So Angry right now!

Just really need to vent right now.... have had my first scan this afternoon and should have seen a bean/heartbeat but instead only a yolk sac. Am just so over this whole journey and can't even get my head around having to spend the next week doing bloods and another scan just to confirm the obvious. I'm so certain of my dates (keep note of everything) that there is no way they can be wrong. The part that guts me the most is that my stupid body doesn't even give me any idea this is happening. My hcg levels were still climbing normally on Thursday. Right now i still have really sore breasts and I haven't had any cramps, spotting etc. Its so devestating going in for a scan and being hit by a brick.... should get easier but it is just too much to take on time after time. Just want to throw a huge tanty and smash something right now!!

Whew, vent over... really needed that out sorry.

Thanks mumma2one... just feeling so sorry for myself - no one deserves this and there are plenty of ladies out there who have had worse... I just never imagined a life without one day having children, it just makes me feel very lonely (like something is missing) even with a wonderful husband, family and friends. Don't even know if that makes sense?

Edited by redtulip - 04 February 2013 at 8:50pm

Oh no Redtulip, I am so so so sorry

I have no words, my heart breaks for you and what you must be going through. The dreaded 1st scan... what a nightmare. As soon as I saw your post I felt really upset for you. Oh hun, I am so sorry :(

Redtulip, im so sorry to hear that! Did you end up going to work? Distraction can be good I guess but I hope you're looking after yourself as best you can. Its such a crappy, unsettling waiting time (to say the least). Hugs!

Thanks Redtulip, those are very kind words. Must admit when I heard what happened with your bean, I instantly went into panic meltdown. I felt your pain and it brought up all sorts of insecurities for me. I hope you don't give up and that you will be successful in your baby plans. You seem to be able to conceive without trouble, I wonder if the specialists can figure out what is causing things to go array.

*** HUGS ***

Thanks MrsMac, really appreciate your message - just when I thought I'd heard it all I had someone say to me yesterday, "it must make it so much harder for you knowing that you're the one with the problem".... (my DH has a son from a previous relationship)......... are you kidding me!!? Who needs enemies!
Anyway, feeling ok and know that I will be fine, just takes a little time.   

I am so sorry you are going through this again.   Its never fair and never easy. Be kind to yourself and take care.

I thought I had heard some pretty insensitive things in the but that comment made to you really does take the cake. Unbelievable!!!