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jax 
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 Topic: Anxiety / PND
Posted: 27 August 2006 at 2:34pm |
Well, I wasn't really sure how to get this thread started, or if I even should... but figured that if I didn't do it now I never would, and at least starting by getting it out in the open was something. And what better place to talk about it than here?
Anyway, I've come to realise that I need to take a second look at the anxiety symptoms I have been experiencing lately... and have also realised (with difficulty) that it borders on mild PND.
For a while it had started to become quite bad, and I did go see my GP about it (the one I used to go to when I was living on the other side of Auckland), but I was hesitant about taking what she prescribed me because of potential side effects.
I also started to take Vitamin B and St Johns Wort as I wanted to figure out if I could get by on those instead, and they helped significantly, but things are starting to creep up on me again and ultimately I want to knock it on the head so I can get on with enjoying life.
It's generally physical stuff like some loss of appetite, mild nausea, 'tinglyness' and muscle tension, feeling a bit jittery etc, with the occasional tension headache. It comes and goes, but again has started 'coming' more often than I would like.
I have my six week check up for myself on Tuesday along with Erin's jabs, and I'm going to have another discussion with the doc (it will be a different one though, more local, but thats OK) and see if we can come to a short term solution for treatment.
Fortunately I do have a lot of support that I can call on as well, as having company and someone to talk to when I need it has really become key in me trying to help myself to feel better. My mum has been fantastic, she is quitting her part time office job soon (although not on account of me) and will just be living off part time teaching (English as a second language)... but have more free time to come over and help with things. And of course there's Roland, who I *would* go a bit crazy without ! Last but not least, there are you ladies... who I am eternally grateful for 
So... sorry about the rambliness... but like I said, I figured getting this out there is a start to "mending" things, and if anyone else is maybe feeling like this - we can use this thread as a means of support etc.
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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Kazzle
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 2:41pm |
*Big hugs Jax* 
Even though i dont know what you are going through, just know i am always there if you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk too.
As i said to you early i am pleased you are going to talk to the doctor as the quicker it is dealt with the easier it is.
Lots of love
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Jay_R
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:21pm |
Hey Jax, really sorry to hear you are going through that. I've been very lucky as I've had only one or two moments of feeling down - I've suffered from depression for a lot of my life but with the help of counselling and a very supportive partner have managed to beat it. I was very scared that it would come back in full force after baby, but crossed fingers it's not. There is a wonderful support network that your GP can refer you too called Maternal Mental Health. I was referred to them during pregnancy as a kind of safetynet but have been 'discharged' from them as I did not need them. Ask your GP to refer you, as they are fantastic. Take care chick, and if you need to chat then PM me
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mum2paris
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:36pm |
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Jax, well done on realising... and seeking help - while i'd like to say that is the hardest part - it isn't it's the dealing day to day with everything. I took a long time to realise it.. it took my sister to tell me i had it after completely freaking out and ending up sobbing when i went to stay at my sisters house when Paris was 3 months old. I would go up town and even in the middle of town i would just get waves of nausea, heart would thump, i'd get dizzy and it was so scary.. I would describe it as looking though a foggy window.. and at my worst i wasn't physically capable of showing emotion.. i lived in fear of someone finally realising just how bad a mother i was. I then began starting to get the anxiety when mike wasn't home - i would have to ring him when i felt like it in case something happened - if i didn't ring him back within 10 minutes when they usually had passed he would get worried as hell. I also got crippling stomach pains nausea and loss of appetite... and ended up being investigated for all sorts of medical stuff which they found nothing...and made me feel like i really was going nuts.
Good on you for starting this post, they pop up from time to time and even though it's not nice.. you'll find that there are alot of us that have gone through the same, and still deal with the little remainders each day.
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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Paws
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:42pm |
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Big hugs to you sweetie. I'm really glad that you are seeking help. I'm presuming you will be seeing either Angela or Monique and you can rest assure that you will be in good hands with them and they won't put you on anything you don't need.
