flying solo

Hi Ladies, looks like situations may b changing and i may end up doing this solo. how hard is it? i'm kind of scared about it but also know the flying solo part is possibly essential. how much does daddy keep involved? what should i do?

Sorry to hear about your situation. I have done the flying solo thing a couple times. But I haven't been pregnant at the time.
As for how much the father is involved, that comes down to each individual situation. No one here will be able to tell you how it WILL be.
For me, the father of my kids has always stayed involved and I see him always being involved.
This is something you will both hopefully come to an arrangement you are both happy with.
I wish you all the best, and hope things don't become too stressful for you.

Its obvious you are thinking about this then! A trial seperation could be good. Doesn't sound as permanent.
Where abouts are you from?

I hope you have fun camping! And that you get the time to think about things.
Would it be him having to go, or would it be you?

Sorry to hear things aren't good with you guys Chonny, sending you big (((hugs)))
I hope the trial seperation gives you the space and perspective you need.
Thinking of you xx

Chonny- sorry to hear this, I think you've been wondering about it for a while though?  I agree with the others, that sometimes a trial seperation can really make one or both parties wake up to the great thing they have! Of course there is always the danger that seperating could do the opposite and you guys might figure out you're both much happier on your own... . Of course if that's the case then it's infinitely better for the kids if they grow up with two loving attentive parents rather than 2 fighting ones! Living in different homes shouldn't make a difference IMO.

Good luck babe. Take one day at a time.

doh to me - had a blond moment and thought you were traveling somewhere...!!!!!

i too live in sth auckland so if you need anything, a break, a cuppa, someone to rant to, a space for vincent to play while you rant....???!!! let me know!

Big hugs Chonny! Sorry you are having a tough time of things atm . I was on my own with Maya for nearly 2 years but I was lucky in a way that Willie didn't want anything to do with her (coz he was mad with me) so we didn't have any nasty arguments over access etc. Not that not seeing her dad was a good thing

Natalie (Thunderwolves) in my Oct 06 group is a newly single mummy, she might be able to commiserate with you.

thanks ladies, alia, we probably can't afford the break either, but my parents ahev said he can stay there for a while. really tho, i want him to go down to welly and spend a week or so with his folks getting to know them again etc.

he would need to leave as this is vincent's home. it's not fair on him if we leave. either that or i need access to the hosue during the day as my work is from here.

really do think it's the best thing. and my theory is, if it doesn't improve things, then they were never going to get better anyway and it's best for the kids.

i will never deny him access to his son, and this baby. but for the first couple of weeks, i can't b around at the same time, as that rules out the whole idea of a break. but yea, thigns really nto good, and this is not the first time i have thought about it. just the first time i have truely coinsidered it.

thanks bizzy, pm me and let me know where you live etc

again, thanks for the ideas AND SUPPORT LADIES

thanks mybelly. yea, i never want my kids to go thru the whole not seeing their daddy thing coz mummy mad at him. so i don't wanna take them away from him where he can't see them. and dh not really involved in preggy yet and wasn't too much alst time either. altho this time he has come to both scans so far. shock horror. lol. see what happens i guess. i'm getting the feeling mroe now that it's not going to come as such a surprise to him tho.