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meow
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Topic: SAHMs Posted: 24 November 2006 at 3:55pm |
I'm wondering if I am the only mum here who stays at home with only one child over 2? Ella is almost 2.5 years.. anyone else only have one child who is older than her and stays at home?
We're not having another one *yet* either.
When I was pregnant with Ella I decided that I would stay at home with her.. didn't have a timeframe in mind of when I would go back to work, and still don't. Lately I have been getting comments and hints that I don't do anything. ha.. I don't do any paid work regularly (I am slowly working on a paid design job but no rush) but am always busy doing all sorts of things, mainly for others.
I admit to being old fashioned! When I was little, most mums stayed at home.. I want to be there to watch my daughter grow up, and to raise her. I'm sick of trying to justify myself to others..
Rant over.. oh and I'm not taking a dig at mum's who work either, this is just what I've decided for our family.
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 3:59pm |
Hannahs younger than 2 obviously, but I dont plan on going back to work full time until she is at school. At the moment I work one day during the week (only for a few months tho covering maternity leave) and I work 2 full weekends a month. That is enough for me and am quite happy staying at home with her. If my mum didnt watch her while I work, I wouldn't be working. I know lots of mums here who are SAHMs to older kiddies. You are doing the most important job, and even tho its isnt paid in $$ watching Ella growing up is payment in itself (sounds corny doesnt it?!). Keep up the good work
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
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Paws
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 5:32pm |
If we find we can manage the budget I would prefer not to go back to work until our last child is school. Both B and I grew up with SAHM's.
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AlyAyde
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 5:46pm |
Before we had kids Dh and i decided that I would be a SAHM for our child/ren until they are school aged. We were both raised like that.
I do often get comments such as when am i going back to work? or the worst one is when am i going to do some real work? I know that working mums have it tough and i personally dont know how they keep it all running. BUT I do think that stay at home mums do do real work. My day is chocker block filled with doing stuff with and for my kids. I love my job.
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my2angels
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 6:21pm |
I dont plan on working full time until the kids are at home, I only work 9 hours now and even when they are at school i will only work if its school hours and I can take time off for school things like sports days etc... at this stage we are lucky enough i can pick and choose like that and fingers crossed it stays that way. I want to be an involved parent, the one that goes on school camps and helps out etc...
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jax
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 6:48pm |
I want to be a SAHM for as long as we can manage, but I think DH has other ideas *sigh*
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
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ellabellame
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 8:19pm |
same here jax, i'd love to stay home and watch mikey grow up but i think DP wants be to go back to work ASAP.
actually i think i'm being unfair in saying that, he's never said "you should go back to work" but he's hinted.
maria-i can't believe someone has actually said that you should do some "real work"!!  whoever said that obviously has never stayed at home and looked after young children before.
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busymum
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 8:50pm |
I am a SAHM and Hannah (my eldest) is almost three. I have taken her to playcentre once a week before, but it wasn't really her thing (she gets a bit overwhelmed) so we have joined a small playgroup instead - me and two friends and our kiddies - and have recently started going to Mainly Music (or Twinkle Toes or whatever they call it lol).
I really hate the questions as well. Maybe I should tell everyone I'm a kindergarten teacher  . When I do things to help others, I take my girls along with me and hope I pass on something - after all, that's what parents are for, right? And I'd be jealous if anyone else was seeing first steps and all that... I love how I know exactly where she's at and be the one to teach colours and shapes and sharing and all those things.
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Maya
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 8:58pm |
LMAO at the "get a real job" comment! I'm a working Mum (on leave but still a working Mum) and I take my hat off to all the SAHM's - I couldn't do it, I would go stark raving mad! My Mum was a SAHM and she was so good at it,but it is such a hard job! My 'paid' job is easier any day - you SAHM's are legends! I would be terrified - even the thought of having Maya off preschool for a month over christmas kind of gives me cold sweats!
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EllenMumof2
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 9:53pm |
I was a SAHM with Kalem till he was 4 when i got preggies with Madison i got comments from people to mostly well meaning family members lol but you do whats best for you.
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Jennz
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 10:25pm |
I had always thought I would take up something part time when Charlotte started at nursery school- as it turned out I got pregnant pretty much as soon as she started so it seemed a bit pointless. Although, to be honest I don't know if I would have even if I hadn't of got pregnant! I love being at home with her and we have even decided that once both kids are at school I will only get a part time job so it means I can drop them off and pick them up- go on school trips etc. My job now is to be the best Mum I can and for me that is being really hands on and involved.
I think you do get alot of pressure to go back to work once the kids get to a certain age- woman are expected to do it all now days. Its like people think if you work too much you shouldn't have kids just for other people to raise and if you don't work then you're a lazy bludger. People are always going to judge- it would be awful for you to be pressured into going back to work before your ready and then having that guilt just because of what other people (who have nothing to do with your family) thought.
