My Breastfeeding Rant

I could have wrote that entire post.

Good on you. I feel very strongly about all that you have said and posted something similar about a month ago called 'My breastfeeding Confession'.

I know what you mean about the label on the can - when I first saw that I wondered what on earth I was putting into my baby. I chose to stop BF when Charlotte was the same age as Spencer and you know what? It was the best damned thing I ever did. She was so much happier, became really alert and started sleeping so much better. It also meant that DH could enjoy feeding her too! Overall, it was a positive move.

I was lucky that no one ever really said anything about it but still, there is that stigma attached.

Today I have a lovely nearly 18 month old who is happy, healthy and still loves her formula (!). She is advanced for her age, growing like a trooper and totally blows me away every day.

So don't stress it - he is your baby and ultimately its your decision.

Edited by GeorgiaB

well dont read the label on the can then. Its obviously not there for you, but those who havent consulted with dr's etc and maybe it is the same warning on a can that is sold in any other country in the world.   

In some countries bottle feeding can be poisonous.

If you are secure in your decision then you shouldnt let a can make you feel guilty.

I dont care if people bottle feed but do get sick of them blaming their guilt on other people just cause they think they are giving them a dirty look in the mall.!   

GandT wrote: well dont read the label on the can then. Its obviously not there for you, but those who havent consulted with dr's etc and maybe it is the same warning on a can that is sold in any other country in the world.    In some countries bottle feeding can be poisonous. If you are secure in your decision then you shouldnt let a can make you feel guilty. I dont care if people bottle feed but do get sick of them blaming their guilt on other people just cause they think they are giving them a dirty look in the mall.!

Exactly where in the world is feeding your baby formula poisonous? and I have just checked and the can is only distrubuted in NZ and OZ.

You might not care if people bottle feed their babies but a lot of other people are ready to make comment. I had a lady shout across a cafe at me "I hope your nursing that baby", I've also had comments made by checkout staff and other shoppers when I've bought formula, and even my plunket nurse made a stupid random comment about latching, which was not the reason I stopped as latching was never an issue.

Perhaps you should give your baby a bottle of EBM in public and then you might understand, its easy to say don't care what other people think but its a lot harder to put in to practice.
The rational part of me thinks its my decision and I don't give a damn, but the emotional part of me is still affected by peoples stupid heartless comments.

cuppatea wrote: GandT wrote: well dont read the label on the can then. Its obviously not there for you, but those who havent consulted with dr's etc and maybe it is the same warning on a can that is sold in any other country in the world.    In some countries bottle feeding can be poisonous. If you are secure in your decision then you shouldnt let a can make you feel guilty. I dont care if people bottle feed but do get sick of them blaming their guilt on other people just cause they think they are giving them a dirty look in the mall.!    Exactly where in the world is feeding your baby formula poisonous?

in third world countries where there is no hygienic water supply formula feeding is killing babies!

No matter wether you breastfeed or bottle feed your baby in public you will get comments and stares. Some people dont get anyone feeding a baby anything in public and believe babies should be at home ... have you not seen/heard breastfeeders going on about lack of facilities to feed and rude stares and comments from strangers cause they dare to feed their baby in public?

No matter what you do (as nikki so rightly said) you will be judged. How you react and choose to deal with that is up to you.

For the record tho i have never given my babies a bottle and have fed in public but have never gotten a stare or rude comment and have been out with bottle feeding mums also and never seen a rude stare or comment to that either. I believe some people attract negative feedback by what they are putting out there, wether consciously or not!      

Lulu wrote: Don't rise to other people's opinions. If you are happy with your decision, then be happy! People will always have opinions from everything from what you feed your baby, to whether you let them cry it out to go to sleep, whether you routine or demand feed, etc etc. As intelligent caring parents, know that you are making the best decision for you and your children and stop feeling like you have to be self righteous and explain yourself. It may come across as defensive.

What she said!

As for the labelling of formula cans, you can bet your bottom dollar that if it was up to them, the manufacturers would NOT put those "warnings" on the tins. It's mandated by law here in NZ, in Australia and in most other OECD countries that subscribe to the policies of the World Health Organisation. You'll find very similar labelling on breast milk substitutes in the UK, Europe and the US. WHO has very strict protocols on the use, sale and advertising of formula, and take a very pro-breastfeeding stance, bearing in mind that because they are the "World" health organisation they are also responsible for overseeing practises in third world/underdeveloped countries where formula feeding CAN be lifethreatening, and where breastfeeding, as well as being 'safer', also acts as a temporary contraceptive.

I'm not going to take sides in the formula vs. breastfeeding debate. I've done both, I agonised over the decision to wean all three of my girls and weaned all of them before I was ready, but I can honestly say I have never, never had anyone criticise my decision. When I was breastfeeding I did so in public and was never told it was 'disgusting' and now that I am bottlefeeding I've never had a negative comment about it. I personally would never comment on anyne bottle feeding for a number of a reasons, not in the least that I bottle fed the gremlins EBM for 10 weeks so how do we even know what is IN the bottle we see someone feeding their baby.

To be honest, I think we need to move on and stop beating ourselves up for our 'failures'. The older Maya gets the more I see that the little things don't matter so much. I cried for days when I weaned her at 10 months and felt like I was the worst mother in the world, now I look at her playing alongside her friends at preschool and I never even stop to think which ones might have been breastfed and which ones might have been formula fed. It doesn't matter.

We all do the best we can, and while we might not get the perfect pregnancy, the perfect birth, the perfect sleeper, perfect feeding, we DO get a perfect baby, OUR baby and at the end of the day isn't that all that matters?

*puts away her soapbox*

I agree that you don't seem to be able to get it "right" whatever you do! I'm breastfeeding, and for a good 3 months now I've been getting so sick of getting asked when I'm weaning or giving formula that I actively avoid some people now.

You are feeding your baby full stop. That's really the main thing.

For what it's worth, I am working on getting some formula feeding info together for OHbaby!, I'm just trying to ten things at once so haven't quite got there yet. But I promise it is on my to do list!

Thats terrible what is going on in Africa, some companies just have no morals, but in all fairness it is the water supply not the formula killing them and also there are seperate instructions on the importance of making the formula up correctly this is quite different to the breastmilk warning which shouldn't be a warning as far as i am concerned.

I fully agree that breastfeeding is normally best and I know that there is a big push for us all to do it but that is half the problem, now anyone who can't or doesn't want to is made to feel bad about. Perhaps I have just been unlucky with some of the comments that I have had, unfortunately for me I am lacking in some support as all my family is in the UK and so are the majority of my friends (who all supported my decision) and the people that are suppose to support you like your LMC and plunket have both made me feel like crap (I hadn't even started formula feeding while still seeing LMC but she made me feel bad for introducing bottle feeding EBM to him, she actually made me cry and only backed off when DH asked her to explain exactly what was so wrong with it).

I really do wish that I could of fed him till 12 months like I had planned when pregnant but sometimes these things just don't work out and there is a great lack of understanding out there behind the reasons for why women stop, it seems that everyone is so concerned with babies getting breastmilk that they don't stop to think about the health of the mother.

My GP said that midwives and plunket sometimes forget there is a women attached to the breasts and I think that a truer word has never been spoken!!!

Don't worry, cuppatea, it gets easier.  Not only will people's ignorant and nosey comments get fewer and far-between as Spencer gets older, but you'll be further away from all the difficult emotions attatched to your decision, so even if another dirty look or silly comment does come your way, it'll be easier to brush it off or just bite their head off for fun!