QuoteReplyTopic: Breastfeeding experiences Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:33pm
I've been pondering this for a few days, how I've had three completely different breastfeeding experiences, and whether the outcomes could have been different under different circumstances.
When I had Maya we both had to learn to breastfeed. It took a few weeks, I got the usual sore nipples etc., a nasty bout of mastitis which had me in hospital for 9 days and we did have to give her formula top ups for the first few weeks. In hindsight, that early exposure to cows milk formula probably triggered her allergy. But we persevered with it and I fed successfully til 10 mths when we weaned for medical reasons.
It never occured to me that I'd have trouble next time round, but the gremlins were a disaster from day one. Neither of them latched in the delivery unit and it's recorded in my notes that they weren't interested in feeding. At Birthcare Sienna was so sleepy I had to express colostrum onto a syringe which was completely futile, and the next night they screamed in hunger all night. I had no help to get them tandem feeding, I had to get them both out of their bassinettes and latched on my own. I left on Day Four unable to feed either of them and by day six they were on 100% expressed breast milk. I kept trying to breastfeed in between expressing and ended up with nipples so badly cracked that the top came off one and it got a staph infection in it. I kept up the expressing for ten weeks until I finally gave in to the fact that I was exhausted and it wasn't working for us (complicated by allergy/reflux issues).
Chiara has been a different story yet again, she was literally born sucking, latched beautifully in the delivery unit and fed for a good 20 mins. Within 48 hours she had brought my milk in, and she's been feeding beautifully ever since. I've had minimal pain and no supply issues, the whole experience has been brilliant, and it's made a huge difference with bonding.
It's really got me wondering if things could have been different with the gremlins had I had the help and support to get feeding established, whether I would have been able to work it out or whether we were doomed from day one coz they were poor latchers. And whether I would have had the bonding problems I've had with them had I not had so many feeding problems.
Sorry, this is just a long ramble, but I'm interested in hearing others breastfeeding experiences and whether you think anything could have made a difference to the outcome.
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
I think a huge part of what needs to change the way breastfeeing is explained to suport people. it LOOKS like you are sitting on your bum, doing nothing, but in reality, it takes a LOT out of you. But as I said, to your hubby or whoever, looks like you spend your days watching tv and snacking. I think we would have a lot more support if hubbies knew, or were told by people other than their wives, how tough it is and how much work and energy it requires.
With Taine I had trouble. not with the feeding, but the guilt I felt from becoming pregnant so soon after Jake and not having what i felt like was enough time with my toddler. So i think I sacrificed feeding Taine, to spend time with jake to make myself feel better. I think had I not felt like that, i would have perservered more and wroked it out.
I got cracked nipples with Hannah and with Briona, and I just put it down to the usual early feeding pain that everyone goes on about. My mw commented that they looked cracked a couple of times but I think I was too nervous about feeding "modestly" in public and latched far too quickly. I guess I also gave up on trying to get them to open their mouths the right amount, because if you miss it, they get all worked up and then it just doesn't happen.
With Kryssi, I told my (new) mw that I had had cracked nipples twice and I wanted her to really help me out and not presume that I had it down pat for #3. She really came through for me and I learnt stuff that I had been told but not taken in with the other two. Unfortunately I did end up with a split nipple (and it took the mw's ages to see what I was talking about, they could only see "normal" cracks on top but the split was on the side) but it was quite different and once I brought it up with my mw she was able to help me work through that too.
So I'm feeling rather positive, this time around. The thing that surprises me most of all is how much you can forget about newborn feeding in less than 2 yrs!
pretty sure you know my breastfeeding stories... but,
gabriel latched ok at the hospital but i never had the let down feeling or anything like that... we both got thrush and i didnt know that in the beginning and went with the pain for a couple of weeks... till the mw figured it out and we went on to feed till 14 mths. i did at one stage feed just off one boob for the day and use the "fresh" one for nights...
Toby latched beautifully in the hospital and for the first time i understood let down... he was a great little sucker but sometimes - normally at 3am - he wouldnt latch and it would take us literally hours so i resorted to a dummy and it seemed to really teach him how to latch and suck and we went on to feed till 26 mths.
Eden well she sounds like the twins, she didnt feed from me for days, refused me in the recovery room and had colostrum from a spoon, syringe and a cup before she took it from me. i had to express colostrom and finger/tube feed her for a bit before she got the hang of feeding from the actual source. while in the hospital with her tho and going thru these dramas i had lots of help and one fab couple of mw's who worked really hard and came up with the plan and implemented it. however before i had them i did have one mw ask me if i wanted to give her formula... I was horrifed at this and think that if i had been a first time mum and didnt know any better i would have jumped at the opportunity. I did know better tho and complained. i dont know how long she will feed from me for tho as she doesnt seem that interested and since prob about two weeks since having her home has only wanted four feeds a day...
