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caitlynsmygirl 
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 Topic: Would it be ok
Posted: 24 February 2009 at 8:40pm |
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As most of you know my friend died from a blood clot 3 weeks after her daughter was born , it will be 2 years since she died on the 29th of June .
I grew up with her , knew her since I was 6 and as excited as I am about getting married in (eek ) 4 days , it breaks my heart that she wont be here as well , that and my grandma (who passed away 2 years on the 7th of March ) wont be there to see me get married .
The minister is mentioning my grandma in the service, but at some time during the wedding or reception Id like my friend mentioned too...would that be weird? my bestfriend and bridesmaid (who also grew up with her ) will be happy to do it , I just don't know if that sort of thing is mentioned ?
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BugTeeny
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 8:44pm |
I absolutely think you should mention her.
She's important to you and deserves to be remembered on your special day 
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Leish
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 8:44pm |
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Yep it sure is. Someone will usually do a speech/toast to absent friends which can include people important that have passed away. I think its a nice way to remember important people that have passed on before your special day.
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littleLittle
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 8:48pm |
I think it would be a lovely idea. She obviously meant a lot to you and the people at your wedding will know that so everyone will know that you're thinking of her on your special day.
There is usually mention at some stage of 'absent friends' and it's always kind of special when specific people get mentioned.
Congrats on the big day though! It's such a fun day and it definitely goes way too fast so make the most of it and enjoy every minute!!
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caliandjack
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 8:50pm |
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Yup its definately the done thing these days, we did that as part of the speeches to my mum and others that have since died and couldn't be there.
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 9:12pm |
Yep in the toast to absent friends get the person who is doing it to actually mention her and the relationship you have.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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kellie
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 9:16pm |
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You definately should.
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fire_engine
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 9:19pm |
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Definitely not weird
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Mum to two wee boys
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Kels
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 9:29pm |
 MamaPickle wrote:
I absolutely think you should mention her.
She's important to you and deserves to be remembered on your special day
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totally agree
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 9:50pm |
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Thanks so much guys , I feel a lot more reassured knowing that its not strange to do at a wedding .
Will also mention DFs best friend that drowned when they were 18 as well
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 9:50pm |
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Absolutely meantion her. I meantioned my Grandpop even though he died 15 years before my wedding.
They make an impact on our lives & help shape us to be the people we are today & we carry their memory close in our hearts forever.
Huge congrats as well.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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Snappy
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Posted: 24 February 2009 at 10:47pm |
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Absolutely, and what everyone else said. We had the minister mention lost loved ones during our service just briefly.
Another thing I did was put my bouquet on my grandfathers grave the day after the wedding. DH put the bridesmaids ones on his aunts grave as well. It was just our way of including and acknowledging them.
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Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz.
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kiwisj
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 1:08am |
Definitely not weird, I think it's a lovely thing to do. Our celebrant mentioned my Grandad and DH's Nan in our service and DH spoke about them in his speech too.
BTW - 3 days to go!!!  Exciting!!!!!!
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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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james
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 6:55am |
yep a lovey idea kelly 
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blondy
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 7:12am |
not weird at all - we generally mentioned people that couldn't be with us at our wedding, but specifically named individuals that were very important to us - my Mum in particular, and we even had a candle burning all through the ceremony to represent her presence there.
and yikes on 3 days! 
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Kazzle
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 7:59am |
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we had a little memory table set up just in front of our wedding table, with photos on there of friends and family who had passed, and we made a mention of them and how we felt blessed they were watching over us etc etc
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pomikiwi
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 8:32am |
Yep hun I would! Lovely thing to do
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flakesitchyfeet
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 8:52am |
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Go for it. :) I stuck photos of people who were desperately wanted at the wedding but weren't with us any more, with a single candle on a table in the entrance of our ceremony venue. Of course you are going to think about and want to acknowledge loved ones on this awesome day :)
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IVFGirl1111
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 8:58am |
My best friend died at 18 and would have been my bridesmaid too - we had letters from when we were 13 with our signatures on it saying that we promise each other to be a bridesmaid!
When my Dad did his speech and toasted to absent friends, I asked him not to mention her in the end as I was pretty upset that she couldnt be there, I was hoping I wouldnt regret him not saying her name, but I didnt in the end thank goodness! But I say if you can handle it then yes do it!
What I did for my best friend was the night before the wedding I went round to her parents house and gave them her bridesmaid pack, they wernt home but I just left it at the door, then on the morning of our wedding I went down to the cemertary and put a bouquet of flowers on her grave - exactly the same as the bridesmaids. 
Her parents came up to me after the wedding and we all cried together and then laughed and smiled about how she was with us etc.
Just an idea if you wanted to do something for your friend?
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BuzzyBee
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Posted: 25 February 2009 at 9:00am |
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I'd def give your friend a mention, it sounds like she was a huge part of your life - and still is! Nothing wrong with that at all hun
.....And OMG 3 days to go!!!!!
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Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :)
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Would it be ok
