the role of the stay at home mum/wife

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and so wanted other peoples thoughts. I am of the belief that my role is main caregiver to Alex and I do most (well pretty much all) of the housework and all of that. When he working (he is a shiftworker) tea is on the table when he gets home and I try to avoid having him to do much cos he does long hours and is pretty tired when working. DH and I both do the grocery shop and dishes after meals. Plus DH does a lot of cooking dinner's as he enjoys doing it.

yeah you do well............when hubby gets home i do dinner and he looks after junior...play,bath, feed shower bed.........i try and clean but my hypo kid decides messy is best grrrrrrrr hubby also does on call work and random shifts but when he is home he takes care of the kids as i think the kids need it..although he wishes he didnt have too....... he had a part on making the baby so he needs to look after them he is slowely seeing its not all sparkly :) ................the original plan for us was that he stayed home and i went to work but due to me and baby being sik it didnt work...asked him with number 2 and he said not on your life.......he finds it more demanding at home then at work.....he said at least he gets to sit down haha try being pregs at the same time sweet heart

McPloppy...............we still have arguments but i keep telling him that if i wanted to be a solo mum then i would and if he isnt happy then get out...........he moans , i give him the eye, and then he is sweet hahaha im a cow.........hubby has always done the nights when i BF he got up changed baby and gave baby to me.........Ty wont let me put him down at night if dad isnt there so when he isnt he claims into bed with me and we watch cartoons, usually tinkerbell for the 20th time.........if he falls asleep bonus obviously the night time routine is gonna be mine when #2 arrives cause Ty wakes at 6.30am without fail

DH is our fulltime parent.

His role is to look after Isabelle .. and he does the washing and keeps the house reasonably clean and tidy.

He usually makes dinner as well ... or at least dinner for Isabelle.

I earn the money and go and purchase the bacon from the supermarket lol

Wow McPloppy, I am in the same boat as you. DH is a shift worker and is not always home in the evenings (3/5 weeks I think) So that means I have to do pretty much everything. He does do the dishes and hang out the washing before he goes to work.

At the moment he gets up to Jackson on one of his days off, so we both get at least one sleep in a week. That has not always been the way, its more of a recent "development".

On the nights that he IS home, he will do the dishes and the vacuming, while I feed the kids, bath/shower them, and put them to bed. I do all the cooking (although he will cook some sausages on the BBQ)
He will also hang out the washing or fold it, and bring it in. He really is pretty good actually when it comes to housework. But when it comes to the kids, they are "my job". I think he has bathed Jackson maybe twice in 9 months.

Before reading anyone elses:

Grant works outside of the home and in a traditional sense I suppose to the more supposedly "manly things". Not that he is sexist at all this is just how it worked out as such. He does the lawns (refuses that I touch the lawnmower as he feels it is too dangerous), look after cars, garden, Take trash out mostly ect.

I do the washing, ironing, cooking, most of the cleaning, dishes, packing away ect. So to some this seems really sexist. I dont mind doing any of this but the day it will stop is when he comes home and he starts demanding these things.

I just feel he works really really had. Sometimes he comes home and after M is in bed continue to work. He is always there when I need him, Dont deny me anything. I make his lunch for him to work ect.

However when it is exam times, or I am ill or like now that I am pregnant he will do dishes without me asking. Get me a bath and tell me to relax. Or take the vacuum out of my hands and do the cleaning. He mostly use to bath McKayla and do some of the nighttime routine for me. He is there when I go to Playcentre meetings and will clean up for me that night.

So although we sort of have traditional roles we help each other out. He usually get the laundry off if I did washing over a weekend and will glady iron anything except pants. Some nights he come home and just give me a look and tells me to sit down and gets me a cup of tea.

So from the outside it might look really sexist ect but that is now how the two of us see it. Just as long as the 2 of you are happy in the relationship and isnt too scared to ask the other one for help then I cant see it being a problem. (btw I am the one doing the finances and transferring cash ect)

Teeheehee

I think she meant you would want to keep the lights on .. (being that he is easy on the eye)

His cooking isnt that hot though .. he is getting better mind you ..

McPloppy in the heat of the moment Ive said the same thing to SD ..

Because I do all the finances he doesnt really have a clue about the money side of things .. so I tend to get frustrated when he just spends our money on crap we dont need.

We talked though .. and I understand how stressful it is running a house and bringing up a child and he now knows how stressful it is for me to try and provide financial support for a family.

So we are getting there

We are pretty similar in this house. Weekdays I am in charge of looking after DS, including all his meals and if he needs a bottle at night. DH will get up to help resettle though if needed.

I also do a load of laundry most days, and keep on top of the basic housework. DH will help fold & put things away in the evenings.

When he gets home, DS is handed over for a bit of daddy play, and then he does the bath / book / milk / bed routine whilst I get dinner sorted. He washes up / stacks dishwasher. I also walk the dog every day.

Weekends we tend to swap - he does dog walk and dinner, and i do the bath and clean up. if any housework needs to be done on the weekend we tend to share. We also get one lie in each a weekend, where the other gets up for the early shift.

At the moment, DS is in a great routine so I do get some downtime during thy day when he naps. Will be interesting to see what happens when #2 arrives!

I don't drive either McPloppy.
My job = housework and child.
When hes home = whatever I ask him to do :P But specifically bath time and dishes.
He doesn't moan, he's jealous though, he'd love to be a SAHD :)