Your parents

Been there/am there too! Although my sister is the youngest, and for her it wasn't that my parents were still having babies, its just that they are over the whole teenage angst thing, and they really don't parent her at all. I'm pretty annoyed at them about it. I figure if they chose to have 6 kids, they have to deal with having 6 teenagers, and they should be parents to ALL of us. I was kept on one heck of a short leash, and the one who is left basically has free reign. I've given up trying to get my parents to do anything and instead, I do my best to be there for my sister (hard given we live in different cities, but I talk to her a few times a week, and tell her off if she's being slack at school, and congratulate her when she does things well etc. And I let her vent as much as she likes about the parents).
Thats probably all you can do - let your sister know you understand how she feels and be there for her. Make sure she knows that she DOES have somewhere to go and someone to turn to if she needs it.
I guess your question was more about what to do with your mum - honestly, I'd maybe respond (in person, not in an email) something along the lines of "well, [sister] has a point!". If you think your sister is justified in feeling the way she is, then I think your mum has to realise how her having so many children and being spread thinly between you all has affected you. Once she's realised that, maybe you can help her come up with some actions that might change the way your sister feels.
Just my opinion, anyway

We all bug bear on our parents for one thing or another.

Sucks to be Maya being so much older than her three younger sisters and them being so high maintenance, but she just has to man up and deal with it. I'm sure there'll be times she'll moan about it growing up but once she's grown up I'm sure they'll all get on really well.

My mum spent three months in hospital having my youngest brother and countless weeks in hospital with the older brother as he's had ongoing health issues, surgeries etc. right thru to adulthood, and my dad worked overseas for months at a time. As a teenager it was a great vindicator to be able to say "it's all your fault, you were never here" as an excuse to act out, but I got over it. You realise that they were just trying to the best they could with what they had.

Hmm, I have become much more understanding of my parents 'parenting skills' since I became a Mother myself. I mean, hey none of us are perfect aye?!? It's a pretty hard road being a parent and I think that if you were fed, sheltered, educated and loved then you have nothing to complain about. They are just humans afterall. I think it's easy to take the victim road and blame parents for what happens in our own life, but I think that's rubbish really. I am the youngest of 7 children. We didn't have much money and my Mum was an alcoholic. But I know that they both loved us and did the best they could, so that's all I would expect.

The sister T is talking about isn't 12 now it as when she was 12 her mum finally stopped having children.

mummy_becks wrote: The sister T is talking about isn't 12 now it as when she was 12 her mum finally stopped having children.

 

oh haha, my bad. bizzy said "and yeah it sounds typical of a 12 yr old.. " so i just assumed.

She is going to be 17 next month. Oldest girl still at home.

Ah crap... just read post properly.

Maybe just think back to what you would have wanted to hear and tell your mum to tell her that?

Well first of all, I put her age wrong LOL she will be 16 next month.
I feel a bit torn about the whole situation. Mum and Dad's marriage is already in strife (has been for over 5yrs ) and what my sister said is actually quite true. They are both so focussed now on their marriage problems that they really don't spend any quality time with any of the kids. As the oldest, I very much felt like my sister does now, at her age, except for longer because the littlest wasn't even born until I was a couple of months off 20!

But with all that background, and Mum having very few friends, I know that what my sister said to her actually really hurt Mum. She hasn't a clue that most of us feel/felt that way. In the end, I just wrote back to her saying that she really needed to talk to friends about the situation, not her grown kids!