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yummymummy
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Posted: 24 November 2006 at 10:40pm |
I don't think there is a right answer and some ppl will always be critical. I would love to be SAHM but we simply can't afford it so when I tell ppl I'm going back to work just 4 weeks after the birth (pretty much full time) I get the 'funny' looks and I've gotten a few comments of how babies need their mums etc etc. At the end of the day, you alone know what's best for you and your family and as long as you as family agree on it and are happy with the decision, then it really dosn't matter what ppl think/say. I agree with Jen - ppl are always going to judge regardless what you decide to do.
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nuttymama
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 7:28am |
I'm a sahm for our three kids, I'm kind of lucky hubby is really old fashioned and as we both had sahm's we felt we wanted the same for our kids. It's works well for us as we don't have anyone to look after the kids if they are sick and I don't have to worry about constantly taking time off work. We are incredibly lucky that hubby has a well paid job that allows me to stay home otherwise things may have been different.
I also constantly get comments about when am I going back to work but after nine years I can quite easily ignore them now. I will admit to worrying about what the heck I am going to do when the kids grow up being out of the work force so long. No one has to justify themselves for the decisions they have made I believe everyone is different and you do what you have to do for the sake of your family. I have just as much respect for working mum's as I do for sahm's.
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EllenMumof2
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 7:43am |
Our family assstaince payments(IRD) make it easier for me to stay home to i think if we didn't get these i would probaly have to go back to work
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Carmel
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 9:01am |
I would love to b a SAHM but have been back at work since Piper was 2 months old as our finances couldnt stretch to me staying home with the mortgage and everything else, I have a very good friend that looks after her which makes it a bit easier for my peace of mind knowing she is with someone she knows really well
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Bombshell
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 9:38am |
Im not sure I (me personally) could be a SAHM but am totally impressed with those who are! being a fulltime live in nanny was hard enough!
Our situation is that we have a lifestyle we chose, one that involves us both working to pay for the house, the rentals, the boat, travel etc etc...and i would miss the money to be perfectly honest. Having said that trying to weigh up working with all the stuff i will miss out on doing with bubs that the SAHMs get to do in their day will be hard...so finding that happy medium for me is the key. I would love to go swimming lessons, baby gym etc with bubs but know I will have to fit that in on my time off....am thinking of working less hours but not really what i see as parttime. Most of those activities are in middle of day etc so even working 9 - 4 or something means i would miss out.
I would be interested in knowing what some of you girls who have chosen to be SAHMs did in the "workplace" before bubs came along though? Is it easier to leave some jobs than others perhaps? I know a lot of the girls on USA sites give up work when pregnant etc even. Just thinking aloud...
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Peace
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:02pm |
I must say I absolutely love being a SAHM! I completely admire those  girls  that have gone back to work, I went back to work when Olivia was about 8 weeks old and it lasted for about 10 weeks and I just couldn't handle it anymore, being away from my baby was hell. I am such a sook  . That and hubby said that I could and we got more money on family assistance anyways!
I don't want Olivia to go into child care IMO, if I can look after my child then I should do it. I do need to go back to work at some stage though... I just haven't decided when!
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busymum
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:08pm |
Bombshell I was a legal exec but I always wanted to be a SAHM before I got the job (had it for 6yrs before kids). I worked with another legal exec with kids, she worked 8.30am to 3pm and that seemed to be okay. Part-time depends on the business though, when I was looking at cutting down my hours towards the end of my pregnancy my boss really needed me to be full-time or not at all, given I was his only full-time support staff (small office of 4).
So anyway it was a big drop in money, especially because DH was studying full-time, but went with my heart.
Some people manage to work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday as another part-time compromise... just a thought.
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lizzle
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:35pm |
I have had a million jobs and SAHM is the toughest - without a doubt - no days off, 24/7 hours. no sick days, no holiday pay, in fact no pay at all! And your boss is 2ft tall and highly egocentric. Lovely! Like to see how many people would apply for THAT if advertised.
I am going a little crazy being a SAHM acually. I'd love to get out and get a part time job but with lewis' hours being all over the place, and I am studying to be a high school teacher, so have a course in March and 6 week placement in may to do. I may do some relief work next year, which would suit me well. i can work around lewis' schedule (he's a bar manager) and get some out-of-the-house time as well.
One of the best things I have ever done is institue the "day off". Every Thursday morning is my "day off" and I take off with the car leaving lewis to the boys/ Absolutely brilliant! Although the first couple of tiems I felt really guilty!
as for going back to work, When Taine turns 3 and is eligible for that free 20 hours coming in, I will probably go back to full-time work. saying that, we have also talked about having another baby around that time, or maybe a year later, so who knows. We are extremely lucky in that our house is rent free - so we don't have huge rental costs to worry about, although we are planning to save for a house once i work.
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mumandbubs
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Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:40pm |
If I did have my ownlittle business where I could take Austin I'd be a stay at home mum too. As it is it isn't much different because he's with me, we're just not in our house. at home I'd be in the lounge or he'd be in his bedroom sleeping, at work we're in the shop front or he's in his bedroom out the back sleeping.
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