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YvetteandElla 
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Joined: 06 April 2007
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 Topic: Sex
Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:22am |
Ok this may be a very weird issue, but I need to get it off my chest.
Am I abnormal I do not feel like sex at all being pregnant.
I have never had much of sex drive as I am on antidepressants but now it is much worse.
I feel like a failure as a wife 
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Bumble
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Joined: 27 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:27am |
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I never wanted sex when I was pg.... nor when I was on antidepressants too... You are not a failure. Does DH/DP understand what you are feeling??
The only time that I had sex when I was pg was at the end to soften the cervix... even then I didn't really enjoy myself....
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formerly known as "Bee"
Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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YvetteandElla
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:35am |
Yeah he is the best and the most understanding, he doesnt even ask for it.
It just makes me sad like we are missing something from our relationship.
it just sucks we have been togther a long time 10 years but only married for a year.
I have been on Anti D's for over 4 years so it is not a new issue it has just been made worse by being preggas.
My DH loved the 3 months when we were trying and wished we were trying for longer 
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kebakat
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:01am |
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I haven't felt like sex since about week 8 lol.. DH has just got use to the fact that my sex drive is non existant.
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BaAsKa
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:26am |
I lost mine completely after my first boy was born and i never got it back until he was 1.5 maybe 2yrs old!!!  but DH understood totally!! and it hasnt affected our relationship at all.
I wouldnt worry too much as it will pass even if it does take a while. I felt terrible for DH but he totally understood as im sure your DH does 
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peanut butter
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:44am |
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Thank god you asked this!! I am the same. I was told that by 20 weeks i would have these uncontrollable urges and would be waking DF up in the middle of the night.....still waiting! and now that I'm getting pain in my pubic bone I am soooooo not into it.
DF is really good about it as he's kind of gone off it too....thinks he's hurting baby.
but (TMI) we tried the other day and its ALL different.....we were in hysterics trying to work out how it all fits.
i just hope my drive comes back once bubs is here.
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EllenMumof2
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:44am |
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yes i must say every such i have been preggies with number 3 i have lost all interest and feel bad about it some times DP is great though and is very understanding
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caraMel
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:55am |
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I was a nymphomaniac when I was preggies with Ella, but when I was carrying Benjy I became the total opposite and didn't want it all.
Definitely not abnormal!
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Bel
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Joined: 02 March 2007
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:05am |
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This is an interesting one - I am not really wanting sex at the mo, but lots of people have told me the urge will come soon. DH doesn't believe that - he says I didn't get any m/s so why would I do any of the other normal things?
We are still 'doing it' but it is mostly for him, I am not worried about the baby, could just take or leave the whole experience at the moment is all.
Does that sound right?
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Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007)
Amy (01.04.2009)
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peanut butter
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:25am |
 Bel wrote:
Does that sound right? |
Seems to
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YvetteandElla
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 11:30am |
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I am now so glad I posted this message - I now feel normal and we all should be so glad that our DH/Dp's are so understanding.
I suppose with men if they know we are not that interested they are not also. I am just lucky DH is not pushy
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busymum
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 12:03pm |
I find in the first trimester I go off it if I'm feeling nauseous or really exhausted (and I don't even get ms!). In the second trimester it's pretty good, so long as we keep it up and don't go for too long without. In the third trimester, well it takes a bit to get used to making love around a basketball But I couldn't go without for a whole year so I give it my best! DH is pretty understanding, especially in the couple of months after baby is born.
I usually find my drive is linked to my AF cycle so in the time between birth and AF coming back, that's my "flattest" time.
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MyMinis
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 12:36pm |
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with haleigh i wanted it and df didnt till the end (only to try get her out).
this time round ive gone totally off it esp since i started getting sore in the pelvic area.
df asks and gives a wee sulk then gives me a hug and goes to sleep hehe.
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Bumble
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 1:26pm |
When I was pg, cos I didn't want it and felt a bit guilty...I would "help out" with DH... 
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formerly known as "Bee"
Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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.Mel
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 4:42pm |
I have had no urge whatsoever for probably the past 10weeks I could not think of anything worse to be honest. I think hubbie understands I'm happy to have cuddles in bed, but stop it before it goes any further..
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Candkids
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 6:44pm |
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i totally lost my sex drive with both pregnancies, lucky hubbys really understanding and says hes just happy with lots of cuddles and knowing that im getting rest.
i think the wanting it all the time thing is a bit of a myth, i have had 7 friends who have had children in the last 18mths and only 1 of said she wanted sex all the time all the others said it wasnt on the adjenda.
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 DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above
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bookwyrm
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Posted: 14 May 2007 at 8:56am |
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I am the opposite. My sex drive has doubled. But I am not that far along (still in first trimester) so it is possible mine will drop off as baby grows and get more uncomfortable. I hope it doesnt... c'est la vie.
Tara
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aleisha
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Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:28am |
Yep im on baby number 5 and sure enough the whole pregnancy i havnt felt like it once.I still do it every 3 or 4 days just to shut him up as hes not really all that understanding . its easier to just get it over with.But yeah no real involvement from me or enthusiasim at all. But it does come back after babys are born.However i found everytime it did take around a year or longer afterwards even.This time especially im really worried about hurting the baby.Everyone tells you they cant feel it etc.But how can that be???I recon they must be really annoyed when there getting there heads poked!!!LOL
 
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YvetteandElla
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Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:47am |
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Wow aleshia you should have a word with that hubby of yours, to tell him how you feel, I sure he would rather not have sex than be doing it if you really dont enjoy it
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aleisha
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Posted: 14 May 2007 at 10:09am |
LOL Trust me he would still rather do it than not even if im not enjoying it! Its not that i really mind or anything like that its easier to just let him do it anyway.He actually gets really grumpy after about 3 days if he hasnt had sex.And its not that he means to or is annoyed with me at all for not wanting to.He totally understands that it must be uncomfortable while pregnent. But hes just one of those men that NEEEDS to have sex.Or his brain goes all funny!!!LOL
And honestly at the moment i dont mind too much as someone else said earlier as its supposed to bring on labour???
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