Rant - friends?

why is it that when you need someone to talk to, or get sympathy from or just catch up with noone offers...or even gets in touch with you etc....

Last week i was totally not well, and felt real down as was totally exhausted, worn out and needed to get out of house at times, even for a coffee or catch up and did not hear from anyone really that would offer...and yet in past weeks and months i have put out to catch up with friends who have text, called, emailed, turned up etc cause they have had a bad day, week, month, relationship or life!!!! I mean should i really have to text, call etc to BEG for friends to step up....

is it too much to ask for friends to keep in touch at times when they dont hear from me to see how the heck I might be....anyone else ever feel like this?

I can say this all now as I am not as angry as i was last week with some "friends"....but it annoys me that I put myself out so much at times to make others feel better and dont get the same in return.... ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

I feel soooo used at times. I mean I try and make sure people know how much I appreciate them helping me when they do....but I also never seem to get it back in return...its like they think I dont need it? or something????

vent over....

ouch, mate, that sucks.

If I lived near you, I would come to your pity party and make you CAKE, promise. Chocolate cake, with lots of thick choc icing.

Serious, though. I do get where you are coming from. It's almost like you have a nice house/car/life or whatever, you know, not on skid row, and folks "percieve" you to be "lucky" (I hate lucky, nothing comes from luck, its all hard work) so you have no "right" to complain.

SUCK.

And, worse, I have no advice, even, just wanted to say SUCK. Alot.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

EDITED to fix baaaaad typos

Edited by fattartsrock

I'll be honest, you cannot expect your friends to know if you don't tell them, and from what I'm reading I think that's what you're expecting. Correct me if I'm wrong though.

People do live busy lives. I have lots of friends but I don't call them every day or even every week. There is no way I could possibly know that they're having difficulties unless either they or someone else told me, or I just happened to fluke a call to them at the right time. Added to that sometimes when people are strung out they're more likely to bottle up and keep quiet about it.

That being said, I'm there for them when I know they need help.

I think when you're struggling you've got to do yourself a favour and let someone else know rather than get all upset because your friends haven't called you at crunch time. I'd actually be really upset if I thought my friends considered me selfish because they were having a bad week, hadn't told me about an and just assumed I'd know that they needed me.

Sorry I'm being blunt here, but I just feel like you're being a bit hard on them and at least need to meet them halfway.

Oh no Ro   
Probably too late now, but we you    Miss S & I are always up for a drive to your side of town if you need us

Big hugs. I'd love to catch up but with 2 bubs in the house and me with a miserable cold, I'm not too much of a company.

Friends who wont come to the party really suck especially when you have told them your feeling 'meh' and need an outting or just a shoulder to lean on (trust me i have my fair share of friends like that )!!! PFFFFT who needs friends like that?? No One, especially when your there for them at the drop of a hat!!

We'll be your friends

I've been there.

I've been let down many times by friends who haven't stepped up. Sadly I've had to lower my expectations and accept that some people are just not as thoughtful.

I feel for you It's a lonely feeling when you realise that you're just not able to expect your efforts to be reciprocated.

thats a bummer you felt alone... are we talking real life or internet friends tho?   cause i know i am a bit neglectful of my RL friends...heck iam neglectful of on line ones too!!!

ooohh i hate those friends who only ever send you joke emails... whats with that... i have a friend like that and when he visited last i told him off for it, said i want to see an update email next time!

Oooooh! BS! I'm sorry! I know I didn't give you the support I should have and I even called you a wench! ( )

Also, it's not a pity party - people who are your friends should be able to take stand up and take it if you (justifiably [sp?] ) call them on being asses, in my opinion.

(I understand how it feels too - it's been amazing who has run really fast in the other direction while we've been doing IVF, and who has stuck around for the tears, and who has popped out of the wood work at just the right time to get me through to the next day.)