And don't forget if you need me or just want to hang out or whatever...don't hesitate to call me!
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daikini
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:43pm |
I'm just a phone call away anytime, Jax! 
I'm proud of you for looking into what you are feeling and not trying to go it alone!
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Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys
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AlyAyde
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 4:29pm |
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Jayde 25/12/04
Alyssa 08/04/03
http://Alyayde.bebo.com
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jax
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 4:46pm |
Kaz - thanks hun, I really appreciate it ! And you're right, the sooner I sort things out the better. I was dragging my feet a little I guess, but can't afford to do that all the time !
Clare - thanks for the reminder about Maternal Mental Health, I think my mum mentioned something about them once, and I will bring it up on Tuesday when I see the GP for my six week check.
Janine - I've been down the anxiety / depression road before, so I'm reasonably aware of what the signs are... mind you, even with this it *is* still a little difficult to ask for help ! But like I said to Kaz, I can't really afford to keep dragging my feet - I just want things to be calm and normal ALL the time instead of just part of the time.
Gen - Yep, I will be seeing Angela, and am going to finally properly register myself as well as Erin... since it would be too much of a PITA to go all the way over the bridge to Mission Bay to see my old doc (as much as I love her!). I'm looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday too, but wouldn't mind hanging out more often if you think you could manage it LOL I find that just having company is a huge help.
Becca - I will try to remember to ring you sometime this week, since I reckon I owe you a call from when I was in hospital and you left that lovely message of support for me on my voicemail, can't quite remember how I managed to miss your call, as it would have been really good to chat. Mind you, it's handy having MSN as well
Maria - thanks for the hugs, I appreciate it heaps too !!
Anyway... overall, had a bit of a yucky morning, just feeling a bit weary and tense, kinda nauseous when I woke up. Plus Erin has been a bit grizzly and even though I know she is fine, that made me feel a bit more tired etc... She's gone down well now, even though her afternoon feed was a bit early, and I am actually feeling really good just at this very moment - so hoping that continues. I guess sometimes I worry that I'm projecting my anxiety / tension onto her unintentionally or something, even though I try my best not to - I worry again that maybe when she *is* unsettled (despite being a super cruisy baby the majority of the time) that she's picking up on my feelings. Neurotic eh? Or maybe not, but this kind of thing is exactly why I want to get things sorted ASAP.
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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Peace
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 7:03pm |
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Good on you for identifying that you need help and are seeking it, just think you have probably given someone else the ability to admit there is something not quite right about they way they feel!
I myself have some anxiety attacks as my little girl has a heart murmur. What I try to remember is that I am a good mum, and a good mum worries and they do it for the rest of the childs life!
There are some good ways to blow out stress that I use:
Rescue Remedy - 3 drops on the tongue and chill, good for Olivia as well when she gets a bit emotional during teething.
Humour - movies, radio shows, internet. A good laugh is what relieves a bit of strain.
Talking - And so many of us do it, online and offline. I have a girlfriend who has a daughter similar in age to my own and we burn each others ears off on the phone.
Fresh Air - Did you know that sunlight makes your brain produce serotonin which makes you happy? Admittedly I haven't been doing this one lately, but I am getting started this week, my waiste line demands action!
Chocolate - Produces endorphines and makes you happy, after a heavily stressful day with a cardiologist last week I ate a big block of that lemon cheese cake stuff over a 24 hour period. Although it was VERY bad, I felt really good!
I am a big supporter of people identifying that they have PND, my mum had depression relating to pregnancy for nearly 18 years before she was properly taken care of! So all these things help and you are very very brave!
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DD1 May 2006
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 7:08pm |
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Sorry to hear that your going through that Jax but good on you for recognising the symptoms and not being afraid to get treatment for it. I think the biggest step in PND is having the guts to go and get help. Good on ya chick and i hope you feel better soon!