Andrew was a guts, he brought my milk in but I couldn't keep up with him at 3 weeks we had to introduce formula topup jsut to get him to grow. I had tried expressing but it didn't increase my supply. He thrived on formula.
Josh on the other hand, after advice given to me about waiting for him to search for food and then feed him and not to turn him on his back to weigh him. I did that and he latched perfectly and brought my milk in after 36 odd hours (I was in hospital till Friday morning and had him Wednesday night, I didn't want to leave till feeding was extablished). We did have a hicup at 4am on Thursday when he guts a heap of colostrom and chocked on it and brought it all up again. I was able to exslusively BF him till 6 months when we introduced formula and he started weaning off me.
I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
Michaela refused the breast first time it was offered shortly after birth but within about 20 mins she wanted it and from then onwards we were attached at the nipple/mouth.
That was my only BFing problem but it was a huge one, she wanted to be on the breast all the time (no exageration). I had no issues feeding and could feed in any position, even in my sleep, but I couldn't do anything else because she was always latched or wanting to be, I would sit in bed cuddling my suckling baby and bawling my eyes out because I felt so incapable as a mother and wife because I could barely get washed and dressed let alone do housework, cook meals etc. I felt that there must be something wrong with me and my milk because I couldn't satisfy my child. She was always suckling so I never got full so when my friends would talk about engorgement I would think that obviously I wasn't producing enough milk and then they'd talk about their babies sleeping 3 - 6 hours in a row and I could have cried.
DH was very supportive. In our AN class the lady had told the parents to be that it's very important for mums to relax and focus on feeding. With her first child she'd tried to do too much (housework etc) and her milk had dried up so she impressed on us how important it is to rest and relax, and what an energy consuming job producing milk is.
I spoke to 2 midwives and 3 plunket nurses about it and none of them seemed to think anything of it which just confirmed in my tired mind that the problem was with me. It's only with the view of hindsight and experience that I realise that Michaela probably had colic or similar and was suckling for comfort not nourishment.
I was in such a state over my BFing inadequacies that DH suggested we switch to formula but I was determined to BF past 12 months for health reasons. A friend of mine from my AN group was the first one to suggest that I shift Michaela into a routine, so at 8wo I started getting strict and wouldn't let Michaela feed for 3 hours after her last one. The next problem was she'd make feeds last for ages by feeding on one side for 40 mins, throwing up then feeding on the other side. The healthline helped with this by telling me the canary yellow vomit (which frightened the heck out of me) was the cream of my milk (which until then I didn't believe I had) and I had to restrict the amount of time she was allowed on each side to 20 mins.
From then onwards it was plain sailing - but it took us about 10 weeks, a lot of stress, and very little sleep to get there.
I went back to work when Michaela was 5mo and tried expressing during the day which didn't work for me. That was the first time I felt 'engorged' (and began to understand why on baywatch they have to run in slow motion). I was in awe, I'd still had these nagging feelings I didn't produce enough milk but the truth was my baby was so efficient at extracting the milk and such a guts I never had a chance to get full until I didn't have her with me. I would get home from work in the afternoon and it was such a relief to sit on the couch and feed/express. I would express 200-300mls (sometimes more) off one side while feeding my baby on the other side.
Despite our early problems and my own insecurities I loved breastfeeding, even at the start when I was getting upset over doing nothing but BFing I loved it.
Well Hannah latched ok to start with but we ended up having some major issues with her not feeding off one side and both of us ending up in tears. Had horrible cracked nipples and cried every time she woke up. Eventually was all sorted by about 10 weeks and I went on to feed her until almost 12 months. In hindsight should have stopped sooner as it was my breastmilk that was causing her wicked nappy rash that she had for about 9 months (allergies). In the end stopped for medical reasons, otherwise would have kept going - as much as it was a tie I loved that it was something special just between us.
Greer was a totally different story. She latched and fed beautifully from birth, no cracked nipples or any supply problems, until we hit 2-3 weeks when her reflux/allergy issues became apparent (despite already being on a restricted diet). She would latch then keep coming on and off and screaming, wouldnt sleep etc etc. Persevered until 6 weeks then could not stand the constant screaming any longer and trialled her on the special formula and within 2 days she was so much better - and we havent looked back since in the feeding department. So again had to stop for medical reasons. I think not being able to feed her has caused a lot of bonding issues (I guess along with the fact that a screaming spewing unhappy baby is pretty hard to love) compared with when Hannah was a baby. But we are getting there now, and even though I know I had to stop cos my breast milk was making her sick, it still makes me sad.
