being judged

i get judged as i am quite young(21 next month) and i was pg at 17, gave birth at 18. i always get people going 'u are to young to have a baby' or something along those lines...
sometimes if tash is really in a moody i feel rather embrassed when she lies on the ground and throws a full blowen tantie. i get the most evil looks from other people in the shop

Totally! Although to be honest I find it so much better over here than in NZ. Might be because DD is older now so is over her terrible 2 phase and isn't playing up in the mall etc like she used to, but even when I came back to visit in March I really noticed the difference to the types of looks I got.

I don't think I am any harder or softer on her in public because of it though- I figure the type of people that judge me because of a split second of my childs behaviour aren't really people whose opinion I am going to value either.

Yep, I do. Because Ella doesn't always behave well when we are out, she can be quite rough with other kids (but not in a mean way, she just gets excited) So I sometimes have to talk harshly to her, and I get backwards glances sometimes. Other times I get positive comments or smiles from old people.
I used to feel judged because I was (am) a young mum, but I'm over that. I know I'm a good mum and anyone who thinks otherwise can get stuffed

I tend to feel like my girls are being judged by their appearance if we go anywhere after daycare!! behaviour usually isn't too bad. but after daycare i am conscious of it.. especially cos me and mike dont dress to the 9's.. we just have jeans and tops etc.. the girls home/good clothes are great but after daycare or whatever.. it's trackies and skivvys and woolen knitted jerseys made very kewl-with-love from nana. the are sometimes covered in who knows what and look filthy. and you can just see that sometimes no matter how well behaved they are.. people look at you as if to say "hhhm look at those lower-class people who don't even have nice clothes or clean their kids!!" don't care as much now as i used to.. but usually if we are going anywhere planned after daycare.. i will take some wipes and a full change of clothes for the girls as well as a hairbrush to clean em all up!   

I think since being a parent myself i try not to judge etc on a snapshot glimpse cos mostly you can see the ones that really are like that constantly and tell the difference between ones that are just having a bad day or a terrible twos moment, lol. funny how things change.

I have found that mike comments though especially if he sees a baby up town.. "look at that, no hat, no socks, no blanket.. " sometimes it's even just new parents that have not got quite as much idea.. lol.. I do remember a bank teller saying to me when paris was young "well done, you are the only mum i have seen in here today at all that has a hat on their baby and has it wrapped up" i was terribly surprised as it was a hella cold day! made me feel special lol..

Edited by mum2paris

Haha with mine its the exact opposite! She goes to a private nursery so has this posh little school uniform that is always immaculate whenever I pick her up (don't know how they keep them so clean!)-plus I have to do her hair in plaits as its so curley it turns into a mess if I don't. So whenever I take her out after nursery in that I get these looks like I'm a snob or something Can't win!

Can so relate to the 'done up' mums on the kindy run. Some of them look like they've just stepped off a magazine cover at 8.30am in the morning! I have no idea how they do it- I'm proud of myself if I manage to fit a shower in before I drop her off

I don't feel judged about that but sometimes a bit self-conscious.

The thing that I do feel judged about sometimes, is having three kiddies so close together. And Hannah's not particularly tall so they probably look even closer together than they are! Then you get the cheeky comments about no TV etc, from people who know you a little bit, and you really get bad ideas about what people think!

Yes, we want lots of children. Yes, we know how to stop when we want to. Yes, we do actually know what contracaeption is

All the time. I used to feel that if Ella was misbehaving people would judge how I handled it and that I had to make a show of how I went about it. Now I have learned not to care quite as much, but I still have to make sure the kids have nice clothes on when we go to my inlaws!

Maya wrote: I probably wear makeup once or twice a week if I'm lucky, and today I even went to Countdown in my hori trackies

lol I have always made a point of getting changed to go to the supermerket, even if its a quick trip! But one day I decided bugger it, I'll just go in my trackies, who cares. Well I saw one lady there I knew (one of the more upper class types here) and she so obviously looked me up and down, I was so embarrassed!!

meow wrote: mum2paris wrote: I tend to feel like my girls are being judged by their appearance if we go anywhere after daycare!! Oh I find that now too! I don't change Ellas clothes after creche, we usually come home right after I pick her up, but sometimes pop to the shops or supermarket.. and I always put her in clothes that already have stains on them hehe.. I wonder if people think "wow, that kid is a mess". What's the point of changing them though, it's just more washing!

Haha that's me too... Han wears the most hideous outfits to creche, most days I try to better the last by adding clashing colours or as much pink fluff as I can muster from the hand-me-downs I've recieved which I use for creche. But now I go on the bus home so feel like every single person I see is staring at my daughter and thinking - young trashy mum. Well, not completely... not too phased as I haven't changed anything.

But anyway, glad to hear it isn't just an age thing. Maybe I need to get over my complex about being a young mum!

As far as behaviour goes, not too worried about general tantrums. Get a bit embarrassed when I catch myself screeching at Han... but it is really terrible when she is horrible to other kids (quite often )

Perfect arrangement reciprocal nastiness!
Yep, will call in a sec