having a m/c and completely lost

Hi Jem,
I didn't want to read and run. I don't have any answers for you either sorry, just wanted to give you some hugs This must be a very upsetting thing to happen, especially after waiting so long to get pregnant.
I hope the pains and bleeding go away soon and you can start TTC again.
Big hugs!

Hi Jem

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, so totally heartbreaking!

My first MC I ended up having a D & C after bleeding for a few days and the others were all D & C's as well so I can't help you too much on that side of things!

I'm with Kazzle though, make sure you grieve and give your self time to heal emotionally and physically. Only you will know when it's time to TTC again.

I wish there was more I coudl say. Take care

A xx

So sorry you are going through this hun, big from me.

Do you have a midwife yet?? If you do have they not given you any advice? If you haven't I would go see your GP if for nothing else at least they can note it on your medical notes, (and might be able to give you some good pain relief if you need it).
Now to answer your questions:

What can i expect with a M/C??? - Bleeding will be heavy including probably at least a couple of big clots, cramping will be bad (my wheat bag and panadol were my best friends) . If your bleeding get's way excessive they advise you to go to hospital/A&E.

how long does it last? - Unfortunately you can't know how long it will last for you as every MC is different. But the worst of the bleeding and cramping should be over in a few days.

does it slowly stop hurting? - Physically the cramping should only be a few days. emotionally it does get easier but personally I think it will always tug at my heart.

how long untill u can start ttc again? - Like the other girls said medically they tell you to have at least an AF before you start trying agin, other MC groups say 3 months to help heal emotionally. Really it is completely up to you and when you feel ready.

Hope that helps, let us know if you have anymore questions. I hope you have lots of love and support with you to help you through this.

Thanks everyone you all have been a huge help, Im so glad that there is a space for me to find out and talk to others about all this.

I have been feeling heaps better today I still have bleeding, cramping and all that but its pulled back a lil and not as intense so I hoping that it continues to improve.

Didi I dont have a midwife yet well i wont be needing one now anyways I have only been dealing with Fertility Assiocates in hamilton. I have a feeling that they see sooo many m/cs that they kinda forget that its a new thing for some people like me who know nothing but i have got a few questions answered thru them.

I am really wanting to get back to normal, all the pain and bleeding that i have been having feels like another kick in the guts as its a constant reminder of the fact that Im losing my bubs. kinda feels like I cant move on emotionally until the physical pain is over so that im not reminded of it ALLLL the time.

Thanks heaps everyone.

Another question...... Not that i feel like it right now with the bleeding and pain going on, but how soon after a m/c is it safe to BD again (not fot ttc but just plain old bding for fun)??? Do you just have to wait for the bleeding to stop or a few weeks or a month, or????

Oh ok thanks Didi.
This is so weird I am always trying to compare this bleeding with AF and its nothing like it. I like how af is predictable and only lasts 5 days heavest in the mddle and then disappears slowly and then the flow during the day is predictable as well as for me it usually slows down at night...
but this bleeding is nothing like AF its not predictable its not heavier at one point of the day and light at another its completely random, oh well its seem like its a lil lighter today.

I have a awesome DH last night even thou he had a early start he stayed up late last night and gave me a MEAN back rub for nearly 2 HOURS! I fell asleep around the 45 min point but wow i went to bed feeling SOOOOO good and easily got comfy in bed without a sore lower back and slept better than i have in last lil while, but now hes paying for the late night and having a lil nap. I feel so loved hes the best

OMG Merlinfluff Im so sorry that you have gone thru all that, kidney failure sounds like such a scary thing I am hoping that all works out for you.

Awwwwww big hugs Jem

I hope you are feeling better now

I bleed for just over 2 weeks when i had a m/c

I hope things have settled down for you now

Spanky yeh he is a awesome dude, I had a scan done the other day and things were looking good, she said it looks like my bod is dealing with it and doing what it should so thats a relief.

Feeling heaps beta all yesterday I had NO pain or cramping at all and i think the bleeding is thinking of stopping soon. Its still all over the place but at least most of the time its a heavy to mild spotting instead of a full on bleed like b4. I am soooo ready for it to stop, Im so over seeing red ever time i go to the toilet and Im sick of wearing pads.

Thanks everyone for your support, I feel like Im starting to come out the other end. Now Im just waiting for another blood test on tues, this tuesday it was around 61ish so Im hoping it will come right down by then. And I am also waiting for a review appt at FA. Im ok if the appt takes a lil while but I just wanna know when the appt is.

Glad the worst of the physical stuff is sounding like it is coming to an end for you Jem. Pleased to see your man is taking good care of you too, they do come in handy every now and then hey .

Tessa- b4 now I knew alot of people have M/C and that it happens often, but i was surprised at how much people just dont talk about them, felt really lost without info and struggled to get info as well, Im sooo happy that i have all the ladies on here made everything sooo much easier. I really hope you have a better m/c than i did and have no need for a&e

feeling heaps better now had 2 days of no pain and my bleeding is now only a very light spotting. Emotionally i feel heaps beter too, with the bleeding stopping helps but i think the biggest thing that helped was naming the bubs that i have lost and its helped me feel alot more at ease about it all.
Now all i have to do is wait for my blood test on tuesday.