Single Mum-To-Be

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this website, 11 weeks pregnant and have just left my partner in Auckland and moved back to Christchurch.

It has been an awful lot to cope with being pregnant and having the guts to put myself and the baby first and then moving. I figured it was probably better being on my own than being with someone who is physically and mentally abusive.

Would love to chat with anyone else in a similar situation.

Ange

oh hunny i was on the road u r onand now have a 9 month old cuddly boy named james if u want to talk just pm me and i,ll get back to ya (not physical abuse but mental)oh and one more thing u are very brave to put your self and bubs before anything eles

Hey there Chicky
All I can say is good on you.   I was in a physically and mentally abusive relationship with my ex and fell preggers to him. Unlike you though I didnt have the strength to leave him until after my boys were born even thou I caught him naked in the shower with a woman and he assaulted me putting me in hosp and bringing on the early arrival of my boys. I was so scared of having two babies on my own.
So I have been raising my boys on my own with the last contact from their dad being nov 04. Sometimes I really hate him for chosing to not be apart of their lives but mostly I am glad that he just leaves us alone.

Anyway I used to be really embarrassed about how I let him treat me and ultimately our unborn babes but now I am proud that I have become strong and no longer let him control me or affect my boys.
You be proud that have the courage to walk away from him. Hold your head up high and be strong

Hey Ange
Good on you for leaving. I havent been in an abusive relationship but come from one and my earliest memories are not pleasant, you have definately done the best thing for your bubs. Do you know people in chch? Thats where I live if you ever want to chat pm me.

I did this HUGE post when you first did this topic and then my internet crashed on me (joys of country life!)

Anyway the gist (or jist!) of what I said is my ex best mate has a 10 month old daughter, has been in an abusive relationship since the start (emotional then when bub was born physical) - the police have been involved but "Bob" (my ex mate - false name!) backed her bf up even though he was on P as well... Has lost all her friends, only has one now and I think that is because she is doing P as well..
Anyway "BOB" is no where near the person she was - a result of what is happening to her.

WELL DONE on leaving! People will say to you "bubs needs a dad" but what you need is people who love and care about you and will be there for you. Support from other people is better then a dad / partner who "doesn't care" - Later on you will meet someone else who will love bub as their own... There is hope out there and all the best!!

Sorry about the mini novel.. I just have a strong despise for abusive partners!!

Thanks for all your messages of support.

I have my parents and sister here in Christchurch for support and a couple of friends so I do have a support base.

I am certainly glad I left but it still hurts. I am 34 and it is my first baby and after trying for 2 years in my late 20's to get pregnant and then trying for another 8 months this time round (ended up having surgery) to finally be pregnant was a very emotional experience. I really want this baby and may never get another chance to have children so the baby really is a gift.

Does anyone know of any support groups for single mums?

Take Care

Ange

yeah heres the only onei no off and the girls r wicked will help u with anything u want/need advice on

Hey, Im a single mum to my daugher Summer (two) and just wanted to say Im here if ya need me too, and the girls on here are great! :-)

Theres an organisation in wellington called birthright dont know if they're down there, they're more for the kids of single parent families but might be worth looking into, otherwise there may be a few forums on the msn groups for single parents, dont think i've actually looked though, oops!