| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
MissCandice 
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 2007
Location: Christchurch
Points: 3836
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Topic: Is money everything?
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 8:57pm |
|
So, would what your partner earns be a deciding factor in a future for you together? Does that even make sense?
To me money is nothing, i would rather be happy than rich.
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
BeLoved
Senior Member
Joined: 24 April 2008
Location: Sth Island
Points: 1207
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:01pm |
|
When I was little I always wanted to be poor when we played pretend (my sisters hated it!) and for me what my DH earned was never a factor in our future together.
Personally most people I know with lots of money are the unhappier ones in comparison to the ones who don't have much.
I agree I would rather be happy and healthy than rich!
|
|
lilfatty
Senior Member
Joined: 22 August 2007
Location: Waitakere
Points: 9799
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:17pm |
My first husband earned much more money than my second (who earns nothing, being a Dad and Student) lol, so no, to me money means nothing ... looks do 
(That was a joke for all the pc police) - well a half joke, he is pretty good looking 
|
Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
|
|
minik8e
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
Points: 5838
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:42pm |
|
Money isn't everything, but it does help, although I wouldn't use it as a decider in whether to start a relationship - my ex was on ACC and I supported him financially from day one (in hindsight, not the best decision in the world!). It didn't stop me starting a relationship with him.
I would rather be poor and happy, than rich and unhappy.
|
|
AandCsmum
Senior Member
Joined: 13 May 2008
Location: Palmerston North
Points: 8432
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:47pm |
|
No, but enough to cover the bills & not stress about price rises would be nice.
I picked my DH cause like lilfatty...he's hot...& he had a crap job back then.
|
Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
|
|
FreeSpirit
Senior Member
Joined: 23 November 2008
Points: 1256
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:54pm |
|
I'd rather have love then anything else. I'd rather be cash poor and have the people I love around!
|
|
|
|
lizzle
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 8346
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:57pm |
|
um, yes and no. I don't think money is that important. IN that, My husband could have had a job where he earned a heap more money, but I encouraged him to apply for the job he has now - not as much cash but he LOVES it. Same as me, i could have a job that would earn me heaps, but am happy doin g what I do.
in saying that, i don't think I could be with someone who had no job.
|
|
Aquarius
Senior Member
Joined: 05 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1285
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 10:06pm |
|
i would have to agree with you all....
sure we are broke all the time and would love nicer things and money to save but the reality is the rent is payed we have power, food and warmth(essentials)plus have internet and mysky(treats) and we are happy, together and still in love.
whenever i feel bummed about our living week-to-week situation, i think of people not making it week-to-week...at lest we do, alot dont!!
|
mum to mr 16 & mr 10
|
|
fattartsrock
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 6441
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 10:14pm |
|
I'll be honest and say yes.
O f course there are alot of other deciding factors, but if in the long term he couldn't provide for us, and we couldn't be financially stable, if it was always going to be a case of having nothing, ever, then I'd seriously reconsider. I got brought up in a home with no money at all. Debt collectors always bangingon the door, phone being off, fgood parcels etc etc. Not by choic,e my dad go t sick when I was a teenager and mum had to work really hard at a sh*tty job to provide, but man, did we ever miss out on so much, and Im not just alking about designer t shirts here. Im talking no school today cos there is nothing for lunch.
They got into that situation for a variety of reasons, not lest of all dad being sick, the main one being poor money management/skills/job prospects.
at 58 we (my husband and I) are supporting my mum (my stinck brothers won't help) because of poor money skills/management/job prospects etc. As in we pay her rent and often feed her as well.
So yeah, if it meant living like that or bringing up my kids like that, I would walk away and never look back,i wouldn't wish that upbringing on my worst enemy.
|
|
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
|
|
flakesitchyfeet
Senior Member
Joined: 23 March 2008
Location: A cute wee place in the SI
Points: 1564
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 10:29pm |
|
Money not so much, a strong sense of family roles, and providing for the family, moreso. I like that my husband believes in traditional family roles because our goals and purpose align. His work ethic is strong, so I knew he would be capable of bringing in enough for us to live, and yeah....you gotta live!
edited to add:
Of course....we starting dating in our early teen years....I guess I got lucky!
Edited by Flake
|
  http://eggsineachbasket.blogspot.com/
|
|
kiwisj
Senior Member
Joined: 02 June 2008
Points: 2434
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 November 2009 at 11:19pm |
|
For me, money is not a deciding factor but ambition/drive is. I'm not interested in someone who thinks bludging off me (or someone else) is an acceptable way to live their life. We're lucky coz DH's job brings in enough $$ for me not to work. If it didn't we would change our lifestyle so I would still be able to stay home with the kids. So in that sense, no $$ is not important. But you still need to be able to live!
|
|
SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
|
|
Hopes
Senior Member
Joined: 06 August 2008
Location: Waikato
Points: 4495
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 7:31am |
Money doesn't mean a thing - I married DH when he was a student Actually, he still is. Although he gets paid to study now. I was more than happy to be the wage-earner while he wasn't.
