Beware DP Rant

Hugs to you Lanata!!!

Men can definitely be very........how do I put it......STUPID at times!!!

I spend alot of time parenting on my own as DH is away alot so when he comes home he is very helpful, but in saying that he has no sense of urgency about anything e.g. baby is screaming and I am asking him to get something for her while I try and settle her and he is honestly like a tortoise!!! takes forever, and if I say anything like "hurry up!" he takes is personally and then I end up apologising WTF!

Having a baby is a real stress on a relationship and your emotions are so all over the place, what your feeling sounds completely normal to me (and he sounds like alot of "normal" men) but talking to him about it would probably help (I am a crier too when I talk about things that upset me) I usually write things down and then read from that if I have too, sometimes writing them down is enough for me!

I hope today is a better day for you

It is hard when your at home with baby all day and just want a break. Your baby is still new so remember its not going to be like this forever (feeding all day, tiredness etc.)

Also men sometimes don't really know what to do with a new baby, especially if your breastfeeding men don't really think they are needed. So maybe come up with a plan like your DP baths baby or reads her stories or something so he knows what hes suppose to be doing. It gets easier for them as baby gets older and actually enjoys playing. Praise him when he does do stuff and let him do it his way even if its not the way you would do it.

When you have your talk to him explain that you don't like having a messy house either but right now you are doing as much as you can and if he doesn't like it he can do more. On the weekends maybe tell him he is responsible for Tayla for a morning so you can have a good sleep in and you are only there for bfing. Let him have a sleep in the next day so you are both feeling great for Monday.

The great thing about little babies is you can take them anywhere so maybe try go out for lunch just the three of you or something to keep things good between you two.

Anyway hugs hun we have all been there .

Ahhh .. well I see both sides of the story as I was the SAHM and now DH is the SAHD.

And to be honest .. after working all day id be PO if I was "thrown a child" as soon as I walked in the door lol.

DH lets me sit down for 10 minutes ... get my breathe back after a long day and THEN Im on Mummy duty...although if Issy is awake when I get in, its more like a sit on the couch while a toddler bombards you .. but still I just need to take a breathe, shake of the day and get back into parent mode

Although it works both ways .. on the day that I am at home with Issy (when DH is in school) .. I let him get changed and potter for a bit, before I expect him to help out even when she has been a right madam all day long

Anyway .. I just wanted to shed some light from a DH point of view.

We have the same problems in this household too sometimes, but like lilfatty said, I always let DH sit down and get out of his uniform and all that before I give Caden to him. When he gets home Im shattered, being pregnant and looking after a 9 month old, but he is also tired from working all day, so I guess its a give give situtation.

On the weekends however, I get very angry at DH when he will sit on his bum and play PS3 while Im running round like a blueass fly! So what I do now is, on either a Saturday or Sunday I go out and DH stays home with Caden, and DH likes that he can have daddy/son time and that I can have a rest!

Guys just don't get it. I think we all go through this, & it is really hard being at home all the time with a new baby, I still have days where I can't get stuff done & time to myself only exist when they are in bed & then I'm too tired to care.

If possible when baby sleeps during the day if she does put your feet up & rest. Also put up a "his time" roster so when he gets home from work & gets changed then he has baby time. Good luck & hang in there.

I was going to say what Sabrina said. DH spent last week at home as he had no work & one of those days we sat on the couch most of the day. I don't bother asking DH to do stuff as he cooks tea but I did comment to him later afternoon that "it's one of those days that nothing gets done" I'd had my boob in Coopers mouth pretty much all day & he's gone quiet on what he thinks I should or shouldn't do as well.

My theory is to get it all done by the weekend cause then we can spend the weekend doing what ever we want & if I have a dog show on I know I can go away & not have to do much when I get home.

Also I'm usually sitting on the couch feeding when DH comes in so by the time I finish I try & hand him over but he does need to get changed because of his cloths being dirty, but if he doesn't I put Cooper in the rocker in front of him or on the mat on the floor & leave the room so he's automatically the person in charge. So doing that might be an option if he comes in & sits down.

My Dh does similar with the helping with housework rather than with the children, so he is helping but sometimes not giving me the break from the children that I need. I think the best thing you can do is just say something like "hey you look after baby and I'll get that washing done". Saves a lot of agro and upset on both your parts.
Also if I've had a good day, I tell DH that so that I'm not always moaning about stuff and if I can (sometimes he is home in the mornings and then goes to work) I let him have a sit down and a cuppa first before getting him to help with anything.
I suppose what helps us most is that DH has both kids quite often and he manages to get nothing done so he realises just how hard it is having them both.

Arrgh so glad to get online and fnd this thread!!! DP was out last night at a guy thing with my dad which was very nice for him but I was at home with a toddler who refused to sleep coz he was overtired and it took 2 hours of battles before he finally crashed out. I let DP sleep in this morning and got up at 7.30 w Jake and spent the next couple of hours amusing my very grotty child (doncha hate the days when they just wake up FOUL???), tidying the house, loading the dishwasher, doing washing (stuff I didn't get done last night because of Jake!) then woke him (DP) up to have a shower and breaky. DP and Jake have a standing park date every weekend so they took off for an hour which was great but once they were home that was his duty done as far as DP was concerned. He promptly crashed out on the couch with his book. I was out weeding our vege patch and feeding the chickens and tryna keep grumpy Jake amused and just generally getting frustrated! Yelled for DP a coupla times but when he finally wandered out he informed me that he'd had the stereo on so I shouldn't yell I should come inside grrrrr I was up to my knees in mud fertilising OUR veges!!!!! Anyway he was very charming after that but still didn't actually do anything helpful. I had to go get cleaned up to make Jake lunch and get him down for a nap and DP is back on the couch with his book I'm gona hide the bloody thing!!! I've still got washing to hang out and floors to wash which are S'POSED to be his jobs on the weekend but unless I do it it's not gona get done!

OK thanks for the chance to rant - now I can go be nice and hopefully avoid a fight coz thats the best way to wreck a weekend round here!!