Last Name ?

Hi Ladies

Me and my partner are in a ruck atm with deciding the last name of our baby boy due in April. I know most of them take the dads last name but untill we get married later on down the track if it happens of course ( we are only 19 atm) i would really like our baby to have my last name untill then. The problem is my partner said i can choose but if i choose it to have my last name he will need some time to get over it, he would be abit gutted

Also even tho i know nothing will split me and my partner up, a feeling inside of me is wanting our baby to have my last name untill we get married incase we do split, as i have heard it's easier to have custody of your child if it has your last name ? Not too sure on that tho.

What would you do in my situation ? Also my partners parents can be really hard to get along with sometimes and of course atm they naturally think our baby's last name is my partners so i think i may be a little stubborn and want it mine aswell because of that

Any advice or help would be really appreciated

Yeah it will cost down the track if you get married.

Pretty sure surname has nothing to do with custody as he'll be listed on the birth certificate anyway, which is legally binding.

Have you thought about baby having your surname as a middle name?

SNAP Emz

Yeah it does make more sense to do it now instead of later i guess Lol no his last name isnt hideous I just didnt want him to feel upset or anything

I didnt know that Haha for some strange reason it does make me feel better lol

Bubie, I was in your situation when pregnant with my DD. I was engaged to her father, and so we decided to give DD his surname as I would be taking his name when we married. Unfortunately I split up with her father, and I am now remarried with 2 children with my husband. I am happy that I gave DD her dads surname, for her sake as well as his. We are now looking into hyphernating her surname with ours, so that she shares a surname with her dad, but also with her brother and sister.
I think that her having his surname is important to her now that she is old enough to understand.
Hope this helps

Hey I'm also 19 and sorta had the same problem!

We've agreed to have DPs last name for our wee girl. My family was a bit gutted as they still hope DP and I will break up even though we've already been together 3 years!

We've talked marriage and stuff but have agreed to do that later on.

Have you thought about having both last names? And you can always drop one later or not...?

Also when I was born my parents weren't married and I took my fathers last name. They split a wee while after I was born and I had my last name changed to my mums just before I started school. If anything I find it a pain as I constantly have to provide my new birth certificate to prove I've had a name change!

Also re the easier getting custody, it doesn't matter what the last name is. My mum got full custody as once they split he wasn't really interested. In fact I never saw him again until I was 15, and that was a mission for me as I had no idea I'd had a name change or what his last name was!

My kids have both our last names (hyphernated) thats another option for you.

We chose to do the hypernated thing as we were both young (i was 18 and dh was 22) and we loved the idea of baby having both our last names. Now DH and i are married we have the same hyphernated name as our children.

I found this a really difficult decision too. On my side of the family there isn't anyone to carry on the family name hence the main reason why I wanted my daughter to have my last name. I also like my name better than his and wouldn't change my name even if we got married.

To me though, it came down to the fact that it was more important to DP that she had his last name than it was to me. Although he would've gone along with it, it would've upset him quite a bit whereas it's something I could live with fairly easily.

I do have to say though that it is a real pain when I'm filling in forms and things and have to write out two separate names for us both. Or having to spell out 2 sets of names when on the phone and enrolling her somewhere. It'd be so much easier if her name was the same as mine.

DP and I arent married and arent planning on getting married. Our DD has his surname as a middle name and my surname as her surname.

It helps that his surname is a difficult one but even if it wasnt I think I'd have insisted on my surname just to be obtuse. Preggy hormones and being a raging feminist and all