Emma i firmly beleive that my 2 different experiences were because of a few different things.
The experience i had with Paris was terrible, I had all that guff after i had her, with me bleeding and her being whisked away and no skin to skin time and all that, didn't know not to leave her to sleep for 5 hours at a time, and had literally no idea about latching properly and how often to feed etc. She was sucha sleepy baby and definately not a "sucker".
When she started having problems i didn't seek help, and it all started turning to custard - she wouldn't latch properly, or she'd latch briefly then come off screaming and choking just before i let down. It got stressful - I stopped going out anywhere for fear of people looking at me when she would scream when i tried to feed her. It was horrible - i dreaded feeding her, and it all turned downwards from there. She self weaned by 6 mths, when she was down to 1 feed a day from 1 side only, the rest were formula by bottle.
My experience with Ayja was so different - i was stubborn, determined to make it work, found every source of help i could. I had immediate skin to skin for nearly an hour in which time she initiated latching and feeding, she was a great feeder, fed and fed constantly for the first week, especially the first 48 hours or so, I talked with the lactation consultant, I let Ayja take the lead and truely demand fed her whenever she wanted up until nearly 2 months when i started to try and get routine going because she was going to daycare. But really - she was a great feeder from day one, i beleive it was also cos she was such a wee dot, she just fed until she caught up in size. She went from this (at 2 weeks)
to this (at 6 weeks)
all from being a little piggy.
I totally hear you on the different experiences, and i think i kinda grieved for a long time about having missed out on having a good experience with Paris. The first time i took Ayja out to town one evening when she was a couple of weeks old with mike etc - and i had to feed her - I nearly cried in the mother's room, because she just sat and fed and off we went again in a few mins. With Paris i remember sitting in that same mother's room time after time with a screaming hungry baby who wouldn't latch or feed.
I think circumstances as well as knowledge play a big part - but also the baby too.
Both my girls latched on as soon as they could in the delivery room, within half an hour of being born. But I still have had pretty different experiences with them.
With DD1 my milk didn't come in until about day 4 and she started getting dehydrated and developed jaundice. My midwife kind of told me off for not realising what had happened and I felt really bad for not producing enough milk to begin with. Then when my milk did come in, I had wicked engorgement and horribly cracked nipples (I almost lost the top of one too) and it was sooo painful. On top of that I had horrible haemarrhoids (sp?) that developed into a fissure, meaning I couldn't sit down for more than a few minutes at a time and was pretty much in pain all day - not great for breastfeeding a newborn. I didn't feel like I got a lot of support, apart from my midwife who was quite severe (think school headmistress) and while her advice was good I just felt told off because of her approach. I was in tears for weeks and didn't enjoy it at all. Plus, she fed for nearly 30 minutes each side and had wicked wind. I was exhausted and soooo hungry all the time. I don't remember much about DD1 from those early months because I was so focused on everything that was going wrong with me - I ended up having an operation to fix my bum (go on, laugh, I do now) and slowly things got better. I fed her until 15 months when I weaned her because I was 5 months pregnant and exhausted.
So far with DD2 it has been a breeze - she latched on straight away, I haven't had any engorgement or cracked nipples, a little bit of tenderness but that's it. I love feeding her! I don't ever want to stop!
But, I feel like I still took ages to bond with DD2, although that was more because I felt so guilty about the change in my relationship with DD1 and found it hard to adjust to two kids.
Could I please make a suggestion that this becomes a 'sticky' topic like the birth story one? I think it would be great to have a place where everyone can record their breastfeeding experiences, share what they have learnt, how they've found it, what they'd do differently next time etc. People could come back and edit their posts over time and when they have another baby.
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I desparately wanted to breastfeed, and struggled for 12 weeks unsuccessfully - even though I had heaps of help and support along the way. DS was not interested in latching, despite having 1.5hrs of skin-to-skin time immediately after the birth. He also had jaundice for about 10 days, wouldn't wake for regular feeds and when woken would fall back to sleep within minutes. We spent a whole week in hospital trying to get him to latch on, to no avail. We didn't want to use a bottle, so tried everything else: syringes, nipple shields, supplementary feeding lines and nipple shields together, cups....nup, nothing worked.
