Children and weddings.

As a member of a wedding forum this is a topic that comes up regularly so I thought I would put it to the experts.

How do you feel about having children at weddings?

If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children?

If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway?

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?

i would never assume to take my kids to a wedding reception, unless the bride and groom told us first they would be welcome. i just dont think receptions are places for kids. but i do think that the ceremony is suitable for kids, and i love taking my girls and having a horseshoe for the bride for them to give.

if i wasnt able to take my girls to the ceremony, i would really think twice about going at all, i would think the b & g are being too precious about the wedding. i know it is their day, but it is also about sharing that day with family and friends, and in my book that is young and old.

but having said that, my big girl loves weddings and knows how to behave, and my little girl - well she is too little to know how to behave!, but if she started making a noise i would take her away so she didnt disrupt things.

How do you feel about having children at weddings?
Personally we had them and were quite happy with that. Though as it happens a lot of our guest left thier kids with sitters and enjoyed a night out!

But it is the bride and groom's day, not the guests, it is up to the bride and groom what they want and that should be respected no matter what. Yes it nice to children at a wedding but for some childless couples they might not appreciate having young kids who are too young to know how to sit still, running riot at the ceremony. Not all adults are immune to the noise and I personally don't think it's selfish for them to have the day they want.

If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? ?
No, I would check if it wasn't specified on the invite.

If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? ?
No way!! I would not be that rude!

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?

Assuming we could get a babysitter then yes I would. The only thing I could see stopping us would be if there were issues organising a sitter but seeing as you normally have months notice it shouldn't be much of an issue.

Edited by Paws

How do you feel about having children at weddings?
I think children at weddings is a good thing. Of course they need to be behaving well, not running around or being noisy, but most kids can handle an hour long ceremony alright. If they can't, I would expect to see (and have often seen) their parents take them to a quiet room or outside for a bit.

If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? ?
Yes - to the ceremony but not to the reception unless specified.

If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? ?
If it was clear that children were not invited, I'd only take anyone who needed bf (in my case, up to 1yo).

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?

Probably. Organising a sitter can be difficult and it depends on the ages of the children to be left behind etc. If we had a just turned 1yo, I would probably skip it and just send DH - because they don't do too well at being left. It would depend a lot on how 'important' (close) the couple were to us.

Most of the weddings we have attended recently have been out of town and that is even more difficult with children. If we are going out of town, we need to take the children with us. Once we have been 'okayed' to bring the children and done the ceremony and reception (in Levin) with them. That went ok, we packed heaps of stuff to keep the children amused and quiet, but it was also a lunch reception, not dinner - so that helped a lot.

Another out of town wedding we went to, we stayed over in a motel and asked a teenage friend to come stay with us so that she could bbsit the girls while we went to the reception. We made sure she had her own room, and it went really well. We did this because the wedding was at 3pm but the reception didn't finish until after 10pm, so it would have been too long to be away from the children (plus 1 1/4 hours drive each way) - Briona was 15mos and weaned.

I wouldn't take advantage of an organised sitter, I would appreciate the b&g trying to be helpful but I wouldn't leave my girls with someone they didn't know. Not at this stage. After 4 or 5 years would be better - but only if I knew the sitter was really trustworthy etc.

How do you feel about having children at weddings? I don't mind, We had Andrew at ours and he was no problem as he had grandparents looking after him. The other children that were there, were the resonsibility of the parents and they knew that.

If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children? Not if their names were on the invite, I would ring and ask what the story is with children bfore we RSVP'd

If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway? Nope, if I was invited to one that was to happen in the next few weeks I would be asking to take Josh as he is BF

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?  Yep, thats what grandparents are for

If the wedding was out of town, would having the B&G organise a baby sitter for the evening be appreciated? I'd be a bit hessitant as I wouldn't "know" the baby sitter, I would rather leave my children with either set of granparents as I have that option. It is nice that the B&G are trying to accomadate people with children but they sometimes don't think about the children themselves and the fact that they are going to be left with someone they don't know.

thanks, I will stick with my original decision.
Invite my nieces - jnr bridesmaid and flower girl and my matron of honours children, they are all school aged and I understand her 1yr old can't be left.

