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julz85 
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 Topic: waking 10 times at 8 moths old ... HELP!!
Posted: 12 March 2010 at 1:05pm |
There probably a sleep forrum somewhere here but i couldnt find it so thought id post here ,
My daughter Amelia will be 8months old tomorow , she has never once slept through the night and 4 times ever she has only woken once and these have been complete flukes , Wed night i counted 7 times awake between bedtime at 8pm and 3.30am and last night i lost count after about the 10th time up , she never self settles and im up for over an hour at a time with her some nights, since she was born i have not slept for a block of more than 5 hours (and 5hours is very rare- it ussualy 2 or 3 at the most ) in a row . Im starting to go slightly mental through sleep deprivation and was wondering if anyone had any tips , now i know im doing a few things wrong , at the moment i feed her to sleep (breastfeed) its gotton so bad now that she will only settle when shes on the boob and she simply wont go to sleep if shes not fed to sleep , i know this is probably the main problem but i have no idea how to fix this as she will just cry and cry and cry and i have a partner who has to get up early for work so i cant have her cry ALL night , any tips would be fantastic , id rfeally apreciate it , i was just about i tears last night at 4am when i just wanted a bit of sleep. 
Edited by julz
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lilfatty
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 1:21pm |
First of all ... 
Elias still wakes .. we have a nursing chair in his room and DH will rock him back to sleep basically because we dont want him to wake up Isabelle and I get up early to go to work, so we cant have him screaming down the house. 
You might want to try getting your DH to go and settle her, she might get used to going back to sleep without milk if its him (get him to do Fri/Sat at least).
When I was the "main caregiver" my husband would get up to the kids on a Saturday night .. so that I had one entire night where I could sleep ... it was bliss.  you could try that .. at least you would get a block of sleep!
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julz85
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 1:34pm |
thanks for that Julia (just saw we have the same name )
my partner isnt Amelias dad altho hes closest thing to it and we have been together since amelia was just few months old so shes very comfortable with him and he is amazing with her but i just feel because hes not her dad that maybe i shouldnt put any responsibility on him to do with her in the middle of the night , he would help if i asked , i just suppose because i thought it was a breeastfeeding issue (she wont sleep without being fed to sleep) that maybe i could just do it all myself . he has been up in the night occasionaly to pick her up when shes crying but she just gets hysterical when its not me picking her up . in saying that she has to get use to other people and i start back at work in may so shes going to have to get use to me not being around all the time
I just spoke to plunket who gave me a few tips , ill have to try them out
Edited by julz
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rachndean
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 1:51pm |
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Have you tried white noise? We used to play a CD through the night with DS, and he slept really well with it. We stopped not long ago. Am about to start with DD2, as the 5 minutes of lullaby that her seahorse plays isnt cutting it anymore!! There are heaps of sites to download free tracks from.
www.thesleepstore.co.nz is a wealth of knowledge, you could have a look there?
Good luck, sending lots of sleepy baby vibes your way!!
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DD Savannah 18.01.04
DS Austin 04.09.08
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julz85
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 1:53pm |
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thanks for that ... yup i have been using white noise since Amelia was a newborn as i live in a small house and noise carries easily so i use it to drown out other noises like the tv and talking in the lounge. white noise is fantastic!
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mumtooboys
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 2:04pm |
Elizabeth Pantley and her No Cry Sleep Solution saved our lives. LOL I am not big on the leaving them to cry, though it was the method employed with DS1 because I thought it was the only way to go. If you click on her name, it links you to an excerpt from the book about sleep associations (in this case feeding to sleep) and how to try and move away from it. If you can get a copy of the book it will probably go into greater detail (plus it's a great read), I borrowed my copy from the local library.
I started night weaning DS2 at 9 months (he did a 3 week stint of 10+ hours at 7 months before he started waking again) and the process was 'complete' at 11 months; but then he stopped sleeping altogether and I didn't have the 'back-up' of feeding him back to sleep.  For me it was just 'easier' to feed him and us all be back in bed in under 10 minutes than 'fight' with him and refuse to feed him; thus why I night weaned him gently and if it hadn't have worked we would have just carried on as we had been. I just want to add that if it feels right for you, it's never the wrong thing. I had so many people tell me we were in for a nightmare by having DS2 in bed with us and feeding/rocking to sleep.....but it felt right for us and none of that stuff was ever an issue, he stopped on his own when he was ready.