By the end of day 5 in hospital, when we thought he was going to choke to death trying to feed him from a cup (which was the only way to get enough milk into him as he didn't have enough energy to suck it through a tube for long periods of time), we caved in and gave him a bottle. Ironically, DS took to this like a duck to water. In some ways that was a huge relief, but I mainly felt like a dismal failure, an unfit mother and suffered from feelings of guilt for weeks afterwards.
I continued to try latching DS before/during every feed up until he was three months old. He eventually did become a little bit more sucky, but not until he was 10 or 12 weeks old - by which time my supply had almost completely dried up. Only once did he ever latch correctly without the nipple shield, but for less than a minute ... probably because I didn't have much milk by then.
I expressed from day 1 until DS was 10 or 12 weeks old, but had a really low milk supply which took much longer than usual to come in (in fact on one side it didn't come in for 14 days!!) and I think the most I ever managed to express at one time was 80ml. Tried hand expressing and all sorts of breast pumps, and borrowed the powerful hospital one for the first month. We had to give DS formula as I could never produce enough EBM, but he probably had half of each for the first few weeks and then 1/3 EBM and 2/3 formula up until he was 3 months old. At which stage he became fully formula fed. We were incredibly lucky, in that we were also able to give DS some EBM that was donated from another mother who had a bountiful milk supply (her baby is one week younger than DS). She pumped every day for us for about 10 weeks, which was an overwhelming gift.
For me, the whole experience made me dislike the physical act of breastfeeding (to put it blandly) and I didn't enjoy expressing either as I found it so difficult and frustrating. When we were debating whether or not to use a bottle I realised what mattered the most to me was getting as much breast milk into DS as possible, and when it came down to it, the method of getting it into him didn't really matter - as long as it worked for him. That's not to say that I won't try to BF my next baby - I'm definitely going to give it my best shot.
In terms of how this breastfeeding saga affected my bonding with DS? Hmmm..... To be honest, during the skin-to-skin time I felt completely stunned and exhasted from the birth and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. No overwhelming feelings of love, just a feeling of detachment really. The first week was even more exhausting and stressful. And from weeks 2-6 I hardly ever got to feed DS myself - I'd be pumping instead while DH fed him his bottle. I think our bonding began once the last of our visitors left - a day when DH was at work and DS gave me his first real smile. My heart melted and our bond has grown exponentially since that moment.
Oh, and I also wanted to say that from DH's point of view, the five weeks he spent bottle feeding DS in the early days really helped with their bond. Which is awesome, as he is now a SAHD while I've returned to work.
Gosh! Reading these stories makes me realise how lucky I was. I was determined to feed Tom as formula seemed so complicated and "too much hard work" Well, Tom was whisked off to NICU when he was born and I was left in major pain from a huge clot that I h ad to pass ( noone knew why I was screaming more than labour). I was given pethidine for the pain but the clot passed at the same time and I was happy then...but a bit out of it. As a result I was taken to my room and when asked if I wanted to go to see Tom I was still so beside myself from the pain I felt I couldnt cope and said no (WTF???).
As a result I ended up in my room alone, DH was with Tom. So I sorted myself out and decided I wanted my baby. When I asked the megabitch MW to take me, she said I had to use the toilet first. Well I was still very drowsy and the room was spinning so she wouldnt let me go to see him "lights on but nobody home" was what she kept laughing to herself....I wanted to hit her.
It was 9 hours before I saw and held my boy. I crashed out on that a few weeks later feeling as though I had abandoned my boy. However in that time, a nicer MW came to my room, grabbed my boob and expressed collostrum into a cup to take to NICU for Tom. She then showed me how to express it. At 3am Tom was brought up to me for a feed and I had a lovely MW that helped me latch him on andhe fed well. The next morning I was taken down to NICU to feed him again and again I had a really lovely MW who helped me.
But Tom developed Jaundice and needed to feed often to help clear it. He didnt want to feed off me all the time so I was expressing and feeding inbetween feeds with the expressed milk. My MW was great and she told me he needs to be feeding every 2 hours during the day and when he wants at night so I made a point of feeding him little and often.
My milk came in on day 3.. WOW!!!!! They stood up all by themselves....I totally didnt expect that. I also thought they would always be like that in between feeds and I needed a field of cabbages etc. Thankfully a MW set me straight on that and said it will only last a few days, do what you need to, feed when you need to and take panadol. She was right.
By the time we left hospital (8days later) we had this feeding kinda sussed. A good friend of mine has a baby 11 weeks older andI had seen her go through the inital pain of BFing so I understood that that was normal and would count back from 10 (or 20) when he latched.
