Fostering Children

Ever since I was a teenager I have always had the desire to foster a child. My mum has worked for many years in social work type roles (CYFS and the Childrens Commission) and some of the stories that she has told me (no names or anything, just general stuff) totally breaks my heart. The one story that really did it for me, was about a little boy who was removed from a very very horrible home just before Christmas, who told my mum that the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world for Christmas was a mummy who loved him

Well, I now feel that in a year or two, once Joshie is a bit older, that I would like to start fostering. We have a lovely home, a stable family and enough money to bring another child into our family. I've flagged it to DP a few times, and while he is not quite as keen as me, I'm pretty sure that he will get there.

My question is: Do any of you lovely ladies currently foster, or know of others who do? What are the downsides? How do you know when it is the right time for your family? What can you do to prepare your biological children for the addition to the family of a child that has come from an unstable or horrible background?

Any comments are welcome!

TIA

i commend you and wish there were more people like you. I work in a role where foster parents are praised daily and am sure your mum will fill you in on a lot too.

Contact your local CYFS office or - and name will come to me and i will PM you (they have office in onehunga just past the sppedway and along from shell)....who set up foster parents. You will get training and then be ready cause we are always wanting people to foster short and long term...just the other day i heard about twins and they were desp to find a family to take them....

it will be rewarding but also hard - and you will need to ensure that you are all taken care of as the battles with natural parents even with cyfs help can emotionally take it out of you.
all the best - and for what you are considering.....

This is something I'm also considering for the future. If your DH is not keen yet, why don't you look into Barnados in the meantime? It's just for daytimes rather than 24/7 care.

there was an 'older' lady in baby factory the other day when i was there and she had a foster bub that was only 4-5wks old.......made me wonder if that's what i should do, but i don't think i could handly it emotionally

Maya's best friend was a foster kid who is now Permanently Placed with her "parents". She's been with them since she was 6 mths, and her full biological brother who is 11 is also in the same home. The kids call their foster parents mum and dad and have very little to do with their bio parents, haven't seen them in all the time we've known the family and that's 4 years.
They haven't had toooo many probs with the 5 year old (maya's friend) apart from her being very hyperactive and she also had a lot of allergies from being fed inappropriate foods at a very early age,but they have had huge issues with the 11 year old. They got him when he was 4 and he had already been in a number of homes (they placed hime with family members but it never worked out) and has huge attachment and trust issues, they've also had behavioural problems including stealing from local shops, aggression and inappropriate sexual behaviour. They've spent a fortune on different types of therapy, counselling etc. and are still doing so, he recently went on a Police-run camp for at-risk kids and really enjoyed it.
Not sure if this helps or not, but I think that had they gotten J as young as they got N they would have had a far easier road, but just the same I think my friend and her DH find it really rewarding, especially as she was only able to have one bio child of her own (he's now 20).

Open HOme - thats the one i was trying to remember!

They do a lot of CYFS placements...altho be VERY clear whether or not permanent placement is something you will consider or not - or whether you want to do respite care or foster for short or long periods...some kids return to families, some will fight all the way and others will be a permanent part of your family for the rest of your life.