Good luck! DS2 was a 3 hourly feeder/waker from birth till about 7 months, did 10+ hours for 3 weeks and then sleeping got gradually worse before 8 weeks of sheer hell where we were getting 5 very broken hours of sleep in every 24. Will she go down any earlier? Apparently babies/toddlers benefit from being in bed by 6:30pm at the latest, otherwise they tend to get over tired, thus it is harder for them not only to get to sleep but to stay asleep. That was the ONLY thing we changed when DS2 stopped sleeping and he started sleeping through from that night on.
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.Mel
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 2:07pm |
Gosh 10 times is alot of wake ups....
I would be looking at her surroundings... is she too hot/cold?
Is she wrapped?
Is she getting tangled in the blankets?
Does she have a dummy or blankey that she is losing during the night?
I would recommend the "no cry Sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley - she has some fantastic tips and ideas on how to get baby to settle and sleep thru the night. Check out her website too because she does give some tips on there.
Hopefully this link will work
Sleep baby Sleep!
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julz85
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 2:26pm |
Fantatsic , thankyou both , i will have a look into this woman and her sleep solutions .
Mel- i put her in a safeTsleep now (i use to swaddle her up until she was 7 months) , i dont think shes too hot or cold ( she always feels fine) , she has never had a dummy or comfort blankie, she is just a stubborn wee maddam who likes the boobie lol .
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nannyabbey
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 3:18pm |
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eeeck! poor you!
You might find that there is a little hard work ahead of you but it will all work out in the end.
may I suggest you buy your partner some earplugs??
Sadly it is us who teach our kids how to sleep.........and we teach them where our boundaries are. So if you feed them to sleep or rock them to sleep they will expect that boundary to be there whenever they want it. Some parents are okay with this, but it sounds like its becoming a bit too much for you! And it might take some 'tough love' to reset where your night time boundaries are. Offering water instead of milk, not picking up baby out of the cot but patting the back and shhhhing instead. And earplugs......
If you do decide to 'sleep train' (which i'm sure there is a whole load of info on the net.....maybe try supernanny web page?) you'll need to make sure you have 'room' in your life for the possibilities of some unsettled nights, and be prepared for a little heart renching!
Physically you 8 month old is capable of sleeping through the night but it might take a week of Amelia protesting about the change of boundaries before she settles. Just remember she is safe and okay, and that you are the big person in charge during all of this!
Sorry, i sound very teacher like dont I! Its the nanny in me coming out
Good luck!!! deep breathes!!! you can do it!!!!
Edited by nannyabbey
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SpecialK
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 3:44pm |
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What are her day sleeps like? Does she settle ok for them?
Does she have a set bedtime routine?
For us, giving water in the night instead of milk never worked as usually he was genuinely hungry... how is Amelia's solids intake? Does she feed well during the day?
And maybe try a dummy
Sorry, not much help! But it must be so exhausting for you, really hope she starts sleeping!
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Emmecat
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 5:14pm |
Just wanted to send you a ((hug)) soc Clodagh is STILL doing this...altho probably not 10 times a night but at least 3-4 and ALWAYS twice. I rarely get more than 3 hours in a row Am thinking of night weaning her or at least trying some FF for her midnight feed in the hope it carries her thru a little longer and or gives my poor nipples a rest 
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nannyabbey
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 6:09pm |
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http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-baby/-/Baby-care/Settle-Your-Baby-With-Controlled-Crying.aspx
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HippyMama
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 6:10pm |
I third the recommendation to get your hands on some reading material by Elizabeth Pantley, also look up 'Sleeping Like a Baby' by Pinky McKay.
I know broken sleep is hard, but it is biologically normal for babies to wake and 'eat' in the night - a survival instinct if you will, so just because some babies can sleep through doesn't mean they should.
