GGGRRRR at everything.. lol

Argh have had a rough few days, well, month really, anyway on saturday it was one month to the day since our first scan. I had a reallllllly bad bad bad day. the next day i was pretty torn up too with it being mother's day etc, even little things like opening the mother's day card and seeing it from my two little girls names.. and thinking " there should be the baby's name on there"   

Paris is trying to make sense of it all and is sad too, asking lots of questions, as kids do, but little things that are so innocent and sweet. The other night she asked me "mummy, if our baby is an angel up in heaven who tucks it in at night?" That was a curly one.. I tried my best to keep my composure.. but it was hard.

Things have been hard, this week has consisted of seeing another person i know who just had another baby 2 days ago.. i didn't even know she was pregnant. meeting up with another friend who has a girl the same age as ayja, and finding out she's having another too and is just under 14 weeks along.. i should have been over 12 by now. our babies would have been 2 weeks apart.. just like our nearly 2 yr old daughters are (uncanny huh?) and then finding out one of our old neighbours is also pregnant.. only 5 weeks along, but whoa, so so many preggies around.

I just had stupid howly crying all night on saturday..

We got test results back too, which.. ta-da.. confirmed that there had been absolutely nothing wrong.. i had been hopeful of having some closure - instead the phone call left me very very angry. Lucky no one was home cos i got off the phone and just kinda yelled "well, why the ... ??!!! what a load of..." I knew they can't tell you causes, just tell you if there was something wrong. but still, it just brought it home to me how futile and stupid it all was/is.

That and finally, after having 1 week without hot water.. (this happened the week i had my D&C.. landlord took his sweet time to fix it!) the gas cylinder got fixed, only to have them tell us the same day that they have decided to put the house on the market.. from THIS week. so in all this we have to now find a new house, we have looked at a new place today and it is sooo nice, very new, very tidy, perfect for us, we have to wait till tomorrow to see if we have gotten it.. god i hope we have gotten it, i have no idea what will happen if we don't.. all the other places around there are just not that great.

Am seriously getting really annoyed.. so far this year has been very very bad for us. it better darn-well change.

Sorry for venting, just getting very sick of everything right now.

GGGGRRR life is so unfair sometimes.



Edited by mum2paris

Aw Janine that sucks!!! Some good luck can't be far away... hang in there

Aww Janine something good is bound to happen. Hopefully you get that house is it still in the area for schools?? I would say come and rent the house next to us i'm not liking living next door to students (a student saying this ) but I don't know how to get rid of them.

Aww Janine I hope thing start picking up for you soon.

Fingers crossed that you get the house.

If you want someone to do some ringing around for homes or anything, or a place to come chat, give me a call Janine. Sorry your weekend has been so rotten.

Janine. I have everything crossed that you will get the house.

awwww janine! what a rough time you guys are having lately! something wonderful must be around the corner hun...

when will you find out if you got the house?

Hugs Janine - best of luck with getting the house, and hoping things look up for you guys soon. Sometimes it seems like it all falls apart at once (believe me, I am Murphy's biggest enemy and yet he still persists in annoying me ) but you get to a point where things can't get any worse, and then they start getting better.

Thinking of you guys and of your wee angel.