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  | FionaS   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 17 April 2007
 Location: Auckland
 Points: 5117
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Topic: Hardest Transition Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:29pm
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   To those of you with mulitple kids - which transition did you find the most difficult to adjust to?
 0 to 1 child
 1 to 2 children
 2 to 3 children
 3 + 
 Interested to hear different thoughts and experiences.
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     Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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  | surfergirl   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 27 July 2007
 Location: Christchurch
 Points: 631
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:33pm | 
 
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   Great question! (obviously I can't answer...)
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  | emz   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 25 November 2006
 Location: Christchurch
 Points: 5321
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:43pm | 
 
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   Well I only have two but will answer anyway...
 Obviously to the first child as it was a major lifestyle change! But I have heard that going from 1 to 2 is harder than 2 to 3 and so on.
 
 Anyone care to agree/disagree or explain that?
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  | FionaS   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 17 April 2007
 Location: Auckland
 Points: 5117
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:47pm | 
 
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   I've heard the same Emz hence the question    | 
 
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     Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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  | Bizzy   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 10974
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:48pm | 
 
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   having three young kids is hard.  they all have such different needs and you have to slot them in with each other.  for instance i have one at school, one at kindy and the other one at home with me.  Neither of the boys have been at the same stage before, and at one point i had one in morning kindy and one in afternoons.  when they are all older it may be different except if they all want to do different sports or other activities.
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  | MrsMojo   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 18 March 2008
 Location: Wellington
 Points: 8202
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 10:03pm | 
 
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   I can't speak from personal experience but my mum and I were talking about this awhile ago and she said 2 is harder than 1, 3 is harder than 2, 4 is harder than 3 but by the time 5 & 6 come along it's no harder because you can only be busy for 24 hours per day. I guess it's different for each family and each baby but it doesn't get easier when you add a newborn (jmo) | 
 
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  | FionaS   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 17 April 2007
 Location: Auckland
 Points: 5117
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 10:07pm | 
 
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   5 & 6!  Pass.  That is a lot of kids    | 
 
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     Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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  | minik8e   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Taranaki
 Points: 5838
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 10:32pm | 
 
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   0 to 2     I had no idea what to do with one baby, let alone two at the same time!!  I imagine one baby will seem easy next time, even if it does take us to 3 kids....well, I hope that's the case anyway!!
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  | mamanee   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Hamilton
 Points: 2244
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 02 February 2010 at 11:03pm | 
 
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   0-1 at first was very daunting and at the time I reckoned it was pretty hard, but looking back and with the knowledge and experience I have gained since then, I realise that 1-2 is SO much harder!     I've only recently had #2, but so far it's been pretty full on as S doesn't sleep during the day anymore, J doesn't settle until well after 11PM each night and still wakes twice, and I am hating this hot, stuffy, muggy weather.    Takes time to adjust, but we're getting there!
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  | peanut butter   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 20 February 2007
 Points: 8044
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 7:37am | 
 
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   0-1 felt hard.  1-2 was hard at the start but now just feels normal.  When you have 2 you do think 1 is easy though.  And I do admit to looking at my friends who only have one and think "wow, imagine the time you could spend, and the tantrums and behaviour you could avoid"
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  | jaycee   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 11 June 2008
 Location: Wellington
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 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 7:50am | 
 
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   I love that none of the Mums with 3+ kids have answered this question yet - they must be too busy    Great question though. I imagine that it is the logistics that change with 3+ (that whole 'more kids than hands' thing!)
eta - typo 
 Edited by jaycee
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  | Cassie   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 20 July 2007
 Location: New Plymouth
 Points: 2817
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 8:01am | 
 
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   0-1 was a big transition for me because she was 1yr old when she came into my full time family. 1-2 wasn't that difficult, but possibly because Ivy was a little bit older. 2-3 I worry about, and have heard that it's the hardest transition. Have also been told that 4 is way easier to handle (no-one is ever left out, where as with 3, that is often the case), and not a huge shift at all from 3. 
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  | HippyMama   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 15 January 2008
 Points: 1655
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 8:04am | 
 
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   0-1 for me, 1-2 was challenging but we have settled into our own rhythm quite well and it hasn't been nearly as bad as I feared.
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     Mama to two earth walkers & two angels.
 Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz
 
 Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !!
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  | Bizzy   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 10974
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 8:04am | 
 