One of my favorite blogs actually has a whole collection of articles on sleep and nightwaking (and ways of coping with it) etc all in one place, here is the link:
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/sleep-training-review-of-research.html
Also some stuff mostly related to co-sleeping but could have some useful bits for you:
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/06/truth-about-co-sleeping-how-stats.html
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RoSee
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 7:53pm |
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If she is using BF as comfort sucking maybe you could try a dummy with her? Then when she wakes in the night she could learn to find it herself and settle herself?
The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford is fantastic however it does involve controlled crying or cry it out which alot of people are anti.
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myfullhouse
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Posted: 12 March 2010 at 8:07pm |
 HippyMama wrote:
I third the recommendation to get your hands on some reading material by Elizabeth Pantley, also look up 'Sleeping Like a Baby' by Pinky McKay. |
I agree, these books are wonderful! Even if you don't follow the no cry solutions they ahve alot of info that can help you work out why she is waking. I used a mix of both their books to stop Jack feeding to sleep once I was ready to do so (he was about 9mths) and it worked quite quickly. I stopped at bedtime and once we got that sorted I moved on to the middle of the night and then naps.
IMO there is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep as long as it works for you. I feed Ben to sleep in the middle of the night and would do so during the day and at bedtime except he doesn't want to.
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julz85
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Posted: 13 March 2010 at 1:27pm |
Thanks heaps everyone for your suggestions , im going to try take it all on board and i will definatly be going to the library this week , we had another TERRIBLE night last night and i lost the plot a bit this morning at DP as im just so insainly sleep deprived , we had my partners 5yr old daughter staying the night (she will be again tonight) so as she was staying in the same room as Amelia i couldnt just let her cry otherwise she would wake the wee girl up, i have however been letting her cry it out for her daytime naps (hate listening to her cry ) today she cried for about 20-30min before falling asleep- that was 2 hours ago and shes still asleep . i also went out and bought a baby sleeping bag yesterday so have been trying that out with the safeTy sleep . thanks again everyone 
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kmarie
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Posted: 13 March 2010 at 3:16pm |
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Hey Julz I can totally empathise - Bethany did the same constantly between 3 & 6mths old, it was so so so so so draining, to say the least! I tried Pinky McKay & Elizabeth Pantley's books and methods but they just didn't work for Bethany unfortunately. Here's hoping the do work for you!
But in case they don't and you're forced to find a last resort that does involve crying but feels gentler than 'CIO' or even some 'CC' methods, I highly recommend the sleep sense programme which is what we used in the end. I won't say it was easy (but then nothing is when you're re-training your lil ones to sleep!) but it was def worth it. Within 3 nights we had gone from nights like yours, to Bethany sleeping 10 hours straight. Believe me, we didn't know ourselves! Anyway, if you do want a copy, PM me your email address and I'll send it thru (it's an e-book). All the best with sorting Amelia's sleep! And big hugs... this won't last forever I promise x
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BlondeLady
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Posted: 13 March 2010 at 8:14pm |
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Hey Julz - eeek! I totally sympathise with you on the lack of sleep front... my DH is the breadwinner while I stay at home with bub so I don't feel I can expect him to wake in the nights during the week to settle bub - but by the end of the week I am the b&£"!ch from hell! But he helps on the weekend so I can get a bit of sleep.
My bub was very prem so we came home from a long hospital stay on a 4 hour routine, and we followed Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby routines, which have been great & bub has always been really happy & settled with them. I have several friends who have switched to Gina Ford & never looked back. However, the routines are strict & a lot of people feel they are too regimented... We used them strictly to start, but over time we have 'bent the rules' to suit our routines better!
Also, if you are really having trouble getting sleep, a lot of the Plunket's have a sleep clinic - you go in & they give you a room to sleep in & they will look after bub for you (if you are still breastfeeding then make sure you take in some expressed milk so they can give bub a bottle for you while you sleep).
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shelleybean
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Posted: 13 March 2010 at 8:47pm |
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Really feel for you julz, hope the sleeping bag helps. Let us know how you get on, you have had some really good advice.
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Nikki
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Posted: 13 March 2010 at 10:09pm |
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Hey Julz, I second the sleepsense programme that kmarie suggested. Even if you just get a copy of the e-book to read, it will give you another option to try. We just used it to get rid of Morgans dummy. Good luck hun!!
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waking 10 times at 8 moths old ... HELP!!
September '11
