What is wrong with her?!

My MIL that is.

My MIL rang me a few days ago and said that they were coming over from Thames to see us and drop some things off this afternoon.   I stupidly assumed that this meant that they would arrive in the afternoon, so I invited my mum over for the morning so we could cluck over the new cot and just hang out, as you do with your own mother. Mum said she would come over late morning, maybe stay for lunch and then go home. It's not that I don't want my mum and my MIL in the same room, I just wanted to spend a bit of time with my mum by herself.

Well.. MIL and FIL and SIL and her two kids and MILs mother show up at 10am, with lunch and other assorted junk that we don't need.

So they start taking over the whole house. They had bought some baby clothes, a change table and a baby bath which was really awesome.

So my mum comes over and I take her into the babies room and we stand in there for a bit looking at the cot and talking and looking through all my baby things.

My mum likes to potter around and pick things up and sort things but was in no way rearranging anything..

Anyway.. MIL pokes her head in the room and says loudly 'What are you doing in here Fiona?' (my mum). My mum then says 'Oh just pottering around, looking at all the lovely stuff you bought over (being a nice person, as my mum is). Then MIL starts loudly saying things like "Well, I don't think you should be moving anything around as it's not up to you to rearrange the room, it's up to Renee and Murray and I don't think they want you interfering". GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.   My MIL is the most interfering, overbearing rude woman, which is nothing like my own mother who is a lovely, kind, caring woman who has every right to be in my house, in her grandchilds room.

I was so angry.

Then a bit later when we were all sitting down to have lunch, MIL says to my mum 'Oh, were you just wandering in the area and decided to show up here?' Ah no, I invited her over because I like to spend time with her you rude bitch.

Would anybody blame me if I murdered her? She is just so rude, so loud and so arrogant. She has this stupid idea in her head that she is the best parent in the world and she helps her children out so much that nobody elses parents could possibly be as helpful as her and makes it known! My mum has bought us a pram, a car seat, clothes and spends time with me, because she loves us and enjoys helping us, not because she thinks she's better than everyone else..

Wow, I bet none of that even made sense. I just had to get it out.

I'm sure some of you with MIL problems will be able to relate.

All moved

And your MIL sure sounds like high maintenance! What does DH think on the subject? If it were me I'd be telling him to tell his mother to pull her head in, before I tell her myself and all hell breaks loose.

But bear in mind that I am one of the lucky ones who has no MIL....

I think it was completely unjustified for her to make those comments as they did state (I read the first part correctly I think!) that they would pop around in the afternoon. Well I don't think 10am is anywhere the afternoon?! If I was you I'd just go nuts and then later on blame not being able to keep your mouth shut on being preggie - surely you can use that as an excuse?! (Maybe not for murder though!)

God, how rude!! If you're not comfortable confronting her about it I'd at least talk to your partner and if he agrees that she was out of line, he can have a word to her about being respectful.
IMO, just because she'd arranged in advance to come and see you, doesn't mean you shouldn't have your mother to visit as well.
She sounds like a right pain in the butt Renee, and I totally sympathise, SIL and I are constantly asking the same question about our MIL!!

Edited by caraMel

My MIL passed away, very unfortunate as she was a lovely lady.
I do know what you mean about WOMEN LIKE THAT

###VENT###
This awful woman that is a friend of my step-mum. She is one of those RUDE people that never has anything nice to say to anyone. She has always belittled me in front of people (as I am NOT step-mum's blood - AT ALL!) and OMG I nearly exploded at her this one time... but I wont even got there!
Anyways! LETS NOT GET ME WELL AND TRUELY STARTED!
After having Olivia she has softened towards me and I am a person who greatly believes in the humanity within. She is so kind to Olivia and delights with her, much nicer to her than I have ever seen her be to anyone besides my half sister.
The other week, I am changing Olivia's nappy on the floor and I was chatting to her about Olivia not lying still when she gets her nappy changed. She said to me : "Just give her a smack on the leg and say NO! I can do it if you like."

OMFG!
Did you see my face turn purple and me hug my half naked child close immediately.
"No thanks"

B#tch!
And what I can identify the most with is the whole, she thinks she is the best parent in the world. All her boys have fled as far away from her as humanly possible at age 16. One has even run to the other side of the world.

i wrote a long post last night -but had to delete it as realised i wrote it under DHs login...not great when talking about MIL!!! LOL

My MIL hates my mum and mum lives with us so hence they cant get over themselves either (something happened that meant they have hated each other since when DH and i first met) - my mum has invited her here for lunch a few weeks back but that is the first time MIL and FIL have been here since my bridal shower in Oct 05 and pre that my engagement (9 months before that!!!)..seriously!!! and i am soooo sick of having to go up there all the time....none of DHs family comes down here...he did manage to get them to go meet us for dinner down this way a few weeks back but they never come to the house....Ummmmm I own the house with mum and DH and i plan to live this way for a along time so they should get over it!!!

and so MIl never rings DH here (she calls his cell) doesnt come down here (they live 30 mins drive away -thankfully) and despite adoring ella she has been a pain in the %#@ to me at times and i just wish she and mum would get over themselves. I am trying soley for Ella really....but she still does things to Peeve me off a lot....or doesnt do things (like get involved in our wedding, buy stuff for Ella pre being born, come to our house unless a specific planned invite etc etc..) - and this attitude drives me insane...

ok rant over....SEE i share your pain...and katherines too of course!

oh no! gandt i dread when my mum and MIL are in the same room!!! many bad things have come from it so i try to avoid at all costs!!


Renee you MIL sounds like a real B***H!!! (sorry) me being the big mouth that i am would tell her where to go if she overstepped the mark like that!!

So not the kind of stress you need so close to popping!!

As some wise person once said .. who DOES get on with their MIL?

Actually, I get on with mine ok, but she has peed me off no end at times, but not to the extent of yours. And I don't mean to belittle what she did/said, buuttt you are pregnant and therefore every little thing can and will annoy you!

It's not just my mum I don't want to visit at the same time as my MIL but it's everyone else too. I get embarrased when my MIL meets anybody because she is guaranteed to say something offensive, judgemental, rude or all of the above, and I would feel awful saying something to her because I know I wouldn't get anywhere. She honestly doesn't think she has a problem and bringing it up would really throw a spanner in the works and make things even more difficult!

On this occasion I had invited my mum over before I knew MIL was coming over. MIL invited herself over, and then arrived at a different time than she had said she would. Rules or boundaries don't apply with this woman, she does whatever she wants and would make my life hell if I stood up to her. My mums MIL is the same, my mum spent years and years never standing up for herself and unfortunately I take after her. No balls when it comes to this sort of thing.

luna wrote: As some wise person once said .. who DOES get on with their MIL?

Sorry - just had to say - me!! i love my MIL, but I think that it is more than made up for by the relationship I have with my mother, which is now nonexistant. And this is much better for me and bubs than trying to have one for the sake of what society thinks. The only good thing about having a manipulative psycho mother (rather than MIL) is that you can end the relationship as you don't have to worry about the effect on DH!