My supply was excellent. Too good. He struggled with that for a few weeks until he learnt to cope. I had one megaboob and one sore boob. Lansinoh was my friend. The crazy thing was that eventually it was the sore boob he ended up latching better on. And....it wasnt until a few months on that I realised his latch hadnt been brilliant at the start because one day he latched and I thought "Ah, this feels nice, no pain, and he is sucking well". Penny's can take a while to drop.
So even though they say the latch is important...I would say the latch is CRITICAL. An ok latch doesnt cut it...you want a perfect latch. Thats when he settled right down. I was a bit like busymum and put up with an "ok" latch as I was too embarrased to say anything and he fed, so what was the problem.
I hope it goes as easily this time. Stubborness and sheer determination have a lot to answer for.
I have been pretty fortunate that my 3 babies have all loved boobie, and taken it fine.
Of course, with Rico, it was pretty hard & not so easy, being first time. He would feed from one side fine, but the other he had trouble latching onto for the first few days. I left hospital on day 2, with him not feeding from it, but once home he latched on fine and I was stoked!!! I had badly cracked & bleeding nipples for the first few weeks, and one day one side was too sore to feed off, so i only expressed off that side and bottle-fed it to him. The next day it was much better & he able to feed off it again. I never had any problems after that.
Gia was great from day one. The nipples were a bit tender for the first few days, but then no problems.
Jett also has been a great b/feeder. The only thing that happend was I got mastitis for the first time when he was about 2 months old. Otherwise, no sore or cracked nipples what-so-ever.
I was the "lucky" one out of me & my sisters. Both of them had trouble with b/feeding their children. My oldest sister, with her first she had to use a nipple shield for the 19 months she BF her boy, but her 2nd child, a girl, fed fine. My other sister had tremendous trouble BF. She would be in tears from the pain and dreaded each feed, and this went on for months with her 3 girls. She was also getting mastitis, and her nipples were badly cracked. I'm so surprised she stuck at it, but it can right for her eventually & she was able to BF her girls til she decided to wean them around 1 yr old.
I had 2 very different experiences with both my children too.
All throughout my pregnancy with Ella, I'd been determined to breastfeed her.
I read a little but really had no idea that it wasn't as simple as just shoving my nipple in her mouth.
When she arrived she fed almost straight away and the midwife told me what a wonderful latch she had. That was the only time she fed well!
Every single feed after that resulted in one or both of us crying because we just couldn't get it right.
She kept slipping down the nipple and I wound up very sore, cracked and bleeding.
The midwives at Birthcare were very good in that they would come in for every feed and try to help me, but every one seemed to have a different solution and all of them told me "If it hurts, she's not latched on properly".
I thought I must be doing it wrong somehow, despite all the advice and we came home without having established feeding.
On the first day home, DH went out and bought me a breastpump so that I could drain my poor engorged boobies and Ella had her second decent feed from a bottle.
For 4 weeks after that I tried to breastfeed first and would then express and top her up from the bottle.
She still slipped down the nipple every time she latched and would now pull off and cry after a few sucks.
At week 4 I decided enough was enough and gave up on offering the breast directly. I expressed all her feeds and there were no more tears at feeding times.
I felt like such a failure, we'd had so much support, from my mum, my midwife, the Birthcare lactation consultant and I still hadn't been able to get it right!
I expressed all her feeds until she was 9 months, when I had appendicitis and couldn't express enough.
Benjy was a dream to feed in comparison. I did my research and got my midwife onside, telling her about all the trouble I'd had with Ella's feeding.
She was great and told me about skin-to-skin and letting him find the breast himself.
It was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen, this newborn baby moving up my chest and rooting around to find my nipple and feed, all by himself!
He was a sleepy baby but immediately set himself a 2 hourly feeding routine once we were home.
My midwife came and stayed for hours at a time watching me feed and suggesting different positions for feeding from the breast he didn't like as much.
After a month he was diagnosed with reflux, but meds helped and we were able to stretch him out to 3 hourly feeds.
My nipples were sore, but this time I knew that a bit of pain is normal and I didn't worry so much about it.
We successfully managed to breastfeed until he was a year old, when I reluctantly had to admit he was self weaning. He just loved his food more by that stage.
I loved feeding him, more so once he stopped feeding through the night!
It was such a special bond between us and I felt so proud that I'd been able to do it, after failing the first time round.
I only have one kiddo so can't compare, but I'll share my story anyway.
