids and that was DD1 1st birthday 11yrs ago and she couldnt even bring a pressie.

Heck she hasnt made an effort with you as a grandaughter. Do what makes you and yours happy. Its yours and DH's day to celebrate surviving the first year and Daniels chance to tear into coloured paper lol