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mummy_becks 
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 Topic: I’ve had enough
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:12pm |
of Andrew.
You will probably know that he is pushing my buttons and today it got to me.
I had asked him to clean up his room by putting the toys into boxes and the clothes into another and then the rubbish into a bag. He kept telling me he can't do it, or its to hard. I told him I didn't want to hear those words and if he didn't do it then it was being thrown out. Well he said it again and I didn't go back on my words and I got the stuff and put it on the front deck - he was screaming at me telling me he would do it but after I don't know how many times asking him to do I did it. I rang my friend in tears asking what to do as I feared I might hurt him if he stayed here. She said ring my MIL to get him, so I rang her and she has taken him for the night.
So now he has gone and it is a bit like well he won as he gets to go to Gran's - but she is not impressed with him at all.
I'm sitting here in tears coz I can't control my own child and I don't know what to do with him anymore.
He has a wicked temper on him and he uses it on Josh and that make me angry at him and it is like we are just going around in circles.
I just don't know what to do with him anymore  
ETA: I know in myself I wouldn't hurt him intentionally but I have that fear of me getting so worked up that I would just lash out at him.
Edited by mummy_becks
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:18pm |
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don't feel like he has " won" because then it will make you feel like you are some sort of competition with him, and your whole relationship will be based on getting the better of each other.
Maybe your MIL could take Josh one day instead and give you sometime with Andrew instead, and you could go play at the park or something, will give you both a chance to remember what you love about each other ...in fact , why dont you write a list about things you love about him now,? i've done it before, you'll be surprised at how well it works
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pepsi
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:19pm |
Well I have no experience in that area but  I hope you can enjoy the night's break anyway. Maybe Gran will give him the hard word too!
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Jay_R
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:32pm |
Becks, take a deep breath, and remember that at the moment you are doing all of this on your own. It is only natural that you are going to find things really hard at times and not having your DH there when things get really tough has got to make things even harder.
You've done the right thing by sending him to your MIL.
Big hugs to you
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Bizzy
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:44pm |
sounds just like gabriel and very normal...
and TBH i think you might have given him too much to do at once. four year olds are not good at focusing and remember as a male cant do more than one thing at a time ... 
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caraMel
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:44pm |
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I agree, just enjoy the night off and start again tomorrow when you're both refreshed and have had break from each other.
Just an idea, maybe you could do it *with* him tomorrow instead? Or make it into a game by timing him to see how fast he can get each group into the boxes? If he can do it in under X minutes he gets a reward.
Good luck, and good on you for calling in backup. It can't be easy trying to pack up the whole house on your own!
Edited by caraMel
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:49pm |
Caitlyn is a shocker at tidying up her mess (" i have to do it all mySELF???!!!! *violins play * )
so i make into a race with her , cos shes such a competitive little madam . Sucker, she ends up putting more away than i do 
also , i think you did the right thing removing him from the situation and sending him away for the night
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 6:59pm |
Thanks Deb, I did think he was normal but it was driving me nuts. I started by saying lets put all your clothes into this box and once all the clothes are off the floor lets put the toys in the other boxes. Probably too much for him to handle being a male.
I am going to try and put everything away tonight as we are heading to Siberia tomorrow to see Nigel and I kinda want the house a bit tidy for when Nigel comes home.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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sally belly
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 7:18pm |
No advice because I am yet to get to that stage but hugs & enjoy your quiet (hopefully ) night.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 7:19pm |
dont they just drive you up the wall!!! i am finding 4 the hardest age so far i'm sure...
anyway for you!
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 7:20pm |
4 is far worse than the terrible 2's by far.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 7:21pm |
well just to excite you Deb , im finding six a real gem so far
.....how old do they have to be to move out of home?
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kebakat
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:02pm |
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I'll send ya a long ass PM sometime tonight/tomorrow morn. Rich had some ideas too.
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:26pm |
 mummy_becks wrote:
4 is far worse than the terrible 2's by far. |
oh great! thats just what i wanted to hear!! jack must think his bday has come early because he's started the back chat etc in the past month or so....it SERIOUSLY does my head in!!
becks....hope you enjoy the break
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shaz
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:38pm |
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OTT a bit but it's all the even years that are hard!!! Try 10 and 12 !!!!!
Hugs Becks we all have moments that we think we may throttle our little darlings they know how to push the buttons. Make the most of your quite night with Josh.
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Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:39pm |
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Aw Becks. xoxoxoxox
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I’ve had enough