And for the record, Emma, you did what you had to do at the time. TBH I think it is always going to be harder to bond with twins than with a singleton as everything is twice as hard and twice as time consuming. So I think you did the best you could (and a whole lot better than most could have!). But really glad to hear that things with Chiara are going well.
I was always determined that I was going to breastfeed (stubborn little beastie that I am!) but I didn't quite realise how exactly the whole breastmilk thing worked. I had little to no colostrum and Hannah wasn't terribly interested in sucking on stuff that wasn't there. Luckily I had some great midwives around. Can't say as much for the lactation consultant, she was a wench. One midwife suggested trying to express colostrum and syringe it. That didn't work particularly well as that's when we discovered the severe lack of colostrum. As well as the fact that I had NO idea how to express. Verrrry interesting process having someone else 'milk you' ha.
Anyway, I kept up with trying to latch Hannah as the midwives let me know that the only way my milk was going to come in was through Hannah feeding. So I made very sure that I fed her for at least 5 minutes on each side... and then used formula top ups.
It seemed like a ridiculously long time, but on day three my milk finally came in. By then my nipples were cracked and blistered and all manner of nasty things. I continued on though, especially because the lactation consultant had given up on me by then. Biarch.
I ditched the top ups as soon as the milk came in... after a few weeks realised that breastfeeding was no longer making me cringe and went on to feed for 13 months.
My story is a little bit different. I had no interest in breastfeeding before I had my daughter, in fact the whole idea creeped me out a bit - having a baby sucking off your boobs! I know that is taboo, but it's more common than you think (talking to friends) - there are quite a few women out there who for whatever reasons don't feel comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. I even skipped the antenatal classes dealing with breastfeeding as I didn't think it was anything I needed to know about and I didn't want to sit through a class going on about how breast was best and not giving any information about formula feeding. I bought an electric pump and planned to express fulltime, at least for the first few weeks or months and I was frustrated about how hard it was to get information about bottles, steralising etc.
Cut to after the birth - I had a surprise week early birth and a fast 6 hour labour, no stitches or pain relief and was up and about 10 minutes after the birth. I'd always thought that I would give breastfeeding a go for the first few important days then express milk full time so 20 minutes after the birth I found myself breastfeeding DD and surprise surprise it didn't freak me out! DD was a perfect feeder and I didn't have any problems with latching on, and although I went through the ouchy nipple stage for about 5 days it got better after that. I ended up breastfeeding for 6 months, not bad for someone who was 99% certain that they weren't going to!
I think I was very, very lucky as I had a "perfect" labour and "perfect" breastfeeding baby so everything was very easy. If DD hadn't wanted to latch on, or if I had had complications with the birth then I doubt I would have ended up breastfeeding. My midwife was a great support with breastfeeding in terms of showing me how to hold bubs to reduce pulling on the nipple etc so credit would have to go to her too.
I've been pondering this for a few days, how I've had three completely different breastfeeding experiences, and whether the outcomes could have been different under different circumstances.
Well my two have been completely different birthing experiences so its difficult to know whether this contributed to their different breastfeeding experiences. Brooke was prem, I expressed, she never really grasped the breastfeeding thing and I was exhausted by feeding, topping up then expressing so slowly moved fully to FF by about 7-8 weeks. She had reflux and colic so I couldn't spend hours feeding her.
Caleb was a home birth, had immediate skin-to-skin contact and breastfeed. Later he had problems latching and slow weight gain, thus I started topping up one bottle per day from about one month and am still breastfeeding at 13 months. No reflux, colic and a good sleeper so I had plenty of time to just sit and feed him.
The fact that I'd given up so early with Brooke made me a bit more determined to persue with Caleb when I had cracked nipples, slow weight gain and latching problems so yes, for him, the outcome could have been different. For Brooke, probably not. .
I guess I feel a bit close to this subject at the moment but to be honest I feel that somehow we should be fighting to get more support for all women when they begin to breastfeed - and I mean proper lactation consultant type support.