At the same time, like so many others have mentioned, things like work ethic and responsibility are really really important. DH has those in bundles.
|
|
|
|
Snappy
Senior Member
Joined: 27 August 2007
Location: lower hutt
Points: 2493
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 7:35am |
|
I met DH at the end of sixth form so I had no idea what he would be when he grew up lol.
Like Lilfatty - DH was hot and we were happy.
|
|
Babe
Senior Member
Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 8:40am |
Its definitely a deciding factor for me. Like fattartsrock during my teenage years mainly we were dirtpoor and I hated it. The stress was enormous and theres no way I'd go through that again. Of course drive and good money management abilities are included in that deciding factor.
Luckily DP is on a fairly good wage - we have enough to pay the bills, eat well and do things we enjoy. He has the potential to earn alot more specially if we moved but its not about him earning as much money as possible just about earning enough money so we don't have to stress too much unless we choose too (like ATM )...
|
|
|
|
ohanlon82
Senior Member
Joined: 09 April 2008
Location: Auckland
Points: 2677
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 9:03am |
I am the same as lilfatty... DH is pretty easy on the eye 
Also DH and i started going out at school he had a partime job but to be honest i had no clue on what he was going to do with his life.. As it turns out he has done alot - he says alot to do with having a great supportive wife LOL
(DH words not mine i promise)
Money is not everything but it does help.. Enough to pay the bills and bit left over is great
|
|
http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg
|
|
surfergirl
Senior Member
Joined: 27 July 2007
Location: Christchurch
Points: 631
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 10:17am |
It's not EVERYTHING, but it sure helps.
So many people argue because of a lack of money (or poor management of the money they have). I'm lucky that I've always made good money, so it hasn't been a deciding factor in relationships for me, but in saying that 'bludgers' would not make it past the front door. I find ambition and drive (which in a roundabout way often leads to financial sucess) VERY sexy in a man!
|
|
|
|
GuestGuest
Senior Member
Joined: 21 April 2008
Points: 3600
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 10:56am |
|
Yes, money is an important factor, however if he doesn't have money right now he would definitely need ambition. To me ambition is the most attractive thing in a man, I would never be with someone who just settles for a low paying dead end job because to me that means that they are unmotivated in life. eg. I would never marry a rubbish collector even if he was the nicest, most attractive man on earth because he has no drive to better himself.
|
|
caliandjack
Senior Member
Joined: 10 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 12487
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:02am |
I'd say yes it does matter, being without it sucks. Its not so much the amount you earn but the way you go about it, I work and I expect DH to as well.
Oh and I'm with lilfatty, looks count, I've had a rich BF before Dh but he was ugly. Got a be with someone I can wake up to in the morning.
The uniform has some appeal too . The military does offer some perks and security of employment but the pay sucks compared to the real world.
Edited by mrsg1
|
  [/url] Angel June 2012
|
|
emz
Senior Member
Joined: 25 November 2006
Location: Christchurch
Points: 5321
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:05am |
|
It wouldn't be the deciding factor, but it would be one of them.
I hate not having any money but that's because we have 2 young children. We have a lot of ambition and in say 5 years time we'll be quite well off. Part of what attracted me to DH was knowing he had a career already (plus like the others said, he was hot lol)
I grew up pretty poor due to my dad having a major accident. Mum didn't give up on him, she went out and work 70+ hours a week when I was younger to strive for more, and now they're very well off. So, no I don't think its everything, but it sure helps and there'd be a lot less stress in our lives if we had a bit more money (which there will be next year when I return to the workforce).
I wouldn't date a bludger either surfergirl - I think its easy to spot people with no ambition a mile away.
|
|
Hopes
Senior Member
Joined: 06 August 2008
Location: Waikato
Points: 4495
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:12am |
Wow  I guess we're all different. I'd happily marry a rubbish collector, if he was happy in his job, and if together we could afford to live off our incomes.
At the same time, I wouldn't marry either a rubbish collector or a top-flight CEO if he was liable to drink/gamble/otherwise waste whatever money he did bring in.
I'd probably be more likely to marry a garbage man who was happy in his job and careful with what he had, and end up poorish, than marry a CEO who was out all hours, too busy with his work to spend time with his family and liable to cheat on me with his PA  , and end up rich (not that all rubbish men or CEOs fit those stereotypes at all!)
To be fair, I don't imagine either a garbage man or a CEO would have the kind of personality that suited me, although I guess it's possible...
Money is a huge stressor in relationships, and I'm very keen to have enough to live on... but I guess definitions of 'enough to live on' vary.
ETA that that's only my opinion, LittleSal, your also makes total sense - I wouldn't like to hurt your feelings, because you're a lovely person 
Edited by Hopes
|
|
|
|
Is money everything?
