Nudie Bars.

Right, so i'm having a bit of a mental at the moment because my stupid husband has decided he's going out to look at someone elses boobs and arse with my BIL. I am NOT impressed.

I have no problem with these establishments, theres always a need for them etc etc, but I just dont want my husband going! I'm having enough problems with feeling unwanted etc etc (thanks pregnancy, I hate you) He thinks i'm overracting and my BIL is just sitting there telling me that i'm a prude and a nanna etc.

I cant stop him from going out (they're going to the casino) but if I find out they've been to the nudies i'll be very very angry! Hes a sh*t liar and i'll find out.
I'm not insecure or worried about trust bla bla, but I know for a fact that my BIL will buy him a lapdance and he doesnt need someone elses boobies rubbed in his face tbh.

What do I do!? Am I being a nanna and a prude or will he be sleeping in the spare room until he's understood why I dont want him to go?

You're not a Nana or a prude.
I'd be throwing a tanty myself...but they are the standards we've set in our relationship. I'm not knocking anyone else...just saying I'm a strict wifey I guess.

That doesn't sound so good

Anyways I don't know about the spare room treatment, I think it's a fight naked on the couch one. So he can have all that extra time to build you up, and when he can see what he gets at home for free maybe he won't feel the need to have BIL buy him lapdances.

I hope you have a girly treat yourself type night planned!! Don't sit and stew and worry. It's not good for you

maybe a slight over reaction.... i sent my husband to one before our wedding. and quite frankly he didnt even enjoy it that much.

Now i have a problem with lying though and if he lied about not going then he would find himself in big trouble!

i think too your BIL was a bit rude and it didnt really have anything to do with him.

I wouldn't have a problem with DH going to a nudie bar if he told me about it. They're not my cup of tea (or his) but I know he's gone with mates for stag nights and stuff in the past. I WOULD have a problem with a lapdance or if he lied about going somewhere like that though.

Also agree with Bizzy re your BIL being very rude calling you names. If you're not happy about it, that's your prerogitive and it's none of HIS business. I think I'd be more pi$$ed off about the name calling - and while I am more than capable of sticking up for myself, I would be pretty upset if DH let someone in his family speak to me like that without saying something.

ouch - if i slapped my husband and gave him a mouth full of nasty words then i think he would be justified in going to a nudey bar and would probably do it just out of spite!

hmm seems im in the minority on this one, just doesnt bother me in the slightest.

DH can go whenever he likes, he has been twice since we have been together, both for stags.....

I do have a look but dont touch policy so wouldnt be ok with the lap dance, but then neither would he, sooooo painfully shy I think he might faint LOL.

Not very nice of him to throw that in your face, but mine would go to spite me too if I slapped him in the face... not a big fan of violence to make a point really.

Hope it doesnt turn into a massive fight for you and your DH.

Edited by melnel

I think I also am in the minority here. I really don't care if he goes to those places... which he doesn't very often, only on big nights out with mates for special occasions. It's not like he hangs out there every night, it's not like he knows them by name! LOL

At the end of the day... he's coming home to you.

Think of it this way, It's like seeing some awesome car drive past you, for a moment, you wonder and think what it'd be like to own that car, to drive that car, but it turns the corner and you thank goodness for your car you have, your car that's taken you so many places, your trusty car that you know and love, and hey, in a few minutes you forget that other car...

Guys like to look, we all know that. I'd rather him be somewhere like that than getting up close and personal with some skank in a pub somewhere.


In our house the motto is "don't sweat the small stuff" we are ruthlessly truthful, and open and honest about things, strip clubs don't bother me, he has female friends, lots of them, that doesn't bother me either. As he's often said, yeah some of the chicks at those places do have large "racks" and yeah they might be something to look at, but who cares, fun for a moment not for a lifetime. lol he's had plenty of lap dances, his mates thinks it's fun to shout them to the little guy. It's a laugh, he comes home, he tells me, we laugh, I could never live up to them in body, but it's our souls, our minds that have the connection.
You said it doesn't come down to trust, but then what is it? Is it that (and I know, cos I've been there too) by this stage in your pregnancy, you do get to the point where you feel like he'd probably rather look at any other person than the tired, preggo ball of hormones that we all turn into. If so then you need to stop being so down on yourself, he's with you for a reason, and he loves YOU. lets face it.. guys just like girly bits..

Give him a break.   Yeah he shouldn't have said the no sex in 5 months thing, that's not fair at all, but if he isn't getting any, then at least let him look and get some jollies somewhere else so he'll stop annoying you for something you maybe don't want.

Just my 2 cents... and not meaning to offend at all.

Edited by mum2paris

LOL Janine your post reminds me of what my mum always says: "It doesn't matter where they get their appetite as long as they eat at home" I'm another one that's not bothered by it, although maybe that's because I know the times mine has been (for stags) he has been nonplussed. (Might be a different story if he showed a bit more interest in doing it more often.)

I'm with those who've commented on the name calling and possible lying - I would find that unacceptable. (But then I think slapping him is unacceptable too, sorry - although that was a sh!tty thing for him to say, esp in front of someone else.)

I'm even further down in the minority as my DP goes with a close-knit circle of guy freinds (all happily married/attached) to a 'titty-bar' (their words, not mine lol) on most thursday nights (i.e topless waitresses) As someone else said, we have a 'window shopping' policy... 'Oooh that looks nice, but we dont have the money for something we dont NEED' and walk right past.

I know he wouldnt do anything that wasnt above board, and I trust him implicitly

I would be highly brassed off had he made a comment such as your hubby has, but I wouldnt be slapping him either... he would more than likely get the opposite reaction in that things would get rather chilly around home until an apology or maaaaajor butt kissing happened.

As a bit of aside humour... it was ME moaning about not getting any in months, not DP in the latter stages of pregnancy! We had an early labour scare at 29 weeks straight after some really good fun... and he put his foot down and said no more! Then I had to wait for c-section scar to heal, boobs to stop randomly spurting etc... I was the one getting fustrated in the end lol!

I agree with Mum2Paris and Weegee they have said all that I would say.