My breastfeeding experience will colour my first two weeks with Ollie forever as I feel I totally missed out on watching my son grow and my deteriorating emotional state affected our new family terribly. We had the perfect unplanned home birth - it really was wonderful. He was put to the breast skin to skin pretty quickly afterwards and the two midwives helped me latch him on. Of course I had no idea what I was doing even though I'd been to the breastfeeding classes at the hospital and read all the books I could get my hands on. I thought everything was fine and even told my midwife I thought feeding was going really well on the second day. By day five things had totally turned to custard. Ollie became increasingly dehydrated and lost over ten percent of his birthweight. We saw a lactation consultant that day and she was wonderful. I came away thinking we had a plan and everything would be okay. Three days later she described my right nipple as mascerated (the top totally crusted over and later cam off) and Ollie would only drink from the left. So I started expressing (for 45 mins to over an hour) from the right after trying to feed him from the left (with DHs help to keep Ollie awake) so every feed was taking me up to three hours. We had to wake him every four hours to feed. By the end of that week I thought we had another great plan set up by the lactation consultant (she really was wonderful) but Ollie just completely refused to drink. We were meant to force him to drink from the right side before letting him have the left so the first half hour was spent attempting to get him to latch and suck - he's an expert at latching but would then just lie there. I would start by trying to think positive thoughts and keep calm but by the end was sobbing - every time we fed and every time I thought about feeding. Ollie would also be screaming. We were both exhausted. I felt like such an incompetent mother and like I was failing my child in one of the most supposedly natural things. During the early hours of one morning I finally decided that we'd all had enough. Even with hours of support from midwife and lactation consultant we failed. and other people were having to care for my child because I was too tired and too busy trying to express milk that was probably crappy given lack of proper nutrition and sleep. We now have a very happy and settled little formula fed baby - he was like a different child from the first bottle.
I do feel that if I had had support from a lactation consultant from day one we would still be breastfeeding. I also feel that every woman has this right - particularly as breastfeeding is pushed so heavily (which I'm not at all against). I do believe breastfeeding is best but thinking that, and reading about it still makes me feel as though I've failed. I've since talked to other mothers that feel the same. I feel very strongly that the health system needs to put this level of support in place for every woman if it is wanted. I also feel that women who choose not to breast feed, or who can't for whatever reason should not be made to feel guilty.
It will be interesting to see what happens when Ollie gets a sibling - I have such mixed feelings about our early experiences that I know I will be scared to try again but that I will partially because of my beliefs that breastfeeding is best but also if I'm honest partly because I will feel that societal expectation requires me to be at risk of post natal depression before I'm allowed to even mention the word formula.
When I got pregnant I never really gave breastfeeding any thought just figured I'd give it a go and see where things went. After Jack was born he was chucked straight on the boob and I just lay there and let the midwife do all the work. I went and had a shower and my boob was so sore, lucky for me (not) Jack had given me a crack on his very first feed. Breastfeeding was agonizing after this, I had all the different midwives come and sit with me but they just weren't much help. They would say stuff like "Well he looks like hes latched right so it shouldn't hurt" but it bloody did hurt. Every time I tried to read about breastfeeding I would get a painful letdown I went home and only kept at it because a friend of mine had breastfed for 6 weeks and I had to beat her (which is a pretty stupid reason really). I had a karitane nurse come around and try to help but I just ended up with even worse nipples after that.
One day I was in agony and had this huge blister so I text my midwife saying I couldn't handle it and she suggested nipple sheilds. They still hurt but it made it at least bearable and even managed to feed him without taking panadol at about 3 weeks. One day I was at my Mums and her friend was there and basically told me nipple sheilds were the worst thing ever and said I probably wouldn't last much longer breastfeeding. It seemed anyone I asked for advice just told me to turn to formula. This made me even more determined to succeed. I was convinced if I could just get past the pain I would be able to breastfeed all my babies fine. We weaned off the nipple shields at about 6 weeks but it was probably not til 6 months that I actually felt comfortable breastfeeding. In the end it was trusting myself and my baby to find the correct latch for us, none of the traditional ones they show you at the hospital worked and it was one I made up myself that really helped. I even ended up quite passionate about it and had great plans to tandem feed my two. Unfortunately Jack started refusing the boob and I just had this extreme agitation every time he would feed (along with pain) so we stopped at 13 months (I was 5 months preg at the time).
Second time around I was terrified about the pain and just wasn't sure if I could put myself through it again. After Caprece was born she was quite snuffly because she came out so fast and all the mucus wasn't squished out of her so she wasn't too interested in boob. When she sorted herself out she was a pro, latched beautifully and i think because I knew how to latch her and what it feels like I only had a few days of tenderness.
Both my babies were extremely hungry babies and Caprece didn't really go longer than 2-3 hours between feeds (including night feeds) until she was 8 months old. She was in the 75 percentile for weight so she was just a hungry baby, I just had to trust my boobs were making enough milk for her (even though it felt like there was nothing there some days). Looking back I don't know how I got through those months of feeding her so often and having to get up to Jack night waking but once I got over the no sleep and accepted thats just what babies do and one day I'll get a full nights sleep it made it a lot easier to deal with. Co-sleeping was also great for those hungry nights.
