Numb

I started bleeding today and it has gotten heavier.
I am or was 4 weeks 5 days today.

I feel numb. I am totally blessed to have DS who is 3 and I know this is really early but I just feel so sad and disappointed.

I don't have a lot of family and I really didn't want DS growing up with out alot of family either, it saddens me to think of him as an only child and if something happened to DH and I or when we get old and die, he will be alone and that makes me so so sad.
I also feel so selfish as some people have no children and here I am being sad when it could be worse.

Im 36yrs, it took 2 yrs of trying to get DS and this is my 2nd miscarriage (Dec10 and now Mar11). I don't have time on my side! Life sux sometimes!

Is it still classed as a MC even though it was so early??

I am going to see my dr and see what he thinks about, I don't know actually, maybe some testing?? Or maybe I should wait?? Im just confused, numb but pee'd off and sad


(Sorry for the vent but I need to get it out)

edited coz I am actually 36! I would have been 37 if this pregnancy lasted.

Edited by pikelets

So sorry to hear that pikelets :(
Hope the doctor can offer some suggestions. hugs

Hugs. I know it is hard, and that you loved that wee life, no matter how early it was.

I know that numb feeling oh so well, its been a week and a half since I miscarried our precious wee bundle at what would have been 9 weeks. The hardest part for me is that DH doesnt want to try again so that was the last chance of having a week girl with him and a younger sibling to Riley as my older two kids are 9 and 12. Im 36 in May so know that if I ever convince DH we should try again I will be close if not at 37 by the birth so understand your worries about your age.

I'm with the other ladies, go and have a talk to your gp and see what they reccomend.

Thanks Ladies - you are all so kind. I am also so sorry to hear about your losses

I went to my DR yesterday. This is how it went, not well in my opinion...

I was teary and told him what had happened.
DR: Sooo you actually want a baby?
Me: Yes we do want a baby.
DR: Ok so you definitely want another baby???
Me: YES! (WTF??? was going on in my mind!)
So I told him about how I read it was a chemical pg as so early but I am panicking as we had probs with conceiving DS and now I am on a time limit with my age and I was suggested by MW to start to have some blood tests done and thats what Im hear for even if for).
Dr: so where did you read all that anyway about a "chemical pg"? (then starts looking on his computer)
Me : I said miscarriage support auckland
Dr: oh let me see if I can find it, oh I have found this website, it says....oh no, its american, oh now i have found one...
(Anyway by now I was getting really upset and angry)
Dr: ok well they suggest a lot of tests! Heres your form, check with your insurance and then I'll refer to an ob.

Then I went to get the tests done.....the lady said....ooohh you need quite a lot of tubes taken, do you usually faint?
WTF?? was in my mind again. This made me very nervous so after the 5 (or 6th) tube, I couldn't take it anymore and made her stop! I had to lay on the floor while she opened the door to the waiting room to copy the form. I then went back today for another 2 tubes!

What tests did you have done?? Was it a quizillion? I really need a new dr coz this one does my head in and has made me so upset about it! And I don't know if your dr asked you this but maybe it was the way he asked me (and it happened the first MC too with the scan lady)....so do you still "FEEL" pregnant?? That just upsets me so much - are people insensitve or am I just overreacting here??

(sorry this is long)

Some doctors have the bedside manner of a brick.

We'd had tests done before emigrating to NZ that showed I had very low progesterone. After my miscarriage when we got pregnant again they wouldn't do any tests to confirm it so I took anything I knew increased progesterone levels as well as baby aspirin (just because it does no harm but could possibly help).

You start feeling as though they want you to go through the pain of losing 3 babies before they'll show the slightest bit of care.

When we found out about the missed miscarriage I begged the doctor to do a scan to make sure and he said it wouldn't make any difference so I'd have to wait for one the following week if I really wanted it. And then he described a DnC procedure in extreme detail including "vacuuming" hand movements. A$$.

OMG Piklets!!!!!!

That is a helluva lot!!!!!

Maybe you had a whole heap of extra tests that aren't normally tested for (at least in the beginning)...??? Not sure what you had done...

My Doctor is on the ball and said that she (maybe try for a woman doctor) would just do the main tests, FSH/LH/Prolactin/Estidol on CD3 - one tube of blood, and progesterone/thyroid on 7DPO - one tube of blood. All came back in normal levels.

Maybe they tested you for one of everything since your doctor didn't know better. Down side - lots of tubes of blood, upside you have been tested for everything...

Not sure how many tubes will be required for my next lot of bloods, Thyroid/Prolactin/Cadiolipin/Lupus/Anticoag.

After this I get referred to specialist who may or may not require more bloodwork - but my doctor called the specialist and explained my case and the above tests were what he said he would test for.... so effectively the doctor has saved me the cost of one appointment - she is great...

My situation FYI - I'm 34 next month, DH is 40. DH has a daughter with previous partner. Have been trying for 6 cycles and got UTD on 2 occasions, lost both very early. So don't have a problem getting pregnant, just staying pregnant. Trying for my first. Had ultrasound and found 1 small fibroid which Dr said shouldn't hinder my fertility as only small... have abnormal bleeding and long cycles... so I'm old and have less chances!!!! Lovely!!!!

OMG you ladies are so awesome! I wish I could give each of you a big hug


It sux to hear that these professionals can be so damn right rude. Next time someone says something like that Im going to point it out to them!

Thanks for your advice and experiences. It really does help to know Im not the only one feeling this way or going through this.


Azza and Princessbubs - we are all on the shore - maybe we have the same dr! I have been meaning to get a female one for ages so I think its time for a change.

Edited by pikelets

Richard at Glenfield Medical centre ?

For the most part I have found him good though. My last doctor in St Heliers was a shocker, it took me 10 years to notice though. It wasn't until I took df along and he pointed out to me that she was googling my problems that I really realised something was up

I hope things get much much better for you soon Pikelets. Miscarriage is the pits xxxx

I had 10 tubes as well ... which I brought upon myself as it was testing for blood clotting - as I had read that 15% of miscarriage has to do with a clotting disorder.
Apparently a few years ago they used to test for more than one thing out of each tube but now don't so they have to take more blood.

The lady when I had this test done had no personality - I jokingly said "Am I going to have any blood left after this", to which she replied "Yes of course you will"...

OH Really - you don't say - lol -surely she didn't think I was serious!