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james
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 8:33pm |
jax big hugs girl i have been thur deperession my self aswell as seen familiy go thur it as well the most important thing is to reach out for help and i no this donst help at the mo but you will be fine big hugs hunny 
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jax
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 8:54pm |
having a hard night tonight, just spent 20 mins blubbing to my husband and still feeling so tired... it has all piled up on me a bit  hopefully it will pass tho, and we will have a good night in the end...
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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Peace
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Posted: 27 August 2006 at 10:35pm |
Jax, I hope he's a good listener!
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DD1 May 2006
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DD3 August 2012
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jax
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Posted: 28 August 2006 at 7:39am |
Yup, he's an awesome listener. I know it's hard for him to understand what I'm feeling because he's never had any issues with depression before, but he does a good job anyway. We had a pretty good night actually, Erin didn't wake up until 4:30am when we'd put her down just after 10pm... I think she's up now, but that's OK too
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 28 August 2006 at 9:34am |
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Jax, I had PND with Andrew. I got it when he was about 5 months old when I went back to work full time. So can totally understand how you are feeling. All I wanted to do at times was just cry and be by myself, then have the big talk with people. Good to see you have that support network in place as they are the best things to have. As I went back to work, my work was the best. They gave me days off paid to spend with Andrew and DH (usually Friday so I could have a 3 day weekend) at one stage I worked 8-12 and was paid for the full 8-4 (7.5 hours) just to have that time to myself. I too was really hesitant about the prescribed stuff and stuff to the natural stuff. Took me about 5 months to get over it fully and with this one I will know what to do if it happens again. And don't listen to Tom Cruise - if you have to take the drugs you can.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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mrs frantic
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Posted: 28 August 2006 at 9:38am |
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Jax I dont know about PND but I have suffered from depression before and it's hard to realise that things are not right with yourself, esp if you are like me and have always coped really well with everything - for me I was just rationalising it away as a series of bad days... luckily my mum had suffered it before and she recognised all my symptoms and suggested to me that I might be depressed - I was really angry with her at first, to be honest I didnt really "believe" in depression, didnt grasp it as a concept (what do you mean you feel "sad" all the time?!?!?), but looking back on it now it was really obvious what was happening to everyone but me really... I was on medication for about 7 - 8 months I think and I havent had a problem since (almost 10 years ago now)...
Anyway - from my experience is can be hard to see it from the inside, but it really isnt a big deal once you realised what is is - it's just a case of treating it...
I am rambling now but what I wanted to say was good on you for talkigng about it, trust your instincts and look after yourself, cos your little girl needs her mum to be happy and healthy...
best of luck
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Mrs Frantic
Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006
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Maya
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Posted: 28 August 2006 at 2:06pm |
Big hugs Jax - I won't tell you my story again coz you've already heard it and that might bore you into even worse depression...
Anyways, there's an article in this months Parenting magazine on coping when your partner is sick, and there is a whole section on helping your partner when he/she has depression. Might not help, but might give Roland some ideas. It certainly made sense to me when I read it.
Good luck with the doc and Erin's jabs...
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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jax
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Posted: 31 August 2006 at 7:24am |
Bad bad night last night  Have been up and down with insomnia and feeling jittery and nauseous since 3:30am. Managed to feed Erin OK around 5am, and she went straight back down, and I maybe napped for half an hour... but now I'm wide awake and just trying to get through until my mum can come over around 9am this morning. This is all just so yuck *sigh* I rang the counselling people at the hospital that are handling my referral to Maternal Mental Health, and had a chat to someone for a bit... but the main team doesn't get in until later this morning either, and it could still be a while before they ring me. Oh well, what can I do? I will just have to live with it. Sorry about the big ramble folks... just another day in the life of me !
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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AlyAyde
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Posted: 31 August 2006 at 7:49am |
Oh poor you. Yay for mums though aye. Hope the hospital team gets back to you soon.
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Jayde 25/12/04
Alyssa 08/04/03
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 31 August 2006 at 8:28am |
Hope someone can give you a call soon and mums are great arent they!
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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Anxiety / PND
