Delayed Toilet Training

E is 3y4m and still not interested in TT. She'll sit on the toilet before a bath but physically hold onto her bits and say " I don't want to do wees in the toilet".

We tried (and failed) a few times to strongly encourage her to wear undies but now that's a no go area.
She's a stubborn child by nature and has always been resistant to change.

So now I guess we're just playing the waiting game and are hoping that when she finally is ready it'll be all done and dusted in a few days as her only fear is the act of doing the wees in the toilet (or potty).

Her twin sister was TT just before they turned 3 and has been dry, day and night, for the last 3 months so I guess you could say we're 50% done on TT which is a pretty good statistic for 2 under 3.5

Anyhoo, I'm not extremely bothered about it all but I would love to hear about others who's kids didn't TT until older than 3, as all the kids we know are all TT now.

DS wasn't toilet trained til the week he turned 3. He could tell you he was going to do a poo at 18mths, and at 21mths we had all poos in the potty for 2 weeks, but he didn't get when he was weeing at all then (and was getting really stressed about it all, and daycare doesn't help at all til they are in the over 2s rm). By the time he did get when he was weeing DD was here (right when he turned 2) so we left it for a few months, and by that stage he didn't WANT to do it. So left it off and on, and tried everything. And that week he turned 3 DH did what Stacy did with Daniel --- made him sit there til he did a wee. We never had an accident at all as he was SOOOOO ready. It was just a case of not wanting to / fear of the loo. He still waited for a nappy to poo (sleep time or asked for one, no accidents ever) for a couple of months then randomly did a poo in the loo himself and came and told us about it, so excited. Hes been fine ever since (never had an accident since that time).

Not sure if that helps! But I think its pretty common for boys to not TT til around 3, as thats when most I know seemed to get it, but all the girls closer to 2.

I think being older they definitley get it quicker. But for my boy it seemed like he was never going to WANT to do it (happy in nappies!) even though he talked about it alot and sat on it, and knew which kids wore undies etc ... he needed a little extra shove in the right direction (I wasn't home when DH made him sit there!)

Ok since I posted this we tried to do a 'Potty Party' day where there were balloons, cake,streamers outside the bathroom, little $2 shops wrapped presents for rewards, and so on. We got her into undies but she still refused to 'perform' on the toilet.

We tried pinning her to toilet until she wee'd and also tickling her. Both scenarios caused extreme terror for her, so we won't be doing that again.

Now she's still in undies, and we've limited nappies to the bathroom/bed, so she asks for a nappy when she needs to do a wee/poo.
At least we've moved in the right direction. This scenario even works when we're out and about too and Kindy say they will support us with this.

Not sure how we're going to tackle that last step but at least this way I reckon she's perfecting her bladder control first.

Jack was about a month shy of 3 when he TT, just would not go on the toilet no matter how many times I tried him on there or however many rewards etc were given. I knew he was ready as he had been dry at night for quite some time before that.
In the end I out the potty in front of the tv and reminded him to go every half hour or so. I think the tv distracted him from thinking too much about sitting on the potty. It wasn't long before we got rid of the potty and moved to the toilet.

AandCsmum wrote: have you tried removing all nappies all together? Maybe show her the packet & say when this runs out there is no more nappies? She'd only have a few accidents before she realises??

Tried this a few times and I caved each time. That was when she knew there were some for bedtime. Currently, I think this will be our next step and we can get rid of them at night time too as most nights she stays dry.

AandCsmum wrote: have you asked her what her fear is about going on the toilet like her sister?

We've asked but get no response. I think it's just something foreign to her so is scared of something leaving her body like that. She hates not having control of what's happening in any situation.

I think for now we're happy just to let her be, meanwhile dropping subtle little hints like how she won't need my help when she sits on the toilet on her own and so on...
Plus her twin likes to remind her about where the correct place to do wees is

DD is 3 in September and not even close to being TT. She tells me she has done poos in her nappy but thats about it 

Well we've now progressed to getting her to sit on the toilet with the lid down and her pullup on.

We haven't pressured her in any way but would casually suggest options and hope that she would agree. I think she'll progress to sitting on the actual seat this weekend as we've shown her the lollies she'll get if she does


Once she decides to break the seal we'll be sorted. She's already dry at night and has impeccable bladder control.

Edited by tishy

Kellz wrote: Ive heard about people cutting a hole in the pullup- maybe this could be an extra step, if she doesnt take well to having the whole nappy off just yet.

ooh now that is an interesting idea - may just try it!

Is it the bathroom? We've had real ups and downs with toileting over the last year, my daughter's now 3y9m. Near the start of it all, she wouldn't go in the downstairs loo. Then I heard her saying to a friend who was using the toilet during a playdate, "it's scary in there isn't it?"
I'd asked her loads about this and she hadn't responded to me! So my husband came home with a few Thomas the Tank posters which we put up on the walls and she was happy to go in on her own then.
Good luck, it's a minefield. It'll happen when they're ready, however frustrated we get!

Haven't progressed past sitting on the toilet. We tried cutting holes in pullups but she cottoned on and then started inspecting each one in detail before putting it on

I got fed up spending a fortune on pullups so I resurrected the cloth nappies and now she'll sit on the toilet with one of those (with no inner) and then I pour it out while she's still sitting to help her get used to the noise.

We tried to strongly encourage no nappy for wees but that just forces her to clam up and resist even more.

We also tried to tell her she was a little baby again and that she wouldn't be a big girl until she did wees in the toilet. Unfortunately the girls are big into role playing so suddenly A having a 'baby sister' was great fun!

So now we've backed off completely and every so often we'll try entice her casually with a reward of sorts but are not putting any pressure on her for now.