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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 28 July 2008 at 8:12pm |
I think sex and all that comes with it, all outcomes both good and bad, need to be discussed, and i like the idea of suggesting to C that abstinence is a good idea,i think it depends on the child tho.
You have some that will listen to you , and some that wont, for eg , i was one of the ones that wouldn't ...
but ahhh *sighs* this thread is bringing back a lot of memories, of the sex ed video we watched at intermediate, the cartoon one , and the boy is on the diving board and sees a pretty girl and SHAWINNGG , *immature giggle *
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emz
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Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 28 July 2008 at 8:29pm |
I didn't see Dr Phil today, but if you do any research on sex education vs abstinence and the levels of teen sex/pregnancy in both cases you will find that the abstinence message does not work as effectively.
That's why in NZ schools sexuality education is now being taught as one of the main focuses of health education: respect for yourself, and your relationships (sexual or otherwise) with others. Sexuality education is not about the best forms of contraception etc (although that comes into it), it is about maing the right informed choices for yourself and those you love, and understanding the impacts of those decisions. The abstinence message is just ridiculous as there are always going to be people that have sex, therefore they need to be informed for when they do make the decision to have sex.
You will never stop kids having sex - but shouldn't we do the best we can to make sure they do it responsibly. I said a while back about in Europe (Switzerland?) they are very open about teen sex and have the lowest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world.
While we would all like our children to remain children forever it is unfortunately not going to happen in this desensitized world so we need to do the best thing which is inform kids. Informing kids does not lead to a greater level of child/teen sex.
Anyway, can you tell I've studied sexuality education lol?
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2bmumof3
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Joined: 23 November 2007
Location: Masterton
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Posted: 28 July 2008 at 8:36pm |
Great post Emz and very true.....but I still just want to hide/protect my kids from having to grow up too fast, unrealistic I know *sighs*
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Sara
Corban (22/11/04)
Connor (18/04/06)
Chelsea (21/05/08)
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 28 July 2008 at 8:40pm |
I always harp on about family planning and this is going to be no exception. ha.
It drives me bonkers that sex education isn't part of the curriculum and schools don't often get the advice of family planning for their 'sexuality education' teaching.
The way they (family planning) approach it is from a sexuality point of view - they teach about the physical, emotional, and moral side of things in what they are now calling 'abstinence plus' (very clever way of branding  ). They teach condom negotiation and tie it into esteem. They encourage acceptance of diversity and educate about 'sexuality' in all its forms. It ain't just the birds and the bees etc.
I'm all for educating Hannah about what goes on... but I would really like her to learn all that goes with it and I'm not sure I'm equipped to pass on all of it being that I model so badly myself (self esteem etc). But I'll do my best to get her to love and respect herself and others so that she can make the best choices.
And here's where I launch into my own story... it just interests me that I started so young (TOO YOUNG!) but it wasn't the early sex that was the bad part... I tried it and thought it was overrated and made my boyfriend wait aaaaaaages until I was ready the next time. The worrying sexual stuff came when I was older (end of high school) where I went through a bit of a self esteem crisis and had issues of trying to get guys interested in me through sex. Didn't work. But just goes to show that it ain't really just about the sex, ya know?
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 28 July 2008 at 9:07pm |
nikkiwhyte wrote:
I'm all for educating Hannah about what goes on... but I would really like her to learn all that goes with it and I'm not sure I'm equipped to pass on all of it being that I model so badly myself (self esteem etc). But I'll do my best to get her to love and respect herself and others so that she can make the best choices.
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See Nikki, thats where i think you WILL be a good teacher for her , I used to think the same with Caitlyn but i now believe that if i "strip my self bare " so to speak and show her that i love and trust her enough to lay all my mistakes on the table , she will respect me more , for proving myself human and admitting i have faults, and for showing her that i have made silly choices and lived with consequences of my actions, than someone who just comes up to her and says "you shouldn't have sex, rubbers dont protect your heart blah blah blah "
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NovemberMum
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Posted: 28 July 2008 at 9:09pm |
I haven't read the whole thread but I do think that teaching young ones that they do have the option to say no to sex. Sure yes condoms are good and I don't know if schools do teach that you can say no and I do believe that they should.
Im not going to say that people shouldn't have sex outside of marriage cause i sure as heck didn't wait till I was married (although I did end up marrying him).
I hope that when my daughter is older i can teach her that she doesn't' have to "give her self" to the first guy she is with but only time will tell.
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mum2paris
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Posted: 29 July 2008 at 12:03am |
I saw bits and pieces. I liked what the guy said near the end about abstinence being the ideal, but that kids needed all the facts and support - i also saw his point of view about things being available thru schools and taking away from the roles of what parents should be teaching their kids.
I really want to try and be there for my girls and be realistic. - you can't pretend and hope it doesn't happen, all you can do is give them the facts, tell them how to be safe/help them be protected, and hope that the choice they make is one that's right for them.
I spose that's probably what most of OUR parents hoped and thought too - I only hope my girls dont' fall for some idiot like i did originally. - by the time i was 17 - i thought i was the oldest virgin alive - so did it just to get it over with. Sad and stupid.
Edited by mum2paris
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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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chonni
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Posted: 29 July 2008 at 9:00am |
i went to wellington girls and my years health teacher didint really teach us sex education she went all shy when she did so she stopd and we had her through out collage, and now most of my year has had more then one baby and we are only 19. i think that it is inportant to teach educatioon to teenagerrs when they start collage coz even some of my class makes where alread having sex at 13 and younger, and a lot of them have a strange idea that having a baby is fun and loving i think they should teach teenagers that babys arnt like that. (alot of people i know are just having sex to get pregnant!!!) sorry dont really know what im talking about didint really read the thread prob
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 29 July 2008 at 10:12am |
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cuppatea
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Posted: 29 July 2008 at 11:58am |
Some girls at my school had babies so they could get a council flat
They should give out those real life doll things to all teenagers as part of sex ed. Or instead of work experience they should all do parent experience like the baby borrowers.
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EnJsmum
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Posted: 04 August 2008 at 9:49pm |
what kind of sex education will they be taught? From what age?
Personally I think (as a teen mum) that if you are going to teach sex ed you need to teach them about them consequences of having sex, like looking after crying babies (who I love very much and wouldn't change) rather than teaching them to cover up and protect themselves... there is no condom or pill that will stop them from getting hurt or making bad choices.
Though there will always be teenagers who do recognise the consequences of their action and choose to go ahead, and manage well.
I think abstinence is the ideal, though as I said I was a teenage mum so it obviously didn't work for me! lol
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gypsynita
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Posted: 05 August 2008 at 7:46am |
cuppatea wrote:
Or instead of work experience they should all do parent experience like the baby borrowers. |
I agree -- right down to the simulated pregnancy!! That put half the baby borrowers off straight away
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Anita
Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10)
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busymum
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Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:25pm |
I think sex education is important but I think sexual awareness starts too young. I think S.E. should primarily be the responsibility of the parents though, comon the schools have so many things to teach and it seems that parents are just doing less and less - even to the point of schools having to feed the kids!
I'm a huge promoter of abstinence until in a secure relationship, in my case I'd say until marriage. I really don't like the idea of the Pill or inj (hormones) in teen's bodies even while they are still finishing puberty etc! If they do choose to be sexually active, I more support condoms but I even said this to my single brother recently: so what if you got a girl pregnant, are you prepared to deal with the consequences?
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