Hey there Paws..
Fistly, stick at it, returning back to work is hard - and actually i think it's far harder on everyone when you go back when baby is actually old enough to remember that you aren't there - sounds mean but so true.
I went through the same thing alot back when i was studying - firstly Paris went through it - only wanting daddy, then when ayja went through it it still hurt but at least i knew (hoped like hell) it would pass.
practicalities of family life with shift work - lol can't speak for your own circumstances but i know that for me - daycare during the day for the girls, means that morning shifts are great for me - it takes them a while to settle when they first start going (am unsure if your girl has jsut started of has been going for a while)
I found especially that Paris when she started at 11 months, was terrible having been used to having just mummy and her for alot of the time during her 1st year. that and they've just learnt the idea of mummy going away, they just have to remember at the end that mummy does come back.
As with anything it takes a bit for some kids to adjust, Paris doesn't do so well, Ayja does really quite well comparitively.
Back to shifts.... CAn again only speak for myself, however, being on a rostered rotating shifts between mornings afternoons and graveyard shifts, no set pattern either and sometimes different shifts in a week period...... i must say stick with what you're doing.
Morning shift, might mean earlier starts, but at the end of the day you get to have a night with your child, do the bathtimes, bedtimes, dinner times. And yes she's little now, but very soon, as she gets older - even within a few months as things change, night times and such become that special time for stories etc..bonding and it's nice to be able to tuck your little one in at night... That is one thing i miss most.
Afternoon shifts for me start at 2.45 and end somewhere around 11.30pm most nights.. being on them in long stretches. it sucks. because well, realistically, i thought yes i'd be able to keep em home more too, but you get way overtired, you need to catch up on sleep from working so late, the time you have isn't quality time as you're tired and you know the days' going to get cut short. It also means for us, since then, that the kids still go to daycare, so i see em in the mornings, and that's all, i get home close to midnight some nights. afternoons aren't nice.
The main thing there also, is yes you want time with your girl, but afternoon shifts are really very very crappy for the relationship side of things, trust me, lol, you never see DH and when you do they're either rushing to work, or grumpy cos they're tired from waiting up for you, or tired cos they had to do the dinner/bath/bed routine themselves, that and it leaves precious little time for any hint of intelligent conversation, romance goes out the nearest window.. you get the picture, it's not great, it's like ships passing in the night.
Overnights, again, really does not mean you would get more time with your girl, plus it buggers your system big time, i am unfortunate enough to have my night shifts rostered usually (in the last 2 months anyway) around when AF is due, and those times it had thrown out my cycle, last time was 9 days overdue i think.
Night shifts are, however, great once kiddies are at school, so you can still take em to school, go home, sleep, then be there to pick em up and do dinner etc - they don't notice you're gone cos you're at work while they sleep - but with a toddler - you need that sleep, and theonly way to get it is during the day.. again - it's a different quality of sleep too - not good long term unless you plan to do it, loooong term and adjust your whole life to fit in with your vampire-like lifestyle, lol.
Hope that helps a little. It's not all bad, just giving a few realities of how i have found different shifts have impacted on our family-life and those i know (my nursing colleagues with young kiddies) tend to have the same opinions, it's hard not being there during the day, but as our kids get older, the stuff they miss themost is having a family meal, and having mummy there to tuck them in at night.
It’s sodding hard being a working mum!
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to you and Maddie.
busymum wrote:
)...but it's certainly something we'll look into.
