So disgusted right now...

My friend just came around today to tell me what I've feared for ages... another friend 'K' has come off the BCP to get pregnant and her boyfriend has absolutely no idea I know of this happening, but I seriously did not think she would be so incredibly selfish.

Her bf has never wanted to get married or have kids, he's never said he loves her (yes he has issues) and she's stayed with him for over 5 years. Me, I would've left if he didn't want the same things as me. Then, he builds a house and makes her sign an agreement that all the money she pays towards mortgage/rates etc can never be claimed back as relationship property. She signs because he said she's not allowed to move in otherwise. Clever on his part, stupid on hers.

She then anounces to a room-full of people one night that the only way she will get a child (which she desparately wants) is to sneakily go off the BCP. Dim bf doesn't hear or is just too thick to listen. We were all shocked by this.

Well, her friend has come off the BCP in prep for TTC when they get married, so K decides to come off too. She's been off it for a month without informing her bf at all. Her plan?

To get pregnant and hope that
a) he doesn't kick her out (like he has said he would before when she mentioned wanting to get pg)
b) his parents basically force him into doing the 'right' thing by her and the baby and they stay together.

Ick, ick, ick. What I am so stirred up about is that she is being so selfish. If she does get pg, this poor child is going to either belong to a solo mother that doesn't have a sent to her name or family support to cope (which is fine, except that she is PLANNING to do this without being in a situation where she could even cope on a benefit due to so much debt), or have a father that never wanted the child in the first place and resents the mother for what she has done.

I'm seriously fuming. Why would you bring an innocent child into something like that when you have agreed with your partner not to? Grr

Anyway, ranty over.

OMG sounds like they both have issues and are really do NOT want the same things in life.

Sorry you have to be caught in it all!
And you are so right about the innocent life

Thats just horrific and selfish how could she allow such a horrible man to be a father to her child!!!!

I know, I don't know why she hasn't left him. I think it is a self-esteem thing, she doesn't think she can do any better (she definitely can). We've told her time and time again to leave him or give him an ultimatum as its not fair for her to have to compromise on everything.

She's 23 and has only just moved out of home (as has he). I don't think she has the maturity to see what she's doing actually. I mean I'm younger than her but we had Jack knowing we were stable financially and emotionally.

I tried to talk her round and all she said was 'I don't care, it's the only way I'm going to get a baby'. Which is fine, babies are cute and all, but they also come with 18+ years of duty.

Man I feel a bit sorry for her. She obviously has some issue and her bf sounds like a real ass. I hope she comes to her senses and finds someone way better for her.

ginger wrote: This is a really stupid question, I know! But what is BCP? I'm guessing it's the contraceptive pill (?) but what does the B stand for?

 

I just figured this out recently ... it's the Birth Control Pill (I think)

haha I was getting stuck on PSN for ages (wasn't a phrase in my day )

Back on topic though - I think that's horrible and I actually hope she's not successful (which in itself is a horrible thing to hope) but it sounds like she needs to grow up a LOT before she has a baby.

Oh and to clarify, i didn't do the come off the pill get pregnant thing, luckily I knew I would be worse off if I got pregnant and I never wanted kids anyhow... (but magically got them anyway, years and years later)