The One that got away....

Maybe it's just me, but there is a guy from my past who I think of a lot, and always wonder how he is, where he is, what he's doing etc. I don't wish I was with him any more, but I do have a little bit of a... hmmm... dunno what the right word is here, but a special little place in my heart for him. I haven't seen him in 6 years, and today we both happened to be on MSN for the first time in ages, and he tells me he's just moved to Montreal to be with a woman. Whilst I am so happy for him to have found someone wonderful, I feel a little bit sad too.... What on earth is that about???! I have my wonderful man, and my wonderful son and everything is wonderful.... so why do I feel a bit sad?? Anyone else ever experienced this kind of madness before??

Edited by Clare

You are so not alone Clare. I am from Australia, been here nearly 8 years. But I do think of two men from my past. One I haven't seen since High School and the other since I moved over. Both will always have a special place in my heart. I think that it is because I expeirenced "growing up" phases while I was with them. I will always wonder if I should have stayed with the one that I haven't seen since High School. I do feel sad sometimes...... But I am in NZ now, married and have a son, ttc#2.

I just try to remember that I made the choices to move on then, and it must have been for a good reason. Sometimes those Rose Tinted Glasses can be really annoying, well for me anyways!

Chin up, you are not alone with your feelings.

Even tho I dont have the "what if guy".....I can see how that could effect you the way it has. Mind/heart is a funny thing.

But like you said, you have a wonderful life with your man and son......dont try and analyse this feeling too much I think!!

I've got a what if guy as well. I do think about him alot. We kept in touch after I moved up here almost 9 years ago now, he went overseas, and we kept in touch then as well, and he came all the way up here just to see me when he came home. I really really loved him. he wasn't keen to move here and I wasn't keen to go back to invercargill, so it was a stale mate thing, really. Not long after his visit, I met Rod, and we broke up twice, Rod was very gun shy. The last time, I was really crying on Vinnys shoulder about why nice girls get thrown over for bad girls all the time and he was lamenting the nice guys thing as well, and we decided to meet up in chch 6 weeks down the track, and have a boozy weekend. During this time, Rod and I got back together for good, and we moved in together. After I told Vinny, I have never ever heard form him again. All my ph calls, texts and emails have gone un answered. I feel awful that I hurt him so much (did I though?) and so much want to share everything with him, as more than anything we were best best friends. Hmmm. Sorry for the thread hijack Clare. Am plesed to see I'm not the only one who has a "what if" guy!

I have 2 guys that I often think about,..I think its more an unfinished buisness kinda thing with them, no racing herat or anything,..I think i just want answers,..that Im never gonna get!! The first was a highschool thing. He was a good friend at the time, and I would just like to know how he is,..what he's up to etc. The second one really broke my heart,..I thought he was the love of my life,..then one day after we had been together 6 months, he phoned me and said he didnt want to see me ever again,..and that was it,..he wouldnt explain a thing,..it was 7 years ago,..but i would still like to know why.

Im the same (hope hubby doesnt read this) I saw in the paper about a year ago that he and his wife had a baby and when i read it my heart stopped, and it was funny cos he named his wee girl something very similar to what i have named Addison (already had my name picked out so wasnt copying!) I have been with hubby since this guy and i split up and he has been with his wife for the same amount of time (12 years) but whenever someone mentions him or I hear his name it always makes me a little sad. This will sound really odd but sometimes I well kind of crave just tracking him down and seeing what he looks like these days you know. I remember running into him once when he was with his wife and we just looked at each other, it was kind of weird considering we are now adults.
Its a strange thing aye.

Edited by my2angels

I think it's normal. I have a "what if" guy, 2 days after we got together he moved to Aussie and he couldn't move back, and I couldnt afford to move there, so yeah. I still wonder "what if". We are still in regular contact which is a little hard, makes me feel guilty sometimes, because the 2 days we had together were the most magical, amazing days.

I don't want to be the cold water bearer but I think you need to be really careful about the "what if" guys so that you can be totally committed to your (now) man, for better or for worse.

Just my 2 cents, I don't mean to offend.

Awww, you chicks rock It is so nice to know that other people feel like this sometimes. I guess it's easy to forget someone who you have a bad break up with, but for me and this guy we only broke up because we had different agendas in life - we met in London, and while I was preparing to come home, he still had years of travel left in him. We had agreed from the start that there would be no holding each other back from following our individual dreams, and that if we wanted different things then we'd just have to deal with it. I guess I kinda hoped he'd decide that I was the "one" and follow me..... but it didn't happen, and I didn't follow him either.... Ah well, melancholic moment over! Thanks everyone for sharing your stories

I'm now with my 'what if' guy (except that I always have a few more than just one!)