Well my story is full of a lot of mistakes, but at the time I didn't realise its only in hindsight. (don't you just hate hindsight).
Spencer latched beautifully in recovery and fed for maybe 5 mins. After that the midwifes at the hospital would arrive every 3 hours to put him on me and he would refuse and end up with colostrum from a syringe, at midnight (he was born at 10.40am) I said enough he's never gonna learn to latch if the food keeps getting squirted into him via syringe, the night midwife agreed and he was left to get hungry which happened only 40mins later. It took me 15mins but I got him on and he fed like a demon. For the rest of my stay at the hospital he fed great, only problem we had was he was jaundiced so they had me express after his feeds and try to syringe more into him. This normally resulted in DH then being vomitted on. By day 6 though I had a blister on my nipple, midwife said it was cause of a fissure on my nipple, I took him off that side for a day and he had a combo of the other boob and EBM and then I put him back on using rugby hold and that solved the problem. At around the same time my boobs starting get red patches and sore lumpy bits, midwife was concerned so put me on a 2 week course of antibiotics just in case it turned to mastitis and instructed me to put Spencer on the boob as much as poss.
Well this is where it all pretty much turned to custard, I still got mastitis despite being on the antibiotics but thankfully I was on them otherwise it could have been a hell of lot worse and Spencer started top up feeding and would be demanding food every 1 1/2hr and sometimes taking and hour to feed. I rode it out until the next midwife visit hoping I would get some good advice on how to fix it. Basically my midwife told me it was great he was feeding so often and that I should have been able to cope with it etc etc, I ended up crying and then she gave me a lecture about PND, DH stepped in at this point and that was that. Out of desperation for some sleep and not wanting to use formula we decided that I would express some feeds for DH to do. This worked quite well but I ended up with yet another infection, more antibiotics and no suggestions from doc or midwife as to what could be causing it. 6 weeks came and I was struggling to keep him on the boob as he preferred the bottle and I never fed him when out as it was far too stressful if he was having one of his fussy moments. I got another infection, more antiobiotics and my doc suggested stopping, I didn't. At 8 weeks I got another bout, more antibiotics and then the flu, my milk dropped right off and Spencer had some formula, DH took a week of work and I spent the whole time in bed and would just get up every 4 hours to express. After a whole week of just bottles he refused point blank to go on the boob so I expressed full time instead, sadly at 12 weeks I got another infection and I finally concluded that I should stop for my own health and sanity, he was fully weaned onto formula by 12.
Pretty much a huge mess as you see, I so wish my midwife had sent us to an LC, I believe that although she said (and every other midwife I saw said) that he was latching right that perhaps he wasn't and thats what caused the infections. I also think an LC could have helped us more to get out of the top up feeding without us resorting to expressing (which my midwife didn't actually recommend we just did it cos we didn't know what else to do).
But anywho, this time I have a different midwife and more knowledge and hopefully we will have a better outcome. Plus 3 months and all that crap is pretty good, so I still give myself a pat on the back.
Both my experiences have been completley different.
After Keira was born i just couldn't get her latched. I had to call in the nurse to latch her every time I fed. I managed to do it once in the hospital and then they let me go home. I got home and still couldn't do it. I very quickly got cracked bleeding nipples and got to a stage where she would be screaming to be fed and I would keep pulling away unable to put myself through the pain. It was excruciating, much worse even than giving birth. I dont think anyone had ever mentioned that bf'ing could be painful. Keira wasnt puttin on weight, I was exhausted and in the end we had to start topping up her feeds. I eventually got some help and worked out how to latch her properly (about 4 weeks later). She used to feed for 3-4 hours at a time and I wouldnt take her off because it would still hurt. Looking back I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. She was fed right up untill she was 18months. I think we had major problems because of Reflux which I should have taken her to the doctor to get help. She was also toungue tied and didn't have a big mouth.
Maddi breastfeeding has been a breeze. I was slightly worried as I had really bad scaring from Keira and one of my nipples had become inverted. For months before I had to stretch it out and it became raw and extreemly painful. That all somehow sorted it self out about 2 weeks before she was born and right from the first feed she got it, and has been feeding beautifully ever since. I was so surprised how short her feeds were - only 10 minutes! It makes it so much easier to discretley feed her and shes definately a lot happier baby than Keira.
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Breastfeeding experiences
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
DD was a perfect feeder and I didn't have any problems with latching on, and although I went through the ouchy nipple stage for about 5 days it got better after that. I ended up breastfeeding for 6 months, not bad for someone who was 99% certain that they weren't going to!
Maya wrote:
