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pepsi
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Topic: Parents Rooms at the Mall Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:26pm |
You know those parents rooms at the mall?... well I was in one today along with a bunch of other mothers (some who were breastfeeding), and while we were all in the lounge-type area another mother came in with her boyfriend and he sat around in the room. What I was wondering is, should there be guys in there? I mean, I know it's a "parents room" but on the door itself it says "mothers feeding area"... I just felt a bit uncomfortable flopping out the boob with some strange guy in there...
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Peace
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:31pm |
That is a bit rank.
I would feel uncomfortable about it.
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Sarah Beth
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:42pm |
was it an area for breast feeding or a general area? If for breastfeeding, it is a bit odd, but then I imagine I would like the company of dh if I were there.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:57pm |
some of them have curtained off cubicles with comfy chairs in them - prob for that very reason. and are you assuming it was the boyfriend - it may have been the father of the child.?
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Katherine
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:12pm |
I think I would feel uncomfortable too, but I would think the guy would feel MORE uncomfortable! LOL! Imagine being the only guy in a room full of breastfeeding women...
I remember when Emma Rose was about 6 weeks old, a (female) friend came to visit and we went to Botany to *try* to do some shopping. My friend and I were sitting in one of the curtained-off cubicles chatting while I breastfed Em, and we heard the door to the parents' room open and the voices of some teenage boys, horsing around, running in and out of the door. Well, I excused myself to my friend, stood up, whipped around the curtain and yelled at them, "If you don't get the hell out of here, I'm going to call security!" Em was still attached to my boob, mind you... The sight of this wild-haired woman with a baby attached to her boob must have shocked the hell out of them, because they all turned tail and ran. The room got really, really quiet after that...
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ellabellame
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:16pm |
lol katherine, that's great!!
sam sometimes comes into the parents rooms with me but if someone else comes in he always excuses himself and leaves, i think he finds it more uncomfortable to be in the room with breastfeeding women than the women would.
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Paws
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:35pm |
Our parents rooms also have curtained off cubicles for that reason as well...and they are only marked parents rooms they don't say mum's only.
I've seen guys (including one who must have been in charge of the kids for a day) in them and B has come in before too. Often the dads seem to be in there helping out the mum's, I often see them do the nappy changes while mum has a sit down.
To me it makes sense that dads be allowed in as well, I mean if they are looking after the baby then the baby still has to be changed and if the baby is taking a bottle and Dad is in charge he still needs somewhere quiet to sit down and feed baby not to mention somewhere to heat a bottle.
I personally have no issues with it at all, maybe suggest to your mall that they have curtained cubicles like the Westfields do in Auckland.
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:45pm |
A parents room is what it says "parents" which also means dads. My DH hates when its mothers room or mothers something as for 2 days a week (during weekdays) he was the parent while I was at work and if Andrew needed changing then he would have to use the room if they were in town. Mothers feeding area is a little different if it says that on the door then that would say to me womans only area like the male and female toilets, but the mall would have to have somewhere that dad's can also go and change their children if they are the only one with them.
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BaAsKa
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:26pm |
I agree that parents room are to include fathers but if it is just a random boyfirnd comming in and sitting dwon in between all the BFeeding mums then thats not right as they can easily sit outside if they are of no use to the mother they went in with. Just personal preference i guess as it is kind of the same as a Maternity annex where fathers arnt allowed to stay for the patients privacy whether they are father or not...although in saying that i dont like that rule but guess it makes sense
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pepsi
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:38pm |
Yes, I also agree that parents rooms are for fathers too but the specific breastfeeding area should not be. In the instance of the mall we were at, there were two seating areas - one near the entrance by the microwaves and changing tables and the other in the back where the mothers go and breastfeed.. This guys girlfriend was the one who was breastfeeding the baby (and yes I believe he was probably the father of the baby) - but I'm not sure why he would be required to sit in that area? Surely he should have sat and waited in the other seating area?
I guess personally I would never expect my husband to sit there with me out of respect to other women.
