I need advice *warning huge rant follows*

I’m sorry in advance for what is going to be a long rant.  I am absolutely livid!

 

A bit of background for those that don’t know the situation:  DH and I rent a nice 3 bdrm house which has a granny flat downstairs.  Last year when FIL died and our granny flat was vacant we invited MIL to move in with us.  I am the head tenant, my name is on the tenancy agreement which basically means nothing except if there’s any trouble it’s my responsibility and will go against my name (never been an issue before and I don’t intend to get into any trouble in future either).

 

My issue is that MIL throws food scraps directly onto the front lawn and when I say food scraps I don’t mean just bread I mean everything: leftover schnitzel, uneaten chinese sitrfry, meat pies, cooked vegetables, cakes and slices….everything!

 

I’ve asked her not to several times.  I’ve told her that if she wants to put bread out to the birds then I am happy to take it down to the ducks or to the traffic island at the bottom of our street but I don’t want food scraps on the lawn (especially not meat and vegetables and other things births won’t even eat).  She agreed when I asked her to stop but she continues doing it anyway and DH overheard her bitching about me to one of her kids for telling her not to throw food on the lawn.  I’ve asked her a couple of time to stop putting food out and she agrees not to then ignores me and does what she wants.  She is going a bit deaf but I also think she plays on it and the fact that she is DH’s mum and maybe thinks that entitles her to...... something – I don’t know.

 

This morning when I opened my curtains I saw what looked like a piece of polystyrene on my lawn (about the size of a 3 litre icecream container).  When I was leaving for work I took a closer look and saw a large molding wedding cake in the middle of the front lawn, near the driveway where guests enter our property.  If you look at the lawn directly in front of her granny flat there's about 1.5 sq metres of her food scraps lying about.

 

I am ropable!  I think it’s so disgusting that she throws food onto the lawn, especially the front lawn where all and sundry can see it.  I think she’s inviting rodents and other pests onto our property (over the past couple of month a magpie has started hanging around and those little buggers freak me out with their sharp beaks plus I watched David Attenborough last night, did you know that common female house mice can start breeding at 5wks old and have a litter of 8-12 babies every 4 weeks for the rest of their lives).

 

She may see it as harmlessly just throwing food “out for the birds” I see it as disgusting, I think she is throwing rubbish on the lawn and therefore in breach of our tenancy agreement (which states that we have to maintain the grounds and keep them tidy).  And anyway, since when did birds like schnitzel and leftover chinese takeaways?

 

I will be having some very strong words with MIL this afternoon but I have no idea how to get through to her because she has completely ignored me every single time I have raised the issue. 

 

She doesn’t have her own bin but she’s always been welcome to use ours, we pay for the council rubbish bags and DH puts it out every week.  It appears she is only using the bin for packaging and all food goods she doesn’t want goes on the lawn (and seriously there is a lot, it’s more or less every night that she throws her food rubbish on the lawn).  If she wants a compost bin there are heaps of places she can put it, I even thought about buying her one (maybe for her birthday next week) but I don’t see why I should.  Also, as I’ve offered several times already, I’m more than happy to take her bread scraps to the ducks, Michaela would love that – although TBH it’s not the bread that annoys me so much, it’s all the other rubbish.

 

I really don’t know how to get through to her.  I’ve looked through my tenancy agreement and on the DBH website to see if they have anything that relates but the closest they get is that it’s “the tenants responsibility to keep the property reasonably clean and tidy” – I guess not throwing rubbish on your front lawn is an assumed given.

 

How do I get it through to her?  I’m so close to using a spade to pick up all the food scraps and place them on her doorstep but not only is that petty it doesn’t get rid of the problem, it just moves it.

 

GAH!!!!!

Oh Jo
I don't really have any advice, I'm afraid, but I hope you can get through to her.

That's really bizarre behaviour, I have to say.
Can DH say anything to her? Especially if you've tried several times to no avail!

And where did she get a wedding cake from?!?

OMG! I don't really know what to say except that I feel for you.

Can you tell her that the landlord has given you a warning and that if she continues you could all be homeless and she would be on her own to find another place?

Good luck

OMG, that is DISGUSTING!!!!

But like the others I really have no idea what to suggest as all I can really think of is talking to her (which you've done), or getting your DH to (which you've also done).

TBH I think you're just going to have to have it out with her and very firmly tell her that you do not want her throwing food of any kind on the lawn. Firstly it is not food that birds will eat, secondly it is not healthy for your child to be outside amongst food scraps, third it WILL attract rodents, and fourth it just must look blimmin awful.

I can totally understand why you are upset, I can't understand why she would think that it is an appropriate thing to do

Oh dear.

Could you get her a compost bin with worms and tell her its for her use? Or does she just like to "Feed the birds"?

And I know this is very naughty but could you type up a "pretend" letter from your landlord, which says that they have had complaints about the lawn? Then show her?

Aaargh! I don't really have any advice but wanted to say you are not being unreasonable, that's filthy, and my immediate reaction was that it would attract rats etc (especially when it's this hot they're out and about looking for food more often anyway).

If you're inclined to take a deep breath and ignore it the compost bin present is a nice way of going about it (although sounds like she's the type that would then bitch that you got her a compost bin for her birthday as a way of getting at her about the food scraps... you can't win!). I suppose you can't have any pets as part of your tenancy agreement? cos a dog would clear that problem right up (or so would a pig, and they make great pets)...

Your'e right Jo , that is disgusting , ive never heard of throwing food scraps on the front lawn .

Put on your gloves , gather up the rubbish and go and dump it on her living room floor, ha ! tell her you don't like it on your property anymore than she likes it on her floor
As for DH , nows a good time to play the pregnancy card, break down in tears (shouldnt be too hard anyway , you prob have enough tears of frustration ) and tell him you can't take the mess on the lawns anymore and something has to be done .

As for her having a dig about Michaela, you just wait there, i'll come round and deal to the old dear *rolls up sleeves *

Omg you poor thing, I would be ropeable as well! Like a couple of others suggested, I would just lie and say that the landlord has said something about it - hopefully with the threat of the landlord doing something she might stop it? God that's just so gross

Buy her her very own bin and put it on the flats doorstep. Then get some rat and mouse traps and put them around the place - if she says anything tell her that because there is an available food source you now have rodents.

weegee wrote: Flutterby wrote: get some rat and mouse traps and put them around the place Excellent idea! Put them out right where she can see them! Gosh we're all a bit passive aggressive aren't we

I can't do the "passive" part ..