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Peanut View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:41pm
I know breast is best etc but I have a real thing about breast feeding that I can't get my head around so with my DH's support I have made the decision to bottle feed...when would you tell your midwife this?

I have my first appt on wed and was thinking I should tell her then incase she's anti and I need to find a new one.
       
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mum2paris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:45pm
your midwife should support you no matter what your choice is, yes they will probably ask questions around your choice to find out reasons. just to see if it is something that they could possibly help with. There are plenty of reasons for not wanting to breastfeed ranging from going back to work to having had abuse in your past.. and it is your own choice to make. some people try it and hate it, others think they will hate it but end up feeding for a long time. it's up to you.   if your midwife is all anti about it then i would suggest getting a new one anyway because you won't feel you can fully trust her and tell her things if you can't keep lines of communication open.
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mamanee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mamanee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:51pm
I think I may have the same thing Peanut. The thought of breastfeeding makes me want to cry. My reason is because I have ultra sensitive nipples that hurt when it's cold, when they are touched and I just don't like the kind of pain that I have with them. I've never been able to stand contact between my nipples and well.. anything really.

But I'm going to breastfeed. I'm going to try my very very very best to breastfeed because I may be ok about it, I have no idea. If it doesn't work out then I'll bottle feel, but I want to try.

So yeah, it's entirely your decision as to whether you breastfeed or not. Your midwife should be understanding. If not, get a new one.
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 1:52pm
I agree with Janine, your midwife shouldn't judge you for your decision. She is required to give you all the standard info on breastfeeding and breastmilk as part of the WHO guidelines on infant feeding, but if you make the choice to bottle feed then she should also provide you with info on sterilising bottles, mixing formula, different types of formula etc.

I'd probably mention it to her at your first visit and just see how she takes it. She may not worry about it too much initially as it's usually something that's discussed a bit later on, but if she has a real anti-bottle attitude then I'd definitely say look at finding someone else who is more supportive.

My midwife was great about bottle feeding, in fact we got to the point where she was almost telling me to gve up breastfeeding coz she could see how stressed I was getting.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susieq Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:11pm
i agree with the other ladies on here,the decision to breastfeed or not is a personal one and one that really just affects (effects?) you and baby.

Your midwife isn't going to be there for that long after the birth, just a few weeks or so, so even if they are anti bottle in my humble opinion its not really up to them to tell you what to do.

When i had caitlyn i was at bethany centre for young mums and they were very anti bottle, which was hard because for the first couple of weeks i HATED breastfeeding and would have gladly gone and bought formular,but was too scared and felt forced to continue with breast, i was lucky in that after 2weeks it was easy and i continued till caitlyn was 13 months but feeling like a decision that should only be mine was taken away because of other peoples opinion put a dampner on the situation.
Bottom line, its your choice how you feed the baby and as long as baby is getting fed thats all that matters .

Good luck with the midwife

*Caitlyns my girl *
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MyMinis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MyMinis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:39pm
Your midwife like everyones said needs to be supportive of your decision.
I planned to b/feed Haleigh but when I struggled with mastitis and the fact they are flat/ inverted my midwife pushed me, jsut lucky my plunket nurse was really good she made me feel better about bottle feeding.
so this time Ive told my midwife im going to try b/feeding but will give it up if i struggle again which she's ahppy about.

No matter what decision you make its your decision and your midwife should support you 100% Good Luck with your first midwife appointment.
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 3:22pm
I wouldn't expect a problem with the mw, she will probably ask your reasons etc, but try not to take that defensively but just because she is trying to help you (and your baby). Feeding your baby formula is not a bad thing, it's just not best, and I expect your mw will also want to ask you questions along the lines of, will you even give bf a go for the first month, even if you go to bottle after then, cause it will help baby's immunity etc.
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Glow View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 5:27pm
Ive already told my mw i dont wont to do it, but will feed the colustrium. Told her last week.

Hope you have an understanding m.w and it should be no prob to tell her next time you see her. That way you can work out weather you need a new 1 or not.


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emmaohara View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emmaohara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 5:51pm
I would tell her straight away, mine was adamant I breastfeed or I would have to find another midwife, I did breastfeed for 9 months but felt sorry for those mums who (quote midwife) " want to go out for coffee" i.e bottle feed ( shocker aye!) but my midwife was a hippy!!