I feel if I allow some guests to bring their children then all of our guests will expect to, and at the reception we have to pay for them.
I would be happy for children to be at the ceremony, its in a garden and not very long.

How do you feel about having children at weddings?
I think it's a waste of money - the children don't appreciate what the day is about.

If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children?
No I wouldn't expect - & probably wouldn't want too

If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway?
No way, totally rude! But some people have done it

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?
Yes, if I could find a babysitter.

At my wedding no children were invited except for my 16 mth old niece.

How do you feel about having children at weddings?

We are getting married in october and it is a STRICTLY no children wedding. I'm ok if guests *have* to bring their littlies to the ceremony, but definately not the reception.
It is the B and G's day and not the day of other peoples children. That said, though, mine will be at the ceremony, and taken away after. We're getting married at 7pm anyhow. In my experience, it's mum that ends up looking after over tired kids while dad takes advantage of the free bar... As most of the guests, no ALL of the guests with wee 'uns are on my side, I don't think its fair to my friends...


If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children?

Not unless they were invited. And if they were, ceremony only, for the above reason!


If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway?

HELL NO!!! I might think my children are perfectly behaved, but others won't. I have had to be very loud and clear with our intentions about this as I Have heard of a few of our guests talking about the kids at the wedding, and I have had to say, well, sorry, but we are having no children, not even our own. Although there will e 2 guests with new (as in weeks old) babies who will be very welocme to bring their babies as I know at least one of them will be b/f (and the other I really don't think she will come, its my SIL and she hates me cos I'm a snob..)

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?

yes, of course!!!

And if B and G organised sitters, I would (and did last year at a wedidng we went to in te anau) use them. I've got a few lined up for those who are travelling and bringing children.
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How do you feel about having children at weddings?
Well, I think it depends. If it's going to be a long ceremony, full Catholic mass, in a quiet solemn church, etc., I think that as a parent, I wouldn't chance it. *I* would be too worried my kid would start screaming or wandering around or throwing toys and would be afraid of upsetting the bride and groom. Because I think it's their day, and I'd hate to take the focus off of them, no matter how cute my kid was being. As a bride -- I didn't want kids at my wedding, but on the day, a cousin's babysitter cancelled and they brought the kids to the reception, and I remember being so happy they were there and not minding at all -- I felt like I wanted to share my joy with EVERYONE.

If you were invited to a wedding, would you expect to take your children?
Unless they were specifically included on the invitation, I wouldn't expect to take them. I have taken Emma Rose to a wedding -- my uncle's, when she was 5 months old. She started to fuss at the beginning of the ceremony, so I took her inside the house (the wedding was in his backyard) and breastfed her while watching the ceremony through the window. Then she hung out in her pram during the reception.

If children weren't invited would you take yours anyway?
Definitely not. I think this is extremely rude. In my book, this rates right up there with putting gift registry details inside the wedding invitation (I am old-school when it comes to this stuff!). I do, however, know many people who have gotten very upset to be invited to weddings and not have their children invited as well, or be told that no children were allowed. I always think to myself that the bride and groom, when they have children, will someday be invited to a wedding where children are not permitted and will realise what it feels like. Also, I like a night out without my kid occasionally. I'd have no problem with finding a babysitter and going on my own -- in fact, I was recently bridesmaid in a wedding where no children were permitted, and Emma Rose stayed with my inlaws. It was lovely not to have to worry about her all night and being able to act like an adult! 

If you were invited to a wedding and couldn't take your children, would you go to the wedding?
I think this depends again. If the wedding was local, I would arrange a babysitter and go to the wedding. If it was far away, I'd think about my options, maybe taking a babysitter along, or leaving Em home with relatives while we took a weekend away together. If it was too much trouble to organise, I'd have to decline the invitation -- but I wouldn't feel malicious about it because I know how personal the bride and groom's vision of their perfect day is, and I'd hate to cause ill will by putting up a fuss if my child wasn't invited.

My two cents' worth -- just my opinion!

I don't get why you are all saying its too expensive too have children at weddings - are you talking about the reception not the ceremony?