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Emmecat View Drop Down
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    Posted: 20 July 2010 at 6:45pm

....have you felt guilty about whilst mothering your children? You know, the sort of thing you probably wouldn't judge a friend on if they compained to you about it but you judge yourself on?

It's a bit of a continuation from the other thread about motherhood and lying....

so he goes my (latest) one:

Today I bought formula for the first time.  I cannot tell you how (stupidly) guilty I felt about that. We haven't even used it yet but just the fact I purchased it when I have a pair of perfectly working breasts that could feed my baby.... uurgh I feel stink.

 However those perfectly working breasts are taking a hammering during this pg from Clodagh's feeding and I'm now extremely unsure if she's getting much satisfaction from my supply and  worried she is waking up hungry at night and not settling after BF...

So for that and numerous other reasons I am gonna replace one BF a day with formula.

*guilt*

That's my stupid thing....you?


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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 6:50pm
OT but you know you dont have to replace it with formula at this age... she can have normal milk instead and water. my first child stopped bf at 14 mths old by which stage he was only on one feed a day and he never had formula or a bottle.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _SMS_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 6:53pm
Dont feel bad Emmecat. You have done so well BFing this long, as well as BFing while pregnant. I sure couldnt do it, you should be proud!!

One thing i really feel bad about & would never make that mistake again is giving up breastfeeding. I stopped when Taylah was 8 1/2 months. The reason i stopped is because so many people kept telling me i should & it looks wrong etc. At the time i didnt really know any people who BF beyond that age.

It annoys me so much, everytime id give dd a bottle it would make me mad. Not that i have anything against bottle feeding mums its just that i knew my breasts worked, Taylah loved being a boobie baby
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote julz85 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 6:56pm
hmmm might sound silly but i felt guilty that i was able to have a natural drug free birth last year. No other woman in my family has had one ( they all had cesereans ) . my sister didnt even come see me at the hospital after i had Amelia and i wonderd why as we are close , she told me later on that she was fuming with jelousy that i got to have a natural birth . It had never even crossed my mind that someone would be jelous of that. and then earlier this year she had her second baby and yet again had to have a ceserean so i really did feel guilty .
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AandCsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 6:58pm
I feel really guilty about anything that goes in my mouth ie the chocolate this morning

I feel really guilty because it's my stupid genetics.

I feel guilty that I didn't do many exciting things with A in the holidays cause we had made a decision to not go anywhere re ticker below.

Every night I feel guilty that we've butted heads during the day.
Kel


A = 01.02.04   &   C = 16.01.09   &   G = 30.03.12
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High9 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 7:02pm
I felt guilty about having an epidural during my birth, even though my birth was perfect! And I kept an open mind too. I went almost 24 hours without one then was 7cm for a few hours and then started to think negatively so got an epi. I feel bad as it wore off after an hour and I felt everything as didn't top it up, but makes me feel bad for being a 'wimp' for that one hour! - How silly!
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Emmecat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Emmecat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 7:11pm

Bizzy- yeah I know they don't 'need' formula...but I worry cos she's vegetarian and fussy as anything atm (not worried about her being the former, I just mean I'm worried cos she's the former AND fussy lol).... so thought I'd try formula.

Tayz ((hugs)) hun. That must've been so damn hard for you. It's really difficult when you're not supported in your decisions.  

Julz -omg mucho kudos to you having a drug free birth hun. I'd be so proud!

Having said that, I also had an epi Lil Nic and it was wonderful hehe

A&C- lol I'm the same with chocolate ....and with the butting heads thing


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fire_engine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 7:20pm
Going back to work 2 days a week when Dan was 7 months, even though he loves his carer (cries everytime we drive past cos he wants to go and play ) and I needed it for my MH.
Mum to two wee boys
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TheKelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 7:41pm
I DON'T feel guilty for stopping bf'ing Ty

I DON'T feel guilty for wanting an epidural with this baby , when I had two all natural, no pain relief births before and know I can do it without any pain relief again , I just don't want to

I DO feel guilty that my daughter is struggling in maths and english tho





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Delli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Delli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 7:55pm
I feel guilty about using gas in labour. I didn't need anything else which I know I should be proud about but still wish I had the bragging rights of a completely drug free birth.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NewPhoenix Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:02pm
.

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TheKelly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TheKelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:15pm
Originally posted by Delli Delli wrote:

I feel guilty about using gas in labour. I didn't need anything else which I know I should be proud about but still wish I had the bragging rights of a completely drug free birth.


using only gas is something to be proud of .
Personally i've of the opinion that ANYONE who goes through labour, in whatever way , epidural , c section , no drugs , is a star , there is a reason why women do it , and not men





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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:21pm
Hell, I DON T feel guilty about using gas, pethadine AND the epidural during my labour, I still got my little boy out of it and he was perfect

I agree Kelly


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Delli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Delli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:30pm
Haha I know it's weird to feel guilty about that - especially someone like me who thinks that progress (as in medical progress, change in society etc) is usually a GOOD thing, so I should be all about the epidural, gas and pethidene. And yet I do feel guilty... Strange. Lol, I don't make sense huh.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snappy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:39pm
I feel guilty about absolutely everything. The very latest is the fact that i gave DD signature range bread for her lunch, rather than the last two pieces of vogels      , because i wanted it for my toast in the morning. Then i beat myself up for putting myself first, even though she probably couldn't give two hoots what bread she had. Crazy!!
Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BriAndOlisMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:46pm
I feel guilty about stopping breast feeding but he just wasn't getting enough out of me and wasn't growing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Renee & Lauren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:48pm
sorry I don't have anything to feel guilty about that I can think of - well apart from maybe I should had asked for more help from my MW on the bf when DD was born.

As for formula Emme - you know you should be able to use cows milk now if you want to.. we started DD on cows milk at 12 mths. Or is your DD lactose intolerant...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote julz85 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 8:51pm

**** i retract what i say about a drug free labour , i did have some gas but because it had absolutly no affect on me whatsover ( it relived no pain and only made me vomit) i dont count it as pain releif during labour lol but i guess i should count that i had it , as it is drugs .... no way id have it again tho.

 

And i agree with Kelly - anyone that goes through labour is a star no matter what they had . in the end all that counts is that baby is safe .

on another note the thing i feel most guilty about and i have never told anyone this but it is that i got pregnant to an a**hole that doesnt care about his daughter . I feel soooo guilty that my daughter will never have a good relationship with her natural father because he quite simpley does not care about her and it is my fault as i chose to be with that man at the time and altho i was not expecting to get pregnant to him and i knew our relationship wasnt going anywhere and i knew he was a horrible person on many levels i still had sex with him and im mature enough to know what can result out of sex , even if protection was used .  I know im a good mum and i try my best but it still doesnt take away the guilt that i wish my child could have two natural parents that love and care about her and that are together .



Edited by julz
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LouD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 9:00pm
Mothers are STARS every min of every day of every week!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _SMS_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2010 at 9:05pm
Originally posted by Snappy Snappy wrote:

I feel guilty about absolutely everything. The very latest is the fact that i gave DD signature range bread for her lunch, rather than the last two pieces of vogels      , because i wanted it for my toast in the morning. Then i beat myself up for putting myself first, even though she probably couldn't give two hoots what bread she had. Crazy!!


That made me laugh, i never give dd our 'nice' bread, she always gets the cheap stuff, that way i dont care if it gets wasted.

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