Should I have to put up with this?

Awwwwww, you poor thing. I have a moody DH so I understand how you feel. Three weeks after Emma Rose was born, he had a mini breakdown, locked himself in his den and didn't come out for two days. By the time he opened the door, I was ready to KICK his ARSENAL from here to next week. Apparently the sleep deprivation was getting to him and he just needed to "sleep it off". (When did I get to "sleep it off"? Not til Em started sleeping through the night!!!)

My best friend's DH is similar -- they have a 5-month-old, and from the beginning, he has acted like it's just TOO MUCH TROUBLE for him to help with the baby, especially in the middle of the night. He is hearing impaired, and the thing that bothers my friend the most is that in the night, he'll take his hearing aids out so he can't hear the baby crying -- meaning, she has to get up every single time, or risk peeving him off when she elbows him awake. And boy, does he get upset if she wakes him up!

On the other hand, both our DHs have had times where they are absolutely WONDERFUL. Helpful, adoring, willing to rub our feet and take the babies from us for hours. So no, you don't deserve to be treated like he's treating you. He's being a jerk. With my DH and my friend's DH, it comes down to feeling like they have too much responsibility in being the primary wage-earner, and thinking it entitles them to act like jerks sometimes, especially when they're under pressure or they have a bad day (because we're sitting home all day "playing", of course).

Hang in there! Hopefully he'll come back from his little hiatus and be in a better mood -- if not, just ignore him. (Like ignoring a kid having a tantrum...)

Oh my gosh Katherine,..I am married to your husbands clone!
That is so not on. Unfortunatly I dont think there is a way to truely make our partners know what its like to be a pregnant women,..and all the emotions etc that u feel. *Hugs* I hope he's nicer when he gets home.

ETA: An example of above clone statement,..as I sit on here, DH is happily cooking us dinner,..and in contrast,..on Sat he was putting together Isla's new cot, and got so frustrated and p***ed off that it wasnt working,.that he stormed of to the tab for the afternoon! Lol!

Edited by Kellz

In answer to your question, hell no, you shouldn't have to put up with that kind of behaviour. What a jerk, he needs to grow the f*ck up.

I mean, sure, reality has maybe hit home for him that the baby will be around very soon, but there's no excuse for being that much of an asshole. You are the mother of his child and deserve some respect.

Put dog food in his dinner. It'll make you feel better at least

Renee! I hope he comes home full of apologies or at least a decent explanation.
IMO he's acting like a dick. It wouldn't make his day any harder to stop for a second and tell you that he's had a crap day and just needs some time out to cool off.
Take care of yourself and chick, hope he's home soon!

pepsi wrote: Put dog food in his dinner. It'll make you feel better at least

Lmao

I'm pretty sure that eomachine lives in hamilton(?) Correct me if I am wrong.

Eomachine, he is a silly billy, probably really scared that he is going to be a dad really soon. And I am not making excuses for him. He still needs to treat you with the respect you deserve, afta all, you are carrying the bubs!

Big

How did the rest of your night go eomachine? I hope it got better?!

I don't know the dymnamics of you relationship but this type of behaviour is something that would be unacceptable for me. I am a real "obsess-er" when it comes to situations like this, leaving me stewing like that would be a baaaddd idea. What could be so hard about saying "i've had a crap day and need some time out"?

Hey Renee, Sorry to hear that DP was being an absolute pain in the rear. That is completely unfair on you and cant be good for the BP either. Hopefully he has come home and apologised and that things are a bit better today.

Big Hugs.

Hugs Renee! Not nice. You totally don't deserve to be treated like that! We have been having a similar discussion on my EBB board about partners going a bit nuts. You can see how things are difficult for them in some ways.
- we carry bubs and form a connection for 9 months, they have to wait till bubs is here for it to be real
- they know they have to earn the money to keep things going for however long we take off work
- we have 9 months to practice responsibility (what we eat etc, it is thrust upon them at bubs birth
- they can't do anything to make our pains etc feel better - they become helpless really
- we get asked constnatly how we are, how bubs is, Dh/DP pretty much gets ignored other than to be asked how the woman/bubs is.

And so on! That doesn't make how DP is acting acceptable - he needs to find other ways to channel his frustrations. Going off without telling you where he is is stupid, particularly as you are far enough along now for bubs to realistically make an appearance (early and surprising, but it happens!)

I don't know how to solve it, as guys aren't the best talkers, but you do need to ell him why it upsets you, in as words as possible. Something like - I don't like it when you act like that because it makes me worried about how we will cope with the stresses of having a baby. You need to tell me where you are going and at least warn me and say you need some space to get get over a bad day so I know it isn't me and you just need time.

Good luck, hope things got better.

First of all ...hell no, you dont deserve to be treated like this. Specially because you are pregnant, and even tho you are not working, you are keeping the house beautiful and dinner cooked. So you are doing your part even tho you are heavily pregnant.....Arrrgggg
Can I come over and punch him too?? I say this because my husband went thru some thing very similar while I was pregnant to. He treated me like that, he wouldnt talk to me, spend any time with me.......and like your DH would drive off for hours. AT NIGHT!!

We were in the edge off splitting up. I was working up untill 1 week before I was due and I knew I will have no money after Bub was born but I wasnt going to let that stop me. I knew my parents were there and Govt could help a single mum. I made up my mind and told him that its over and since he was not there for me and bub he is not going to be a part of her life when she was here. So he can F Off. I told him to move out and stay out. With in a day he came back telling me that he feels depressed and doesnt know how to fix it (there were some issues at the back ground, I knew about them but he wouldnt le me help)....but he didnt wanna lose me or bub. So we tried councelling. And it worked out. We are still together ....even tho there are days were I feel like punching him.

Talk to him, tell him that you dont need him....but you do love him. If its on going then try councelling!!
You need to sort it before bub gets here!! You need a better half to help out...not a useless one!!

Sorry about the novel!