D is for doormat

I'm not sure how this has happened, but I've been 'volunteered' to make the cake for DP's daughter to take to school for her birthday this week.

I'll freely admit that I'm a bit of cake decorating nerd so yes it is natural to come knock on my door when you need a cake. So it is more than likely that the child herself has probably asked that I make her 'school' cake.

However it takes a fair bit of time to create a proper cake and I've already got 2 to make this week for the kiddo's birthday: one for actual birthday where we've got some family in from out of town and then one for her party later in the week.

The worst bit is that I wasn't even asked if I would like to come to school to see her blow out the candles. Yes me coming would involve a big scene with the mum which would be horrible for the kiddo. But at the same time, if I'm not important enough to be invited along, then obviously you don't need me to make your child's birthday cake.

Of course like an idiot, I'm arranging to go home early so that I can get this extra cake done. But I might be shedding a few tears in the process.

Sadly the title of your thread is correct, sounds like you get used a lot by your step-kiddos nearest and dearest. Sure its great that you are going to such a lot of effort but doesn't sound like its being appreciated much.

If its such an issue for the mum let her buy a cake for school. 3 cakes gee a bit spoilt is she.

I'd go on strike and have a tanty . 

What's wrong with the other lady in this equation making the cake?  She's gotta learn to take the good with the bad, and perhaps your cake should = your entitlement to be there?

In total this child will get 4 cakes

She's already had cake #1 at the party her mother threw for her this weekend.

Cake #2 will be on her actual birthday for dinner. I'm happy to make this cake as it's a family occasion, my folks will be there as well as some of DP's family.

Cake #3 is at her Dad's birthday party which I feel like DP got manipulated into by both the child and her mother (kid wanted party an expensive venue, mummy didn't want to pay for it so all of sudden it was Daddy hosting this party) but that's another rant for another day. Nevertheless a lot of my friends with their kids will be there so I don't mind putting my efforts into doing something for that occasion.

But yeah the 'school cake' is the one that annoys me. I keep thinking to myself 'doesn't this fall under the category of something a mother should do/buy for their kids?'

So how many post-divorce cliches have I hit in this post? I'm thinking way too many.

Man, doormat is right

I hate to say it, but I'm in agreement with Shezzey.

4 cakes? Gosh, my parents divorced when I was 7 and I don't recall ever getting multiple birthday parties or a million presents.
If only

I say put your foot down and buy one
You deserve to be treated better.
And as hard as it is, I'm sure, you should demand it.

mind you some kids get more than one party regardless of wether their parents are divorced or not... one for daycare, one for home at dinner on the day and one for a party with friends... I dont think one for school is normal tho.

maybe you could not make one for her actual birthday and instead do a really nice dessert. and When all her friends at school go "wow what a cool cake" she will be albe to tell them you made it and that will make her mum feel stink anyway... cause even tho you wont be there you will be the champion of the day!

Edited by Bizzy

ARGH what a situation.

Can I just throw a spanner in and ask why kids must take a cake to school? I'm assuming primary?

I've never heard of a kid taking a birthday cake to school before! But it may be done now, I don't know... Chloe isn't school age yet

I would tell the Mum that if she wants you to do the school cake she will have to pay for it, otherwise she can buy one.

Goodness me, I hope this isn't setting a precident either. We've just kicked out the result of what happens with over the top spoling, and I'd hate to see any other stepo parent or indeed parent have to go through what we have.
I personally think the wee poppet is a bit spolit, to be honest, sounds like parents and extended family going overboard to make up for her parents splitting etc.
And I do think you are being taken advantage of. This is well out of the relms of "normal" - the "school cake" thing..

(and who ever heard of such a thing? a bit ott if oyu ask me)