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Maya 
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 Topic: Do you let your baby cry?
Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:40pm |
I don't want to  I had no issues with letting the gremlins cry, mainly coz I had no choice, I could only deal with one at a time so the other just had to wait.
But when Chiara cries I just want to pick her up! She doesn't really cry, she just squawks, the longest she has ever screamed continuously for is one minute, but it makes me want to go and get her and cuddle her.
She had a feed at 4pm and was due to feed at 7pm but woke at 6pm and squawked on and off so I got her up and fed her etc. then put her back down and she's due to feed again at 9pm. At 8pm she woke and squawked, and she's been squawking on and off since then, a minute or two of intermittent squawking then 5-10 mins of quiet, then more squawking. I want to get her up, but I know I should leave her till her feed is due otherwise we'll get stuck in a two hour feeding pattern and she'll do what she did when she got up at 6pm - fuss at the breast coz she's not really hungry, then wake early coz she's hungry coz she didn't have a proper feed.
It just feels so wrong letting her cry! And such a different feeling to how I felt when the gremlins cried, with them I thought they should just get on with it and learn to self settle, with her I just want to cuddle her all the time.
Random ramble, sorry 
But do you let your baby cry?
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:52pm |
Yep and he is crying at the moment.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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lilfatty
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:57pm |
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I dont .. DH does
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kebakat
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:59pm |
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At that age I let him cry once and couldnt do it again. I just wanted to cuddle him all the time. I think I let him cry for a minute and that was all i could really handle.
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peanut butter
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:00pm |
Not when he was little.....a little now though! Actually I am a big softie and I will only let him "complain cry" if he is really upset I alwyas go to him and give him a cuddle.
When he was a newborn I figured it was such little time out of my life to comfort a wee guy who didnt know any better than what felt good and what didnt...and he wanted his mummy. I now have a pretty independent little fella who happily settled into daycare (couldnt care less whether mummy is there or not) and who mostly goes off to sleep without a hassle....unless he is exerting his nearly-a-toddler-ness.
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Mazzy
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:05pm |
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Yeah. And I hate it too! K has just reached that adorable cute stage of smiling all the time and cooing and gurgling and I just want to spend all day with her in my arms. But where I would have done that with Miss I, it's not possible now with two. No comparison to you looking after 4, but you know what I mean - sometimes you just have to let them go for it because you have to do things with/for the other one.
Although, I'm not organised enough to do routine feeding and just let K feed whenever she wants. Not a great habit I guess, but I love my cuddle feeding times with her!
Have to admit, K is pretty laid back and doesn't cry much at all. I didn't know such babies existed - she doesn't let rip unless she's really at the end of her tether (or angry at stupid doctors for waking her up again).
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peachy
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:06pm |
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No, way too much of a softie here!! I think I have left her to cry once or twice and it broke my heart!
I agree with nzpiper, its such a short time out of my life to comfort them and give in to what they want!
JMHO!
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Mazzy
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:08pm |
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Should add, we let DD1 cry now that she's older, if we know she's just mucking around.
And I reckon if you want to pick her up and cuddle her then do it - it's not long before they're running away and wriggling and won't let you do that! I honestly don't think it's a bad thing.
Edited by Mazzy
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monster
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:17pm |
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No. It just doesn't sit right with me.
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james
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:39pm |
no with james i just couldnt do it i felt arfull so go ahead give your babies cuddles 
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2bmumof3
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:41pm |
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I've got softer with each child, DS1 I did let cry (but man I'm sure he cried ALL the time anyway) DS2 I didn't so much but with DD I really don't at all unless I simply can't get to her. I feed her completely on demand be that 2 or 4 hourly during the day and she sleeps through the night now so we're happy without structured feeds.\
Just remember that they're used to being in your tummy with no needs left untended to 24/7 so even if your only holding her half that then that's a huge comprimise on her behalf. But if it's the feeds your worried about then maybe a dummy to tie her over till next one????
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kakapo
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:55pm |
I'm too much of a softie and couldn't let Jimmy cry for very long at that age. We started using a dummy at 4 weeks old, as he ended up being bottle fed and I think he just wanted to suck - not necessarily eat.
