Dad staying home?

Ok, so, you all know i have just started work..and this is no way saying that i think we should deserve assistance etc rant rave blah.. but, all we qualify for now, is $127 a fortnight thru ird... before that, we were getting our daycare payed for (600 a fortnight) money thru ird of $358 fornightly, plus accomodation supplement of $100 a week. as you can imagine.. that's about $1100 bucks per fortnight... take it all away, and on my new wage.. of approx $940 a fortnight after tax.. plus $127 which we now qualify for.. we are actually WORSE OFF with me working... seriously. leaving us with.. no money to save, no money for the wedding, and no money left over each week like we used to have.. (a little bit). again, am thankful for what we do get.. just seems like a huge dive when i really thought we would be going up in the world.


SOOOOO.. here's the question. Mike has always wanted to stay home with the girls, he despises that we pay $600 a fortnight in daycare.. and has figured that the money we pay out in daycare, coupled with the money we have now lost thru ird alone... makes up what his wages would be anyway.. he is working to pay for daycare and that's it.      

How many, if any, of you, have had daddy stay at home and look after the kids? how did it work out? and is the IRD family assistance etc still the same for if Daddy stays home instead of mum. We at this point are still thinking of at least giving them 3 mornings a week still at daycare for that interaction, plus paris should be able to start Kindy soon so that gives her a bit more time with other kids without taking her away from all her friends etc that she knows and loves.

Mike put this idea to me before.. when i was sitting staring blankly at our new budget when he came home for lunch. I can see the merit.. but am scared that he would go seriously insane!! I also feel really bad for the idea that he would give up a job, and would rather get IRD assistance so that we are better off.
I like that our girls would have more time at home - it would mean that when i am home.. be it weekend or weekday.. we are together... but i just feel wrong and a bit worried too.

Ideas ladies - anything would be great about now.. am having a real down day.

sorry for the long post.

That's what i am thinking.. no, we no longer qualify for any daycare assisstance (i think we marginally go ovewr the threshold..) nor accomodation

I have done a ring around and figured out costs...

If we continue as we are, both working, we get $196 over per fortnight to spend/emergencies/save..

If mike gives up work.. we get $150 over per fortnight.

We are $46 a frotnight better off with both of us working.

so i guess it's all a call of what quality of life we have either way...

either mike stays home, we have less money
or we both work, the girls are in full time daycare, and we are better off by about $20 a week.. but probably stressed and insane.

I dunno i think mike wants to go back and do a management course or whatever.. so we'll see what happens.

thanks for your thoughts.

Its a toughie. I have the same sort of decision to make soon to. I have been filling in at work while some one is away after having an operation. that will be up in 6 weeks. We are better off financially if I work, but its really hard on all of us, esp Jase who is tired at the end of the day, and then has to look after Alex while I work. (I work nights). But he loves the time alone with Alex, and I think its really good they have that time together. In the end we are thinking I will stop working, just because we don't have much time for the 2 of us, and that has started to have an impact on our relationship. But its hard to decide what to do!!

If he wanted to study that would probably be a good option, if not he would prob go loopy - I know Daniel would. We have thought about this too cos I can earn a lot more at the moment, but for us it wouldnt work. I guess Mike has to know that being home with the kids for a day here and there is TOTALLY differnent to every single day, and if he does realise that then he may be okay doing it... Money sucks!! Good luck Janine

hubby and i have an arrangement where I will stay home for the next 2 years then he will stay home for the next 2.5 years so he gets some time with both kobe and addison before they go to school. He has always wanted to be a stay at home dad but we get free health insurance and superann through his work so need to be in a better financial position before he can give up but I think that its only fair he gets to stay home for a bit with the kids and then we will both work school hours when they are at school. Only catch is I said he has to go the playgroup and music and movements etc... i dont think the kids should miss out just cos dad is to shy to take them.

If he really want's to od it hten I would say go for it like you said it's better fot the kid's to be at home a little more and plus you have worked really hard for your nursing and if Mike staying home is less stressful for you all and you will be able to enjoy your job more hten go for it. If Pete and I were in hte same situation then we would go for it.

What about trialing it for a week to see what he thinks. See if he can take a week of annual leave and the girls can take a week out of daycare for a holiday and see how he likes it at the end of the week as the if he really wants to do it. He could also try part time work and having the girls at home part time, that way he could do his study and still have the adult contact.

thats a good idea about the wedding Janine. Since you guys live together and (i'm guessing) have everything you need already - people are probably wondering what on earth to give you.

Yeah, good idea... asking people to pay a bit for their food instead of providing an elaborate gift will probably save them heaps!!! (People seem to go a bit mad with buying wedding gifts... I know I'm going to when I finally con some of my friends to get married.)

we r deciding on whether guests pay for their meal and we pay drinks or we pay meal and they pay drinks(then it up to guests as to how drunk they get by what their bank acc allows,make sense??)