No Title For Him

My father

I was bored at work the other day so randomly typed in his name, wow, i had a contact number for him.

Its been 8 years since i have spoken to him. He turned up at my house with his baby girl in the car with a bottle of bourbon between his legs. He was drinking while driving with her in the pasenger seat. Should would have been no more than Kylahs age.
I left and changed my phone number and never spoke to him again. He had never bothered to play a part in my life and the only part he did play was when he wanted Esomething.

Before that i was 4. He walked out on us and i didnt see him again untill i was 14.

Back to the story. I text him. I said 'Hey, I thought you'd like to know you have a 9 month old grandaughter'. No reply until today.

'I can tell by the atatude nothings changed. U would probely stil play hide n seek if i came 2 c u. U chose not 2 know me. Have a nice life and Goodbye'

Written exactly how he wrote it. I was friggn 4! Isnt that a kids game for that age! How can someone thats supposed to be your father be so god dam cold!

Why did i bother, why do i care? I dont know i just do.

I seen him about 2 years ago, at a mall with his daughter. Walking around looking for chistmas presents. It hurt so bad because he was never a father to me but heres this little girl getting what i should have got, a father who cared. A father who bothered to spend 5 minutes with me.

I hate him, and i will now never forgive him

Sorry rant over.

Edited: Because through the tears i couldnt spell properly :

Edited by KylahsMum

Hugs Kandice, now *I'm* crying!

That sucks! At the risk of sounding cliched, it does sound like you are better off without him. Doesn't make the hurt any less I bet

Aw hun thats horrible. Im sorry!

You are obviously better off without him in your life. Still, i know it must be hard huh.

 

Hugs for you.

MrsMojo wrote: You're the lovely person you are today in part because of not having him in your life. You have a beautiful little girl and if he doesn't want to know her or you it's his loss - not yours and not Kylah's. It sounds like he still hasn't grown up, please don't let that get you down.. some people never do and there's nothing you can do about it. RE: His other daughter don't feel jealous that you missed out on him as a father, just because they seemed happy shopping at Christmastime doesn't mean all's fine and dandy. People are really good at putting up appearances in public. Remember the type of man that drinks and drives with kids in the car is not the type of man you want your child around.

What she said! So damn sensible is our Mojo!

Thanks guys, i cried just reading all your posts.
I dont know the words to descibe him. I text him back after that but havent heard anything and hope i dont. I told him to delete my number. I wont be trying anything further, he had a chance. More than i should have given him. Sometimes i wonder what his other daughter look like now, i mean shes my sister.. A sister iv never had a chance to know.

Grrr i hate him so much!

Oh forgot one of these




and here's another, cos you soo don't deserve that sort of treatment!

Thats really sad, and I am really sorry for you

Despite trying to tell ourselves otherwise, I think there is a little bit in all of us who grew up without a dad who really wishes they'd been able to be daddy's little girl. I know I sure do. And when you've made that leap to try and connect with your dad and he does something like this, well I can totally empathise with how broken hearted you must be feeling right now.

Big hugs to you

[QUOTE=caraMel]    I've been there with my Dad too Kandice.. Over the years I reached out to him many times and was rejected and hurt again. Its only in the last couple of years that I've made peace with all the pain it caused me and the feelings of "why wasn't I good enough for you?". /QUOTE]

I have been there too - I don't know why we end up with these fathers who aren't prepared to be there... My father knows I have Luke, but has never seen him, sent a card or anything.  Now I don't want to see him, but somehow still feel like he could make the effort.

I think the most important thing to realise in all this is that althought you are now grown up he is still the GROWNUP and you are his CHILD... don't try again if you don't want to.

Hugs Kandice

aww Kandice, im so angry at your father, I wish i knew where he was so i could tell him a thing or two...But then what would be the point? hes clearly rewritten history so that hes the victim, of course his daughter would say hes a good father, she obviously doesnt know the whole truth about him.

But all i can say again is, its his loss, his loss that he doesnt get to know you or your beautiful little girlm your such a kindhearted lovely girl on here and WE all appreciate you, so if the man who is supposed to be your biggest supporter, is too much of an idiot to do that,then he deserves a little bit of your scorn , a little bit of your pity....and then no more, for he is not worthy of you.

Im so sorry hes let you down tho hun, its just not fair

As much as it must hurt you, because loser Dads always hurt people, this is his loss - he's missing out on so much all because he can't be a grown-up.  It's not fair when people have to parent their own parents!