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ginger 
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 Topic: When RL friends/family are on OB
Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:26am |
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It's hard when there are things you want to talk about but feel like you can't ... does anyone else with people from their RL on OB find this?
Sucky.
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41
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Peanut
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:37am |
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Have often thought about that so don't often tell really close friends about OB for that reason.
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caraMel
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:38am |
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Yup! Now that I know people (family) in real life could be reading I really feel like I have to hold back on what I say.
The anonymity I had here before was great because I could write about things that I was struggling with or that were bothering me and know that I wouldn't have to talk about them (be interrogated regularly about them) in real life.
So frustrating!
What's creepy, is that they never actually told me they had been reading, and it took me a while to figure out the only place they could have found it was on here!
Of course I know they have every right to be on here and I know when I write that it is there for the whole world to see, it just feels a little invasive anyway for some reason!
Now I wonder what the reaction to this post will be? LOL
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busymum
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:45am |
eek! I have only a couple of friends who know about me on OB and I don't mind them reading what I have to say. But I haven't told my family that I'm on OB - well except for Mr Chovy, cause I kept reading the giggles outloud until he got hooked too  Just means I won't be coming on here and doing a great big rant about him LOL. But actually, I don't mind cause I wasn't ranting about him before he joined anyway. Managed to sort things out properly first.
We've been stuck on a couple of issues and just worded posts (questions) carefully on those topics hehe.
I know from a reliable, but anonymous, source that it is hard to talk about ILs on here when your DH is lurking... fortunately I haven't had any telling offs about my venting of them hehe
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Bizzy
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:56am |
if my husband joined i would leave... 
and having RL friends on here does make it hard. for instance when i announced i was pregnant on here i then realised i had to tell RL friends too in case they heard from the people on here that we both knew... and one RL "friend" had a hard time accepting that i had - in her words - told a bunch of strangers first.
i have other borads that i use for that very reason. i love the anonymity of a board too.
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MummyFreckle
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:59am |
I havent told any of my friends or family about it.....its my little secret!! But they know I belong to an "online coffee group" as we call it in our house! I dont really think that any of my ILs or friends would be into it, but dont want to take the risk. Thats one of the things that I love - I can be myself and not worry about offending anyone I know with concerns or grizzles.
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my2angels
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:13pm |
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yeah i would hate it, thats the reason Im a bit vague about it for that reason. I always just say 'a forum i go on sometimes'
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caliandjack
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:14pm |
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Funny cause I often refer to ob as 'someone was saying' when talking to RL friends. I don't tell them the source of my info is from an online forum. I'm curious though do you not think of people on here as your friends?
I guess I always remember than anyone can read what you are posting - so try to keep things polite - even if i'm saying something negative.
Edited by fleury
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  [/url] Angel June 2012
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Peace
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 12:47pm |
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I am constantly followed around online by family and friends (Hi BTW!!!) and I am very conscious of the fact that there is a only a limited amount of things I can say and do. For this reason alone I have other identities on my forums so I can ask the hard questions or look for answers even have a down to earth conversation. Admittedly I am not the best person in the world when it comes to discretion of my own life and I am sure there are a few people that have connected the dots. I am impressed to say the least that no one has ratted me out, makes me really proud that my friends and family if they do know my alternate nicks have some respect and I appreciate that.
I really appreciate my offline support though, if it wasn't for the large group of people that are cheering me on in all my pursuits whether it be offline, online or to their tastings. I don't think I would be much of a person at all.
Love for my lurkers xxxxx
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Paws
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 1:00pm |
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No I don't have any issues at (Hi Red! Hi Deb!!) but I tend to go the opposite way, I've talked to them about stuff that I haven't talked about on here.
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jaz
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 1:11pm |
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I'm lucky that the RL friends that have young kids are also the friends I can vent to about other stuff.
Edited by jaz
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Maya
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 1:29pm |
I don't have any RL friends
JK! Most of my RL friends know of OB mainly as "the place I work" but most of them don't have young kids so it's not really their thing. But there are a couple of people here that I've known since way before OB (gandt and jaz) and quite a few that I've met thru here but consider friends IRL as we see each other regularly, text/phone each other etc.
I must admit I'm really glad that Willie is techologically illiterate coz I'd feel a bit weird him reading some of the stuff on here. Not that there's anything I haven't told him, more that I think everyone needs somewhere outside their relationship to vent, for him it's the boys at work, for me it's OB.
One thing I do find a wee bit sticky is that because I know a lot of people here fairly well now either online or IRL, when I have to make moderating decisions sometimes I think "am I just doing this because I know so-and-so" etc. or when I know more of the background behind a situation but can't say. That's where Katherine is marvellous, she keeps that cheeky Gandt in line
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 1:35pm |
lol Emma!  Well I have had issues with this (long story short, appparently someone reading stuff on here and threatening to tell my ILs and DH that I moaned about them!) and it totally freaked me out at the time, but now it doesnt really bother me. Who doesnt moan about there ILs and there husband doing no housework!
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Aimee
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caliandjack
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 1:50pm |
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That is a bit rude Aimee, its like evesdropping on a telephone conversation.
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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Andie
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 3:20pm |
Oooh I remember that Aimee, that was a shocker of a situation (but you handled it with such style!). I tell my real-life friends about this site... some of them have babies too and were bound to stumble across me here anyway, so I just told them about my little habit - I don't say stuff on here that I wouldn't talk to my friends about anyway. There's stuff I talk to IRL friends about that I'd never mention here as well - like women's problems, etc, and nothing is sacred with my mates, but I sure as hell don't want to say it here because I don't want any men reading it - that weirds me out. But occasionally I'd love to have a massive rant about my family and I hold myself back, because you never know who might be lurking (and before you say - Andie, we've heard you rant plenty already you liar!... that's been me holding back still!).
I like that some of the people I know IRL are on here - makes my geekiness less geeky, and there's people on here who started off as faceless nameless nick-names with tickers and opinions and advice, who I now consider friends, so I don't want to draw a line between IRL mates and ones on here 
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Glow
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 3:20pm |
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Mummy of Two Boys
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Aprilfools
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 3:26pm |
 Do people really follow others around online? How weird. Like you said Fleury it's like eavesdropping on a conversation or being stalked. That's so creepy. The way I look at these forums is that it's kind of like group therapy and what is said in the walls of the forum stays there. Not that I know any of you personally anyway.
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caliandjack
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 3:36pm |
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I do sometimes feel like a stalker, as I follow the ladies I've met on NZWP with their preggy/baby journeys.
There are a lot of ex and current NZWP members on here. And us 08 brides to be, talk about a lot more than just weddings.
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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Glow
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 3:46pm |
just like the real world aye
jealousy, lies, clicky-ness, negativity, love, freedom, happiness- "EMO's like elmos" atleast you cant see expressions so they shouldn't hurt eh!!
sticks & stones WILL break your bones BUT names/words shall NEVER hurt you!!
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Mummy of Two Boys
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caliandjack
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Posted: 03 September 2007 at 3:54pm |
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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When RL friends/family are on OB
Glow wrote: