Ist birthdays

I know my son is only 5 months but I have been thinking about his first birthday already as I know no matter how we do it we will annoy someone.

We sorry we need to do what it is right for us.

I am not sure I want to invite the family from out of town as its such a long way to come and he wont remember the birthday either.
I was thinking of having a birthday with family close by and friends of ours eg ones with kids and maybe a few more friends as well is this ok to do this?

It wont be a big birthday but just want a smaller a birthday with less stress from out of town family to.

I also wonder if its ok to ask people to bring a plate of food especially when there will be quite a few adults at it and is ok to say no clothing for presents as we have to much for him already if you want to buy him a gift could you please ask us what he needs.

???

I would make sure that you def invite the grandparents if they have a wee bit to do with them esp if they are out of town.

I ended up having 2 partys for DS as it was easier. I had the kids one which was one day after school so 3-5 so just simple afternoon tea stuff for both kids and the mums. I then did one on his actual birthday (a sunday) for family and friends with no kids etc.

I personally think its fine to say bring a plate but then I would say no gifts. I know most people will probably bring something anyway and in that situation I think its rude to say what they can't buy. If you decide to flag the bring a plate - I still think its rude to tell people what to buy etc. Yes, you might get some clothes but to be honest we just ended up with lots of books and trucks!

It sounds like you know what you want to do anyway so if your comfortable with it then just do it.

There is really no right or wrong with what you do for a 1st birthday and you know your family/friends so you know what they would find ok or not.

Afternoon teas are cheap and easy to do.

Okay this is my opinion which of course you dont have to agree with but since you did ask...

I would issue the invite to all the grandparents out of respect but DONT let them muck up the day for you guys, they only have the power you give them so if they accept (which if they are slack they might not even bother) just take a deep breath and make sure your DH/DP is on board with how the day will be run and that these people are not royalty and will need to work in with you guys. I'd want to give them every opportunity to be involved in his life, even if its just so they can never say 'but she never even invited us to his first birthday, its all her fault we dont have a relationship with our grandchild'

If you would like people to bring a plate then I would say please no gifts, and be secretly thrilled at the thought you might get some nice surprises anyway on the day.

Also I would find it pretty, well, rude really if a birthday invite specified what type of gift I was allowed / not allowed to buy the child. I totally understand that you might have more than enough clothes but IMO that is a step too far. Hopefully thoughtful people will ask anyway and you can drop subtle hints that your little guy has so many clothes he's never going to get chance to wear them all and they'll pick up on it!!

As for us, we had a family afternoon tea - both sets of grandparents and an aunt and uncle from each side of the family and no friends and no babies. It was perfect, DS lasted the distance, never got stressy or upset and then they all stayed for a great BBQ in the evening. This year for his second birthday we'll make it more of a party for him, with his little buddies and a bouncy castle etc.

We just had small family party for Cadens 1st bday and a couple of close friends, but got a mudcake and I decorated it myself and he had heaps of fun.

As for presents I agree with Bizzy and kiwikid - I wouldnt write on invites what and what not to buy as a present is a present and really should be appreciated regardless of whether he needs what he has been given or not.

Caden got heaps of toys for his first bday and not really any clothes.

ETA- often though, people will ask you what he needs etc, in that case you could throw a few idea's their way :)

Edited by Sheza

huttlady wrote: I have already had the problem of people buying stuff we dont need for him at xmas and not asking once which makes it hard.

coyuld be worse, you could have people that don't care enough about your child to even give any presents .
If you have stuff you don't need, give it away to a family that needs it , i've never expected people to ask me what they should get my children, im just glad they get them anything at all .

As for the birthday , put your foot down and make the party or celebrations what you want it to be , you wont get a first birthday with your baby again

Edited by caitlynsmygirl

caitlynsmygirl wrote: AlloAllo wrote: I wuld definitly go with whot you want. Its yous guys pardy! Have you thought of a list or something to include in the pardy invite? Like they do at weddings. You get to choose whot yous want for prezzies and no how much they cost. SUm people are so cheep. Invite who you want. I hate rellies who stress my baybes to. And if peeps don't bring a plate maybe a cuver charge? ...sounds like a pretty complicated birthday party , present lists ? cover charge ?

no kelly not a cover charge, a cUver charge - theres a difference you know!

some people go all out for first birthdays, some make it about the parent surviving the first year, others its all about the baby and some combine them with chistenings (or other ceremonies like naming or baptism). Its what you want and what you want to spend. but people who care enough to attend shouldnt be told what not to buy or what to buy. most people are sensible but there are those that dont know or who cant afford what you think they should buy.

you've got over 6 months to plan it, plenty time to change your mine heaps of times over!

Cover charge LOL
Instead of invites why don't you just sell tickets?

Edited by kellie

My sister had a little 1st birthday party for her son. At 12 noon she had a few mums and babies from coffee group, it was really sweet. She made a cake and tea and coffee for the mums, with ham sandwiches and had a few little things for the babies to eat. They had balloons on the floor and played the wiggles and they blew bubbles. It was just for an hour. The kids loved it, short and sweet.

Then at 2.30, the family came over for a bbq, everyone bought a plate and something for the bbq. Family and close friends understand that you have no money when you have a baby and that its too much work to try and cater - you would be frantic!

Everyone was very happy contributing and it was very stress free. The men stood round the bbq, the ladies put there plates out and everyone had a nice time. You could put at the bottom of the invitation
ps. my baby loves books, toys and things that make noises. Remember, its to celebrate the birth of a lovely little human, just focus on him and let everyone else just flow around you.

Edited by Millyoboy

huttlady wrote: I have already had the problem of people buying stuff we dont need for him at xmas and not asking once which makes it hard.

Pfft that's what trade me is for, either you accept what people give (its a gift after all) or ask for no presents.

Its only a 1st birthday after all, with many more to come.
The polite thing would be to invite both sets of grandparents, and have the type of celebration you want to have. Afternoon tea is a great idea as its not too long. Nothing like over-tired upset kids to ruin a party.