Daycare

Well my boys aren't in care now but when Andrew was some of the best parts were the cuddles I got when I picked him up. I began to appriecate the weekends.

Bad things when I had to leave quickly and not able to settle him in coz I had to get away for a class asap. It wasn't nice leaving him there crying but 5 minutes later he was fine (so I was told) and got over me leaving real fast.

Def start looking around at centres and make sure you get one that you like.

Choosing was kinda straight-forward for me as i took the girls to the ucol daycare which was where i was studying. Paris was 11mths old and i was so worried cos she was scared of everybody really at that point. It was hard at first she would cry when i left and cry when i came back, but as i walked out and walked across the carpark i would often see her through their big windows already playing happily at some activity on her teachers knee.

I was worried about them bonding with teachers more than me, and worried about missing their firsts especially ayja who started daycare at only 11 weeks old. But it seriously is a different kind of bond, far different to mummy's and daddy's. It's like what you have with your friends kids, or nieces and nephews, you know, it's all fun you care for them but there's not the emotional thing happening, and the same with the kids, at the end of the day you're the one they want and they know you as mummy.

For settling, i tried never to do the stay forever thing, cos it made things worse and delayed the inevitable. The best thing to do, which was advice we were given when paris moved to the big kids section, was to make a routine so the child clearly knew the end point at which you would leave, and let them know a clear time at which you would return - this should work well for Jack at his age. For us it is choosing, we either read 1 book, or do 1 puzzle with them (something with a very clear end point), then a kiss and a cuddle and remind them what time you'll be picking them up, for our girls they know it's just after afternoon-tea time, (a time is a bit hard to comprehend for them at that age but an activity or event that's around that time give's them something to wager it by once they get to know the daycare's routines) For the first while you might need help with this, as in alerting a teacher that you'll be leaving after this book or whatever so that they can encourage them to come to them, it also helps them bond with one teacher in particular if its the same time each day and the same teacher for a while so that they get used to that and at least find comfort with that person.

As for choosing daycares, look for places that yes, do have neat stuff to do, but look at the children and teachers, it's all good to have neat equipment but look and see if the teachers look sandpitted/painted, messed up, do they run around with the kids, do they get down on the floor and play, do the kids look generally well managed or are they left to tend to their own devices and wander about aimlessly. A good time to visit is usually once during the afternoon, when sleep time is, to see how arrangements go with that, and around morning time because you can see if they have activities set out for the kids, tends to be one of the busy times of the day and you get a good feel for what the routine is and how kids are provided for.

Also look for teachers that look like they genuinely care for your kids and their well-being, I think a big thing for me was the fact that my friend since we were 2 yrs old, ended up being the key-teacher for paris and then for ayja once she started, i knew and trusted her with all my heart and it really felt like my kids had a 2nd mum there sometimes, she told it to us straight and helped us sort things out and work towards goals with the girls (like teaching paris to roll and crawl once she went from bum shuffling to walking - because we both knew how important it was for her to learn those things). Look for signs of programme planning and goals and evaluation too, most places have boards up with what they are working on that month and the activities they are doing with the kids.. that's a good place to look to.

Hope that helps and hasn't bombarded you with too much.
good luck

That's totally ok. With seeing them at lunch, see how you go, sometimes during the settling period, going in at lunch will kinda just upset them all over again. and make it harder for them to get through the days routines cos just around lunch time is usually when, well, most kids have lunch then go sleep.. if you go around then it could either disrupt their lunch or sleep time with them getting upset and unsettled again.. It kinda makes it hard.   I made the Baaaad mistake of this, when I had Ayja, and was going and breastfeeding her constantly cos she was so little - for the first while Paris was still in the under-2 section, i would have to make sure she didn't see me otherwise it would mess her up for the rest of the day -even though by that stage settling her was pretty much just opening the door in the mornings and watching her run for the sandpit.. is she saw me when i went to feed ayja that was it.. I would make sure she wasn't around, knock on the door to the section and someone would bring ayja out to the lounge thing they had between the two sides and i'd feed her there.

I know it helps to think you can visit in the middle of the day, but unless you're still feeding, I'd probalby advise against it.. it drags out the process of teaching them that you go, and then come back and then it's home time, instead you go, you come back, and then you go again and they're still there. easier thing to do is once you know your timetables, is to see what days you finish early, or have half-days, and have "date" days.. we do this with our girls, I will pick a week where ihave 2 weekdays off in a row, and have one at home each day with me so we get just us time (important since Ayja's always had to share her time with us with her sister) We now go and do little things in town like have a muffin and a fluffy and something little from $2 shop, go library or such like. it's nice to have those days.

Thanks you guys.

Just a question since Jack over 2 and Caprece is under will they be allowed to play together if they want? Or is it totally separated.

I had a talk to one of the mums and playcentre today and it wasn't the best idea, so know I'm thinking about leaving it a year

Hey KA any daycares you have heard really bad things about?

most preschools are seperate..there are some that are mixed and some that you can play together but not very many..and they probably wont want to after a little while anyway but we always used to let them through if they wanted to for a little while..

lol.. yes Rach but dont really want to post it as some people will disagree:) its not so much about bad places but some big places are more about numbers etc than being all about the children.. I'm so picky i dont know how i would find a suitable one for my baby!:)

ultimately it depends what you are looking for i guess?

Am pming you now Kaww

Thanks everyone it really helps knowing others feel the same as me and it all worked out well