CLB

We did the CLB routines and my DH is in the office 8-8 most days of the week. At the time DS was born he was working later than that a lot of the time too. I don't think he missed out on bonding time with DS because we followed a particular routine. If you're breastfeeding then you're going to be doing most of the feeding etc anyway, so it's not going to make much of a difference which book you read (if any)

TBH, even following the routines, there were nights when I was still feeding C at 9pm when DH got in. He would take over just so that I could eat dinner and have a break Even if he's not playing with your baby at that late night feed, he is getting to know them and giving them comfort and most importantly giving you a break.

Does your DH have any opportunity for flexi hours at all? From about 6mo, mine blocked out one afternoon a week at work and tries to be home by 5pm (the middle of the day here work-wise lol). He hangs out with C, gives him dinner and gets him to bed and then works from home after we've eaten our dinner if he needs to.

CLB worked/works really well for us (DS is now 21 months). DH pretty much takes over at the weekend or any time he is home at the moment because I'm about ready to pop with #2 as well. We have absolutely no issues with DH taking over with DS, I've always felt we're equally close to C. In fact he's a real Daddy's Boy

i dont know what CLB is - but i think all dads (or the working parent i should say) has the same problem.

(and as an aside i dont get why you wouldnt want to look at your baby while feeding them - let alone that you know your baby will be feeding at 10.30. )

I didn't know what it was either so looked it up, apparently she says that during all night feeds you shouldn't make eye contact so as not to stimulate them.

To be completely blunt, you are setting yourself up for PND or anxiety if you go the routine route in the first month or so. Yes, it *might* work for some, but 95% will say all it did was stress them out. Feed baby when s/he is hungry, not by the clock for a start, breast or bottle, its just plain cruel to not feed them when they are hungry/thirsty - after all do you think oh I can't be thirsty, I just had a drink 2 hours ago! If you are breastfeeding you NEED to feed baby when they "ask" for it as thats how they build up their supply! Its important, so important to remember that new babies only have a tummy as big as a golf ball.
An interesting fact, Gina Ford has never had children....
That said, we did have a routine of sorts, which involved DH when he was there if kids were up...he was in charge of burping, cuddles, nappy changes and bathing, and at the weekends he spent lots of time with them. We certainly did the up feed change play thing and had a turn around of being back into bed within the hour at the start.

The reason why I am so anti CLB is I see so many mums at the end of their tether because they think they are either "doing it wrong" or worse case scenario "a bad mother" and their babies are hungry, screaming crying and won't be put into the "mould" of a strict routine at 3 or 4 weeks old. Lots of new parents also stress out heaps about bonding and dad time, and I can see why, but honestly, Dad will get heaps and heaps of time for that, especially when they get a bit older, I promise you! put him on bath duty or changing and burping (Dads are good at burping).
Best luck, and don't stress ot to much about the books, they all have a different idea to sell and you just need to do what works for your baby!

clover wrote: I didn't know what it was either so looked it up, apparently she says that during all night feeds you shouldn't make eye contact so as not to stimulate them.

I so could never have done that with my two... infact I struggled not to play with them when they woke during the night

I've always made eye contact with both of mine while feeding, even at night.

I'd suggest doing some research onto the effects of CC/CIO on babies,and the possible difficulties very scheduled feeding so early can cause, just so you can be sure you make an informed decision.

And don't foget to get baby to read the book

FTR, I didnt say you hadnt read the book. Lots of posting posting on this thread havnt which is why I mentioned that it can be hard to understand if you havnt read the book.

I tried Gina Ford and ended up literally throwing the book across the room after less than 24 hours. The book said DD should be in bed at 7pm - she wasn't having any of that and only wanted to be cuddled and fed till about 11pm. I looked through the book to see what Gina's advice was when the baby didn't fall beautifully asleep at 7pm and there was none.

I ended up feeding on demand - sometimes for about 2 hours in the evening, and DD going to bed at about 11pm until she was about 6 weeks old. Then i gradually started putting her down earlier and earlier till she slept 9pm to 7 am with one feed in the early hours and eventually right through 7-7.

As soon as i stopped getting all these books out of the library and stressing about her not being a routine i felt great. as DH said

"she has got a routine - it's her one!"

lIghts off is the best non stimulating! Then they don't really open their eyes anyhow cos its all dark and warm. (I used to nod off in my chair, too, lol)

Gina Ford and CLB routines are almost guaranteed to polarise most children-centric forums. You can ask for only people who favour these routines to reply but to be honest its not going to happen, Mothers are passionate about child raising!

Before my son was born I read this book, I saw a few things I liked in her routines and a few things I didnt. So when my baby was born I borrowed a few things that helped us and forgot the rest (not even intentionally I just have a sh*te memory )   

At the end of the day I think the most important thing for a new mother to remember is that the first 6 / 12 weeks are freaking hard and things are extremely unlikely to just fall into place, both mother and baby are adjusting to their new roles which are like nothing they have ever experienced before.

If the routines work and you and baby respond well to them then GREAT but if not then its really really important that you follow your instincts, dont tourture yourself if you cant seem to make it work. Maybe even take a few weeks off and try them again at a later date.

I really dont want that to sound preachy and while you are your normal, well rested, calm self now before baby is here you no doubt think we are being patronising but it really comes from a good place, those first weeks can be so overwhelming that you can forget to go easy on yourself and the pressure of establishing a rountines can be so so stressful.

On the issue of DH getting to spend time with baby, I dont think this is just an issue with CLB, for the most part once DS was past 6 weeks old he was asleep for the night by 7pm, we'd be lucky if DH had walked in the door by then. I BFd and did all the night wakings (very low light and no talking, but a little eye contact but it was very dark mostly LOL), so DH really only saw baby for short periods during the week. For the first 6 weeks at least DH used a half day or whole day of his AL on a Friday so he could spend time with us.

DH showered with baby on the weekend for the first few months (yes just one bath a week for at least 3mths), takes over winding on the weekends, wears baby in a sling / wrap when out and about on the weekend. Lots of ways you can get Dad involved on the weekends

Edited by kiwikid