Best friend problems

Hmm sometimes I think that we have friends for 'seasons' - it doesn't mean we need to fall out or think badly of eachother, but for one reason or another (like being in a different country) we just drift apart. I have a friend like that, we used to be really really close and I don't really know what happened but we kinda aren't so anymore. We keep in contact occasionally and we went down for her wedding at Easter. It's not the same (but maybe that's cos we were so hardout close) but it's not awful either.... we're not in touch all the time but I still consider her one of my good friends.

And then I have some close friends who I actually live in the same town as, and it seems to go ages between when we find the time to catch up (either via phone or in person). Which is quite slack really. But when we do catch up, it's like we only just saw each other last week or something. And one in particular I'd consider my closest friend... we don't find it weird at the lack of regular contact cos it's just normal. And when we do see each other, it's not weird or anything.

Anyway that was a bit of a ramble but what I meant to say was.... I strongly believe that we have friends in our lives for 'seasons' - at different stages in our lives, we need different things. Maybe at the moment you both just need different things. That doesn't mean things are bad with your friend, just means they might have changed. If it was me I'd still try to catch up every so often (maybe some emails and some phonecalls) but not get too stressed if it doesn't happen every week. You may find your relationship remains the same even if you don't catch up regularly, cos some friendships are just like that.

Yeah I guess I dont know whether I should just accept we have moved on, or make an effort to improve it. We havent had a falling out or anything, and maybe it would be diff if we both made more effort.

She hasnt done anything wrong tho, if she had it would be easier!
When we do see each other its awkward. If we see each other alone its fine, but cos we live like 6 hrs away, when we do see each other its ually with our partners etc too, and they dont have a thing in common and dont even talk, so it makes the whole meet up uncomfortable.


Minik8e, sound like u are better off without her!

yeah thats what we have been doing ASimee, just the very occasional email. But she emailed yesterday and wants to know if I want to end it or what?

eeeeek that is a bit rash emailing asking if ya want to end it, I have a really good friend been friends for about 12 years met when we worked with each other at the mount and we call each other a few times a week, usually vica versa at the weekends but sometimes if we want to tell each other something important, if she feels this way then maybe just ignore it and see what happens.

hmmmm I can see where you could read into that, maybe just do the odd casual email if that is what she prefers and then ring her out of the blue for a chat????

Oh yeah fully, thats why I copied what she had worte, cos I want everyones opinions cos I am prone to reading stuff into things! I always just see the negative side

I went through this too Kelly. I have only been BFs with my BF for 4 years but we just instantly clicked when we met (through plunket - her daughter is 2 months older than Bailey) and spent every day together (she lived 20 mins down the road in Tauranga) she was even my bridesmaide! then after 2 years she seperated from her partner and moved back to her home town (rotorua), i thought i was going to fall apart without her, then not long after we moved back to our home town (45 mins from rotorua) so the short of it all...We are still good friend although she makes more of an effort to ring me *slaps myself upside the head!* , we talk around once a month and text and make the effort to go and visit and sometimes stay with each other every so often so while we are not BFs anymore - we are still friends...still rather guttered though

Dont let it stress you out too much! just go with the flow and hopefully it will soon settle into a new form of friendship.

HUGS!

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sympathise with you on this...I much much prefer the phone as it is easy quick and much more personal...and get more said ....find it frustrating sometimes this technical world as can get quite impersonal....

In saying that obviously sites like this are great but with your "good friends" should be a bit more special Ah???

I'd take that as she does want to be friends but she wants to find a way that works for both of you. You don't like emailing and she doesn't like phoning. I think she's acknowledging that it isn't working and trying to find alternatives.

But it is natural to grow apart from people. My best friend from when I was at school is still a very close friend but I don't click with her like we used to because our lives have gone in different directions. My best friend now is someone who is at the same life stage as me and has the same goals.