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|  jaycee wrote: 
 I love that none of the Mums with 3+ kids have answered this question yet - they must be too busy
   
 Great question though. I imagine that it is the logistics that change with 3+ (that whole 'more kids than hands' thing!)
 
 eta - typo
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 i have 3 but not +
 someone else was right tho about the newborn with other kids, that is hard.  you dont have the time to devote to just sit there cuddling and fussing over your baby cause there are others needs to be met as well.  The biggest adjustment is from 0 to 1 (or in some cases 2 or more)... but you dont realise how cruisy one is until you have 2!  (well some people cause i always thought 1 was easy and wonder why i thought 2 would be just as easy!) 
 Edited by Bizzy
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  | .Mel   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 14 January 2007
 Location: Orewa
 Points: 9078
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 8:15am | 
 
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   I found going from 2 to 3 the hardest... probably because I'd had a few years without sleepless nights, bottles and nappies.  
 It was also hard for me because he came early and he was so much smaller than the other two and BFing was a real chore and I really struggled with not being able to do what I'd done with the other two, of course it didnt' help that I had no support from my MW or plunket etc.. (thats a whole different story).
 
 Now that he's older I'm finding it alot easier, he's such a socialable guy and loves his big bro and sis, and they are the same towards him, which is very rewarding.
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     Mr Mellow (16)
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  | Emmecat   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 30 April 2007
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 5068
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 9:48am | 
 
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   I've heard that 1-2 is the most tricky transition....bugger lol  I can't comment cos we only have one at the mo but am TTC number two. However, from a Step-Mama point of view, 2 is MUCH easier than 3, 4 is easier than 3 and 5 is pretty full on but yeah after 4 you stop counting and just leave them to it lol  It seems to be that odd number of 3 that is hard as potential always for someone to be left out...I'm one of 3 and it was definately that way growing up (for my brother lol). | 
 
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  | xLUCKYx   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 30 September 2007
 Location: Waitakere
 Points: 2340
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 10:07am | 
 
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|  nzpiper wrote: 
 0-1 felt hard.  1-2 was hard at the start but now just feels normal.  When you have 2 you do think 1 is easy though.  And I do admit to looking at my friends who only have one and think "wow, imagine the time you could spend, and the tantrums and behaviour you could avoid"
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 I second this :) 
 I obviously can't talk from experience but I imagine when having a third, the other 2 will already be used to sharing your time whereas when number 2 came along number 1 had to learn about sharing Mummy's time so it was a harder transition in the beginning. 
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  | mumtooboys   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 31 May 2008
 Location: Wellington
 Points: 236
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 10:12am | 
 
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   I find going from 0-1 the hardest, 1-2 was easy.  LOL
 We are debating a 3rd, I am keen, DP isn't.     Now maybe I found it easier because in many ways I only have 1 the majority of the time during the week because of the age gap.  DS1 was really great and very understanding of the fact that the baby took priority and has always been keen to help.  Because of how we choose to parent I think that has helped ease the transition from 1-2 as well because I can still spend time dealing with DS1's needs while still being able to tend to DS2's needs as well.  Now they are both older they have to take turns about who has to wait when they both want something at the same time; but I am great at juggling anyway.      | 
 
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  | Joscia   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 03 October 2007
 Points: 522
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 10:22am | 
 
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|  minik8e wrote: 
 0 to 2
  I had no idea what to do with one baby, let alone two at the same time!!  I imagine one baby will seem easy next time | 
 Funny you should say this Kate - my friend has twin boys who are nearly 2, AND another 6 month old boy. 
 She went out for coffee the other day because she had some time off from the kids, and turned up with her youngest because he 'doesn't count', as he's so easy in comparison!     Can't really comment on the original question as we've only got DS so I have nothing to compare it to, but I initially found the transition from 0-1 to be one of the most grueling things I've ever done - enough to swear off  having any more EVER. But now, as is always the case, we're thinking about #2    Though no time soon. 
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  | Febgirl   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 10 August 2007
 Points: 1033
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 03 February 2010 at 11:06am | 
 
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   0-1 here, so far 1-2 has been so much easier than I was anticipating. When you have your second baby the sleep deprivation isn't as much a shock to the system as you've already gone through it with your first so know what you're in for! 
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     Two little girls under 2! 
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