We had many issues teaching Jimmy to settle and sleep, and I ended up reading the Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg. She suggests cluster feeding in the late afternoon/early evening (ie every 2 hrs or so) to tank them up for the night ahead - perhaps that's what Chiara's asking for? Did you have a really tiring day and perhaps your milk supply was lower this evening? Our lactation consultant suggested trying to eat the main meal at midday instead of evening, as it helps your body make more BM in the evenings - great in theory right  . Hope you can get her to settle soon.
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Maya
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 10:11pm |
Funny how everyone is different! And seem to do different things with different babies too, I know I did/do! I never let Maya cry, yet I let the gremlins scream. Mind you, it wasn't so much 'letting', as much as just putting up with it coz they screamed regardless of what I did.
Chiara ended up being quiet again til about 8.50pm and then she started up a bit more seriously so I got her up and fed her - what's ten minutes in the grand scheme of things? She had a good feed, a good awake time, was really smiley and happy and then I topped her up and put her over my shoulder for 15 mins to make sure she has no wind. I do wonder if she might have thrush tho and if that could be making her a bit grouchy? Coz I am reasonably sure I have it on my nipples
Kakapo - my older three all cluster fed, Maya breastfed at 4pm and 7pm with a one-side top up t 5.30pm and the gremlins had bottles at 4pm and 7pm with a half a bottle top up at 5.30pm so we tried that with Chiara but she got overtired and harder to settle, she seems to settle better with the whole up, feed, change, feed, down within one hour thing at this stage.
I tried to stuff her as much as I could but she was kind of fussing at the breast by the end so she's gone back to bed.
LOL Mazzy - I let the gremlins get on with it too, they are old enough that it's a learned behaviour, altho I wish they'd unlearn it!
I'm not keen to try a dummy at this stage, I remember spending half my life getting up to put the gremlins ones back in before I gave up on them, but I will give the m/w a call tomorrow and see what her thoughts are on the thrush thing.
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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kakapo
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 10:40pm |
Wow Maya, sounds like you're doing really well with your routine ... that's something I wish I'd instigated from week 1, and will with #2 for sure. Glad to hear Chiara was much happier for her last feed.
If you do have thrush chances are she does too as apparently it can be passed on via BM, even when expressed and fed via bottle (advice from lactation consultant, had received diff advice from my MW and when I phoned Healthline about it they didn't know the answer, so I tried to take a precautionary approach and believe the lactation consultant!). Ouch, not nice for either of you, and so hard to get rid of too . Does she have any white patches in her mouth or have nappy rash?
I agree about using a dummy - at the time it seems like such a good idea, but months later you're left wondering if you'll ever have uninterrupted sleep ever again!
Edited by kakapo
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MissAngel
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Posted: 26 July 2008 at 11:54pm |
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Yep I do, but Matt doesnt. Its annoying.
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yummymummy
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Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:20am |
I never let Gina cry - would pick her up at once and cuddle her. I hate having Emma crying but with her reflux & colic, she has been heaps more unsettled than Gina ever was - sometimes it doesn't matter what I do and she would still cry
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2bmumof3
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Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:08am |
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DD only has a dummy in the evenings when she's bit grump. At 8.30pm she goes to bed awake and goes to sleep for the night without any complaints. She started to suck her hand so we thought it better to use a dummy which can be thrown away.
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Sara
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BugTeeny
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Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:45am |
When Hannah was Chiara's age I didn't like to let her cry. I figured she wasn't crying to be a PITA, she was scared/lonely/wet/hungry/sore, so whatever I could do to comfort her, I did 
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Bizzy
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Posted: 27 July 2008 at 11:25am |
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yeah was going to say too that crying/squawks may not just be cause she is hungry... she may be uncomfortable - too hot perhaps or windy or wet bum.
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Kels
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Posted: 27 July 2008 at 12:09pm |
By the sounds of it with her squawking on and off and then quiet for 10-15mins isnt a real rying episode and she is probably testing you eg, squawk a bit them wait and listen to see if you come then if not try it again lol, babies are so intelligent even at this age.
I never let any of my babies cry too much as this age and it was a big mistake then, they never learnt to self settle or be content to be awake and not held or at the boob.
I say you are onto a winner with what you are doing and you know her and her feeding so well that you know what works and what doesnt.
Fantastic job!!
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Do you let your baby cry?
