Smokers handling Babies?

Hi - there is probably an element of first time mummy paranoia here, but I am wondering how to manage smokers around the baby once he arrives. We are strictly a non-smoking household, but my step-father, brother and SIL all smoke - they are always very considerate and sit outside on the deck, but I am worried about them cuddling and handling the baby after they have been smoking. I know that the chemicals linger on their clothes for a long time after they have had their cigarettes.....but dont want to come across as being too paranoid or bolshy about it.

I have also had a "talk" with my mum about the baby travelling in their car as my step-father smokes in the car, and I just dont want to expose his little lungs to all those nasties. I have asthma so am also extra vigilant about him developing this at some stage!!

Has anyone else had to deal with a similar situation - and how did you manage the conversations?

 

I deal with it everyday & get over it- just wash my hands & brush my teeth. I know its on my clothes & hair & dont do it in my home or car

People should respect your opinions & ideas tho

kebakat - did you ask him to do that or is it something he has just done himself?

 

I am kind of hoping that my mum will be the same......but its hard...my step-father is in his 70's and kind of stuck in his ways a bit, so I feel uncomfortable having those sorts of conversations with him. Also he smokes in their house, but not when I am there, but the smell lingers a far bit - should I be worried about that do you think?

am i just being too paranoid?

 

I dont think you are too paranoid. And I know I am going to step on some parents toes here right now but this is my opinion and you dont have to have the same one and this is what I did with my child.

My mother is a heavy smoker so I grew up totally anti smoking. I never smoked before. Hubby tried once and is seriously anti smoking as well. If we go to someone elses home that smoke while I was pregnant I just left the house if they were smoking and usually didnt stay too long. Their house their rules.

In my own home they knew to go smoke outside and not to come back until they are totally finished.

Once baby arrived everyone knew that while she was that small if you are a smoker dont even come close to her or hold her at all. It stays in the clothes. They breath it in and there has been studies that link this to cot deaths. So didnt care if it was fact or not. I wasnt taking the chance.

My mother only found out about my daughter at 9 months of age (a long story) and I told her straight out if she smokes she smokes outside (in my dads house) and when she comes in to change all her clothes and wash her hands. I got her so far as to wash her hands ect but she soon realise I was keeping McKayla away from her and started making other changes.

Now that she is a bit bigger I keep her away from people that smoke. Wont let her drive at all with someone that smokes. Smokers are welcome in my house but they smoke outside and generally people dont try and pick her up as she isnt that small anymore.

I dont ask people outright if they are smokers but if I smell it then I just put McKayla in the bath afterwards.

Just make rules simple for everyone. And I dont think that you are paranoid. You are entitled to your own opinion.

My dad smokes. We don't let him hold Noah after having a smoke - my mum was the one that told him that though. We go over there most Sundays for lunch so dad makes sure that he hasn't had a smoke and is freshly showered just before our arrival and has his cuddles with Noah then. It works pretty well. I wouldn't let anyone hold him if I could smell cigarettes on them though but luckily we don't really know many smokers. Good luck.

Me and Hubby have a background in asthma and bronchitis so I have stayed a non-smoker in fear that Olivia will flare up with something awful.
My bestest mummy friend is a smoker and she is always giving Olivia cuddles, she is what I would call a contentious smoker and takes it outside and refuses to smoke around her own child.
I must admit that as a smoker I do know that by being a non-smoker and having a smoke free home, that I am offering O the absolute best possible scenario. And that if issues come from outside my jurisdiction (e.g great Aunty Mariel who smokes cigars everywhere but in my house) then I have done all I can to ensure she is safe. Maybe her own defenses that I have been helping build by not doing the smoking thin,g will win over all of the bad stuff that she could ever be exposed to.
As for traveling in the car I would put my foot down if it meant that much to me. Alas I am sure anyone I know would understand that I would be full of wrath and life endangering rage, if they ever enclosed my child in their smoke ridden car and lit up (so no one does).
HTH

Wow SimSam, I could have written your post - I have the same concerns about our wee one and smokers.. and I have asthma too.

It's interesting to read everyone's responses so far and I'm be interested to read more thoughts as well.. how would smokers feel about being spoken to about concerns?

Surely if they smoke and are visiting you in your own home, they can go without for that whole visit and then have one when they are leaving? Seems like common courtesy to me.

I think you definitely have to make it very clear that your home is non smoking, and if they are that desparate for one, they have to outside, and won't be able to handle baby afterwards.

Your house your rules.

Im an ex-smoker. my best friends sister visited her while i was there and my friend explained that smoking at all before picking up the baby was a big no-no and she told me the rules before i got my hands on the baby. I never for one minute thought she was being over-protective, and plus, id have a heck of an arguement if i tried to defend myself and tell her that smoking is harmless :)
There is also nothing worse than picking up a baby and the baby smelling of smoke. Its just horrible and wrong. stick to your guns :)