Expectations vs reality!

haha, my Dh doesn't want to go on holiday until the kids have grown up and left home

I think my biggest thing is that i really didn't expect it to be sooooooooooo hard, seemed so easy when I looked after other peoples kids for a few hours.

I also thought I would go back to work but the reality was once Spencer was born I just couldn't bring myself to put him in daycare so we have been skint ever since, which wasn't what we were expecting to be like either.

But in many many ways my expectations have been more than met, the love I have for them both is just overwhelming and the joy I get from all the little things they do, learn, get excited about is amazing.
I didn't think it was possible to be proud of a child telling me they had peed their pants until I had kids.

There has been only one moment where I caught myself thinking that what I was doing was like my pre-children idea of motherhood. I was walking the dog, wearing JJ on my back, striding along the side of the road and it was that lovely late afternoon light so the sun was low in the sky and I could see our silhouettes quite clearly in the long grass. I thought "yes! That's what I thought motherhood was going to be like for me!"

Other than that, I didn't really have much idea. When I was on maternity leave before JJ arrived I went and bought a whole pile of novels to read in all the down time I was going to have

jaz wrote: I think the hardest part is having the energy. I'm not sure whether kids are really draining or if its just life in general.

I agree. I think before having kids I was paid to have energy Now I can stay in my pj's all day if I really really want to.

TBH I didn't really have expectations. I knew it would be a hard slog and exhausting. It was, but now it's a piece of cake (for the next 6 moths, before I have to do it all again!).

I can't remember life without her

I'm not sure I had expectations but I agree about tiredness, you are told about broken nights and then about them going but nobody mentions the fact its just tiring whether they sleep or not, I also heard about mothers guilt but had no idea how bad that is or how you can feel guilty about everything.

You also perhaps expect you will love a baby, but have no idea what that means or feels like, and how amazing it is.

DS at Christmas just turned and said mummy to me as clear as anything like he'd always been saying it and I can't remember a better present.

I think the negatives are completely outweighed by being the whole world to another human being. It's like being a superhero-all your kids want is you & they think you are just amazing. And yep, it's the little things that melt your heart-the little cuddles & kisses, the cute things they say just out of the blue, & the immense pride you feel when they learn something new.

I didn't want to have children when I first got married & I am SO gald I came around & decided to have a family. Yes it's hard work & bloody tiring & thankless sometimes, but it's made my life meaningful & magical & I am so grateful. Noting is more fun than children.

When I was pregnant I didn't really think much further than the birth so didn't really know what to expect. However I know I didn't think it would be like it is I never expected my whole life to change completely or that I would love the new life better than the old.

I did think parenting would get easier but it has not got easier, possibly harder. I also cannot believe how fast it has gone and how little I actually remember

I have it say, I expected that baby)s) would just fit in around me, and was fond of saying that....as in they would come with and do whatever I was doing and my life wouldn't change, that they would learn to be good and quiet etc while I carried on as I did pre baby...
First baby did... to an extent, but once he got to about 9 months or so, it just didn't work that way at all, and I learned the hard way that life with kids means adjusting your life a wee bit. And friends dropped off, invitations dried up a bit and I had to really come to reality that I was a mother now and the only one of my circle so far (and still) and I had a new "normal". Cried alot of tears about it at the time,   Of course the arrival of #2 proved that point 1000 fold. There is no way I could make 2 kids fit into "my" life, but by then, I was used to it. sort of.
I didn't expect to look at those with one child so "differently", jealous almost with their almost the same as before lives and feel cross when they complain - what on earth do they have to complain about! It's soo much harder/more tiring/more everything with 2 kids.... over that now, but wow, that was soemthign I didnt see coming!

If I was to be perfectly honest, I'd have to say that at times it is much, much harder than I expected. I was used to being successful at work, in control, and being able to achieve what I wanted as long as I put my mind to it. Work was a huge part of my life, and when that was taken away I didn't know who I was to some degree. Suddenly having my "achievement" be having a shower, or getting a load of washing done was something I struggled a bit to deal with at first. I also had a lot of preconceived ideals about how a baby would work around my life too etc etc. And I've never coped well with tiredness, so that was tough.

In saying that, it's exceeded my expectations in so many ways and being a mum has undoubtedly made me a better person. I've seen hubby in a new light and love nothing more than seeing him interact with our son. I've had to relax more and learn to go with the flow and enjoy the simple things more. And I'm slowly learning not to analyse every little detail in a way to make things the way they *should* be. If he's not sleeping through the night at 5 months then I accept that and move on to some degree!

Seeing how much he's changed and grown and the absolute adoration he has for us as parents beats any achievement at work. And now I know that my "job" is simply to be there for him and love him and that's all I have to achieve in any given day.

I love the way that when we relax, we can do a lot of the things that we did before. We took him overseas at 4 months and he coped so well. That's another thing, the pride at small achievements - how impressed you can be with a successful burp or rolling over.

I never expected to love him so much, or to see what an impact he'd make on my extended family and how much joy he'd bring.

It is as I expected it just more tiring and a little boring. That sounds terrible,.... now Jake is getting a bit older, more mobile, chatty and interactive its getting less boring.

I dont anything can prepare you for that first 3 months.... I was a nanny pre baby and it still threw me... At least next time I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel LOL