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EthansMummy View Drop Down
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    Posted: 26 June 2007 at 10:01am
Im having some issues with my sex drive its non existant and is starting to cause issues between me and DF.

Has this happened to anyone else?? I was fine until a month or two ago.

Have tried "spice it up" things but it just doesn't help.

Any ideas?

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Ethan     29/08/2006
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mummy_becks View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummy_becks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 10:12am
Same here. Are you still BF as I think that has a lot to do with it for me.
I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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jack_&_charli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 10:32am
i haven't had a sex drive since i had jack   poor DH   it does cause abit of trouble between us but i really don't know what to do about it

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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 10:43am
None here either. I'm wondering if breastfeeding could have something to do with it. I also wonder if it might return a bit when AF arrives. I haven't had it back yet (Elle is 10mths) but the dreaded hormonal bloat is paying me a visit so I think it's on its way.

No tips sorry!
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BaAsKa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BaAsKa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 10:51am
Yup i lost my sex drive altogether when my first son was 4 months old but it was due to getting hypothyroidism apparently . Even when my HT went away i still had no sex drive and was told that the more you do it the more your libedo will return so thats what we did (helped that we were TTC at the time! lol) and all is back to normal now!!....and hopefully the same thing wont happen again after this bubs!

Iv spoken to sooooo many people who have gone through the same thing and like me their stints were lasting for years!! but im sure your DH understands, i know that my DH was getting so frustrated! and it made for alot of fights! but when i spoke to him about him he really did understand but couldnt help but show frustration sometimes.

It does get better....
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baalamb View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote baalamb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 11:46am
I'm going to put a different slant on things. I find my DH much more 'appealing' when he helps me out around the house instead of me feeling like I have to do it all the time. At the end of a long day taking care of Ashlee and then working in the evenings, I don't feel like 'rewarding' him with anything if there's been nothing done around the house.

I also know that I need to work on myself in regards to self esteem and self confidence in order to get my sex drive back up to speed.
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peanut butter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 11:55am
I wonder if it will ever come back for me but I figure people have more than 1 child so it must I have been having little thoughts lately about it but now I wonder when can it start to bring on labour as I am not ready for bubs just yet
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kellverona View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kellverona Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 12:38pm

heya Linelle,

Ive been like that too. I think mainly cos Im still breastfeeding and have my own issues about my body image. When I dont feel sexy I dont feel like sex. Its silly cos DH still finds me sexy and that is really all that matters.

I feel like if I never have sex again I dont care but DH is understanding and when we do it its nice and quick, hehe. The way i like it these days. As much as I enjoy it ,,, i just dont have the energy like i used to.

I hope my normal sex drive does return some time soon.

I reckon there is alot of us Mums out there that feel the same...


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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 12:54pm
Yup I think it's pretty common. Are you still bf or waking in the nights? They have a huge part to play in your exhaustion which in turn affects your "feeling like it". It's good to be honest about it but I feel sorry for DH when I'm in that place so I try hard to get in the mood for him. Gosh this is a TMI subject LOL! One thing that really helps me is that after the baby has gone to bed for the night we might do a little bit of kissing and then I'll excuse myself to have a little bit of "me" time in the shower, that helps me have a bit of space and recharge and then I put on something which helps me feel sexy lol (not flanelette! ) and usually enjoy it after then!

The other thing I find is that once my AF returns I get back into the hormonal swing of things and the mood rises and falls help somehow. And doing it at least 1-2 times a week helps to not get "stale". Dunno how that works but the more we have it, the better it gets LOL
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 1:03pm
i misplaced mine after my second child, and i'm still looking for it ... sometimes some of it comes back but never for very long...

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fattartsrock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 1:09pm
Mine was removed during the birth of Jacob, and replaced with supersonic hearing... DH is planning on putting up a missing/reward poster...
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mamanee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 1:34pm
I'm randier than god knows what at the moment so I can't help you out there.

Even at 3AM when I've had no sleep, I feel like crap and my caesar scar hurts, I still want to do it!



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AndysMummy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AndysMummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 1:35pm
So nice to read this as I've been feeling very stink. I've got no mojo AT ALL! Last night DH kindly pointed out that we've only done IT twice (thanks to 2 days of weeeeird preggie hormones!)in our new house! We've been here for about 15 MONTHS!!!

In the latest Treasures mag I saw a calender that has rewards or something for when you've .... Might be worth a go ...
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fattartsrock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 1:37pm
hahahahaha, I'd be up for that calender, but didn't see it! *hunts out treasures* am always up for a "reward"
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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jack_&_charli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 1:55pm
Originally posted by gandt gandt wrote:

i misplaced mine after my second child, and i'm still looking for it ... sometimes some of it comes back but never for very long...



it was obviously back for long enough

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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 2:06pm
Originally posted by jack_&_charli jack_&_charli wrote:

Originally posted by gandt gandt wrote:

i misplaced mine after my second child, and i'm still looking for it ... sometimes some of it comes back but never for very long...



it was obviously back for long enough


LOL That's what I thought!
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EthansMummy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EthansMummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 4:20pm
Good to know I am not the only one. I can understand about the self confidence thing - I don't feel sexy at the moment.

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Ethan     29/08/2006
Brooke   22/09/2008
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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 5:36pm
Yeap - i'd agree on the confidence thing. I have my own set of body issues and I'm sure that plays a big part.
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 7:09pm
I'm just too tired all the time. I know that sounds like a lame excuse, but I am so physically tired after looking after the kids etc. but my brain doesn't shut down so easily so I find myself wide awake with no energy to even initiate anything with Willie but still not able to sleep.
Good to know he's not the only man being starved tho - I'll have to let him know!
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lizzle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2007 at 8:25pm
I'm so glad I can now tell my hubby that NO he is NOt the only man in NZ not doing it every night!!! My sex drive is non-existant. I will claim Taine to be a miracle baby.
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