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:46pm |
In Palmy there is the Mothers room off the womens toilets that has some comfy couches and a changing thingy. I have often wondered what a dad yould do if he was out with bubs and needed to change it. I guess they'd have to go to one of the other ones in town.
Anyway, ramble ramble, parents rooms should be for dads as well, and if those rooms have breastfeeding area as well it would be nice if they were curtained off.
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mum2paris
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 9:51pm |
Is that the one in the square? over by the male toilets in there is a "male and female parent's room.." i think that's what it's called.. and that has an adults toilet, a kiddie toilet, changing table and seat for sitting on.. so they can still use that one.. and there are some chairs around by the caretaker booth for if they needed to feed a bottle i spose. but the comfy couches would still be nice.
I'm the same though, mike came in with me if it was curtained off or if no-one else was there feeding, as soon as someone came in to feed he would leave.
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busymum
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 10:03pm |
aimeejoy i might be wrong but i think that dad's are allowed to go change babies in the Palmy one by going through the other entrance? But haven't actually been there with DH so haven't really looked.
It is a tricky issue cause what is a bf or dh supposed to do while waiting for his dw/gf to finish up feeding the baby? I personally wouldn't mind someone else's other half coming in to be with them but if it was just some random guy I would probably get up and leave.
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Bombshell
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Posted: 29 November 2006 at 10:35pm |
there are so many guys out there with custody of theior kids or who have contact times with them and there is def a need for them to have access to the parents rooms.
Also if i was out with Dh and he wanted to come with me while i was bf then I would expect him to be allowed in....I can tell you my Dh gets so embarassed anyways that he wouldnt look at anyone!
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lizzle
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Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:35am |
In japan we had awesome parent rooms in the department stores, but as for public loos or in the train stations - mainly for women. Lewis had a hell of a time changing Jake's nappies sometimes. It is so bad that an online forum we belonged to tokyowithkids.com, had a thread advertising stations and areas with PARENTS room rather tnan just mum rooms.
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Jennz
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Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:40am |
Its a tough one- I completely agree that men should be allowed to go into them, for changing bubs etc- but to sit there while a whole lot of woman are breastfeeding is a little different. Especially if there is another room available to sit in. I guess as a Dad he has probably completely disassociated from breasts at the moment so just thinks of it as a whole lot of Mums feeding their babies- probably didn't even occur to him that it would make you all uncomfortable as he wasn't even thinking about it.
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rug_nz
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Posted: 01 December 2006 at 12:19am |
Well as a man, it is hard, I have been in them with my wife and bub. I am full time SAHD now and if we go to the mall I change her(bub) before we go and feed also. But if she does need to be changed or feed even what am I to do? Parents room is the place is it not. I'm not going to change her on a seat in the food area. If theres a mum sittin in there feedin hers I can't wait outside till shes finished.
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jax
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Posted: 01 December 2006 at 12:50am |
Yay ! Finally a male member  Is it just me or would this be the first bloke around in a long LONG time ?
In any case, welcome !
Oh, and as for the actual issue at hand, my local is Paws' local and while Rollie hasn't been in there with me (yet), he has done at the P&C show, and did today while we were out... I can personally see a necessity to have a place for both male and female parents (what about gay dads? mind you probably not alot of those around either...) but can also understand how some breastfeeding mums might not be comfortable with a male presence... (which is why some are lucky to have curtained areas)
Wow, what a ramble... time for bed !
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Paws
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Posted: 01 December 2006 at 7:17am |
Yay a dad's perspective!! Enough said really.
We used the parents room again last night and B was in there with me and a dad was in with his wife also. B also reminded me that we once saw a dad in there tackling 3 kids! (go him!)
I still think suggesting you mall put in a curtained area would help heaps, then women can have the privacy if they need it and dad's are still able to use the parents room without getting (so many)offended looks
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rug_nz
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Posted: 01 December 2006 at 8:54am |
OT - thanks for the welcome.
The other prob I'm going to find with this area is when she is older and going thou toilet trainin. Not usein the mens, can't go in the ladies (well can but would get slaped). have been to 1 loo that was for parents and it had a small change table and toilet in a little room.
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