I definately wish I had given my baby a bottle a day from dot as the transition to bottle never happened which was hard when he couldn't be left. So do whats right for you, you know yourself best.
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Glow View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 5:58pm
Yea some people can be very one-sided. As found out through my bottle days.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jamesmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 6:21pm
I bottle feed from 6weeks (had problems with milk supply) and my mw supported my decision(sp?). I also found my mw gave me lots of good advice about bottle feeding.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Candkids Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 7:20pm
i would tell her at your first visit incase she is very staunch opn her view, i gave breast feeding the flick after 4 days as i couldnt stand it my midwife was great or though made it clear that she thought breast was best however the plunket nurse i had was so horrible about my decision not to breast feed that i ended up asking her not to come back again.
as far as im concerned it was the best decision for both me and my daughter and i have no regrets on it.

its your body and its up to you what you feel comfortable doing.

i hate the thought of feeding my baby when i have visitors or in public so im not to sure what im going to do just yet with number 2.

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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2007 at 8:07pm
Catrad have you tried a light shawl over your shoulder while feeding? Nice and discreet
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Redbedrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2007 at 1:23pm
Another source of good advice for me has been Bottle Babies by Alecia (I think) Ferguson. Helped me with the practicailities of bottle feeding and also helped me rationalise why I had to do it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Candkids Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2007 at 6:31pm
i tried a few things with my daughter but in the end she wasnt getting enough anyway and it just felt like she was feeding every 30min and it was so painful, however this time im feeling more confident

DD 10.5yrs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MyMinis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2007 at 6:44pm
My karitane nurse through plunket was great esp since there was only 3 mums in our pepe group who breastfed she actually gave us information on bottle feeding etc, pity I never got it when I first started out.
It was great it explained everythign you needed to know about mixing, steralising etc.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Two Blondinis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2007 at 8:26pm
Not wanting to steer people away from Oh Baby but there is a Bottle Feeding Group on MSN.
NZ Bottle Babies

There are so many people on there that have bottle fed their babies either through choice or not.

I stopped BFing at 7 weeks for various reasons and felt very "judged". At the end of the day it is YOUR decision and one that should be supported.
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Paws View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2007 at 4:11pm
I've been debating if I should post or not and have finally decided to and hope it will be taken with the good intentions this is meant.

It is totally your decision to bottle feed and you should be given all the support you need from your midwife if that is the route you want to go and if she won't be supportive then I would find a new one. I would also let her know your intentions sooner rather than later.

Having said that I would really like to encourage you to consider giving breastfeeding a go. I was really funny about breastfeeding as I normally don't like anything being done to my nipples but I found it fine - well until the pain kicked in and I felt I had gave up and started bottle feeding.

It ended up being a decision that I really regretted and what I haven't shared on this forum is that I have just spent one month trying unsuccessfully to relactate. In the end Maddie had no idea what to do and we couldn't convince her nurse for anything and it does make me very sad and it's something I now can't go back and change.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that but I do want to make it clear that whatever you decide I do hope you get all the support you need.

Good luck.

Edited by Paws

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Beanz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beanz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2007 at 4:32pm
Arna was breastfed until she was about 3 months old, I really should have bottle fed her from about 10 days old for various reasons - mainly the fact that after I had her (naturally) I had to have 2 operations to "fix" a few things and that ended up stopping my milk supply - However I was only 17 and nieve (sp) and all the people around me were pushing the breastfeeding thing - all not realising that the reason Arna was constantly crying etc was because she was hungry due to the lack of milk supply.
When I had to go back into hospital when she was 3 months old and I couldn't express enough milk for her I told David just to give her formula and I never BF her again after that.
Having said all of that if I hadn't had the ops and if circumstances were different I may have BF'd her for longer, but then I may not have.

Talk to Plunket and places like that, explain that you are NOT BF for your own reasons and would like to give your child the best possible feed available and what they would recommend (bottle brands, teats, sterilisers, formula etc) I know personally Arna was alot more settled once she was on formula.

All the best !!
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Beanz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beanz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2007 at 4:36pm
Oh I went a bit off topic... I would tell your midwife asap as you need a supportive midwife throughout your pregnancy (and first 6 weeks). The sooner you get that support the sooner you can get things in place for bottle feeding (buying formula every grocery shop to build up a surplus etc)
Also during your pregnancy you may need to be on medication to stop lactating?? (not sure about this I am just plucking things out of thin air!!)

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